


Impossible

by sephmeadowes



Series: Impossible [1]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cause Edward Can't Help Himself, Comedy of Errors, Coming of Age, F/M, Jessica Stanley Is The Accidental Heroine, No Bella, Rom-Com With Vampires, Sass Queen Jessica, She Doesn't Go To This School, Slow Burn, The Humans Of Twilight Are My Children, accidentally in love, from enemies to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 62,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24664864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephmeadowes/pseuds/sephmeadowes
Summary: All Jessica knew was that she hated Edward Cullen.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Jessica Stanley
Series: Impossible [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830556
Comments: 148
Kudos: 200





	1. Like Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica Stanley hated Edward Cullen.

Jessica Stanley was not a quitter. If there was one lesson her family taught her, it was that not trying was equivalent to losing. She learned from a very young age that she _absolutely_ could not stand losing. And that failure was just another reason to get back on the dang horse as her dad said and try again for the gold.

This single-minded determination helped her win quiz bees and science fairs and she held on to it with each panicked breath close to hyperventilating as she walked towards Edward Cullen. He was the new boy in town who was causing a stir among the female population of Forks High with his biologically blessed chiseled face and enough gel in his hair that had to be a fire hazard. They didn't get a lot of new people in Forks and everyone was curious about him and his family. She and her friends had stared at the Cullens across the cafeteria and whispered among themselves.

Edward Cullen had sat at the chair furthest out from their table giving them a good view of his long legs as he stabbed at the plate of spaghetti he had not taken one bite of. She stared because she couldn't help herself. Humans liked pretty things and he was a _very_ pretty thing. Probably as Vitruvian as he could get.

"You interested in the ginger, Jess?" Lauren almost cooed in that catty way she was so good at. "You might be in luck. I heard he's single."

"Oh?" She pretended to be uninterested, giving more attention to her fruit cup. "No upperclassmen girls vying for his attention?"

"I heard they are but he rejected them," Lauren gave her that smile of hers that was bound to cause her trouble. "Do you wanna make a bet on it? You ask him out and if he says yes, I'll get you those jeans you'd been eyeing for weeks."

There were a pair of jeans at a store in Port Angeles she'd had her eye on but had been more than her allowance could afford. Lauren came from a more affluent family than her and had no such issues. She had been waiting for the jeans to finally go on sale but getting them earlier and for free was too good to pass up. Even when at the back of her mind, she knew the chances of her actually winning this bet were close to none.

She timed it when he wasn't surrounded by his siblings. He was by his locker, head in a book and uncaring about what was happening around him. She summoned all the courage she could muster and stopped in front of him, clearing her throat. He didn't immediately look up, his distractingly golden eyes sizing her up from the soles of her faded Converses to the rhinestones in her headband.

She tried not to squirm and failed. Instead, she stuttered out a "Hi."

He didn't say anything, book still open in his hands. She tried to read the cover but only saw 'Faulkner' before he closed it and put it under his arm. He finally asked, "Can I help you?"

"Um, no," She laughed nervously, feeling lightheaded. "I was just wondering if…if you're doing anything this weekend?"

He stared at her for a moment. The gold of his irises reminded her the countless hours she watched _National Geographic_ on TV and the programs about lions. Lions reminded her of the _Lion King_ and Simba and Nala and that Elton John song ' _Can You Feel the Love Tonight?'._ And she did not feel any love at that moment only abject terror.

He questioned, "Why?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out…" She cleared her throat, feeling bile rising up her esophagus. "Go out with me?"

He blinked. She waited. She looked to her right and at the end of the hall were her friends watching her and she wanted to run to them and just say that she changed her mind. But that would be quitting and Jessica Stanley did not do that.

"No."

She turned back to Edward in shock. "What?"

"No," he said, bluntly. "I don't want to go out with you."

"Like…" She tried to process what was happening. "Ever?"

"Like ever," he repeated her with a dry mocking tone that turned her shock into irritation. "I will never be interested."

She gaped at him like a fish. Fish reminded her of _Finding Nemo_ and Dory being sad that Martin didn't like her. And she suddenly felt like sobbing like that dang blue fish because this hurt. This _really_ hurt.

She turned tail and ran, making a beeline for the girl's bathroom. Angela and Lauren followed her and they spent they spent an hour with her crying in a stall and Angela tried to make her feel better. Lauren cursed out Edward and his genitals and disturbing imagery with what she could do with a pair of scissors. They were late for their next class and did not care.

All Jessica knew was that she hated Edward Cullen. He only saw her as some stupid girl not worthy of his time. And she would never be stupid enough again to think he wasn't an arrogant pretentious jerk. _Like ever_. His stupid voice haunted her for days.

* * *

Senior Year was putting Jessica's anxiety through the roof. She was waiting to hear back from Stanford, wondering if her clearly unrequited crush on Mike was tragic or pathetic, and immensely saddened at the future separation from her best friends. She also had to worry about Student Council, Senior Prom, Yearbook, and volleyball practice. And she just wanted to take a very long nap and not bother with everything. That wasn't happening anytime soon.

She was on her way to her next class when she saw Eric talking to some Sophomore girls. Making her way to him before he could escape her again, she grabbed unto his arm and dragged him away. He was forced to crouch down a bit to her height which wasn't that low as he was on the shorter side of the boys. She demanded, "Where are my photos, Eric?"

He looked panicked. "Tomorrow. I'll get them to you tomorrow."

"Last Thursday you said Friday," she retorted. "And last Friday, you said Monday. It's Monday now, Eric. Is tomorrow for you going to be Friday?"

He scratched at the back of his head in embarrassment. "Sorry, Jess. I'll get them in by tomorrow. Promise."

"Tuesday of this week," she clarified. "Not next week or next month or next year."

"Okay, okay," He began to back away, hands up in surrender. "Tomorrow, Tuesday, they will be there."

"They better be!" she called out as he escaped.

When she became the Yearbook Editor, she didn't think she had to chase down people for the dang photographs. At this rate, their yearbook would just be blank pages if she didn't get people moving. Frustrated with her classmates, she made her way to her AP Chemistry class nearly missing the bell. Adding to her mood was having to breathe near Forks High's very own My Chemical Romance reject.

She scowled as she made her way to the back of the class and took the empty seat beside Edward Cullen. Normally, she would've paired up with anyone else but she made the mistake of being almost late on the first day of the class and ended up with Gerard Way's lesser cousin. From her peripheral vision, she noticed he was glaring at her again. He liked doing that and she added it to her mental list of his deficiencies which seemed to get longer each year.

Thankfully, next year she would be in college (hopefully Stanford) and she would be miles and miles away from super pale boys with too much hair gel. Speaking of, she needed to keep him away from the Bunsen burner lest he burn like a vampire in the sun. That reminded her of that old Dracula spoof film where Dracula died at the end cause Igor opened the window. That made her smile and she ignored Edward's intensifying glare.

She continued to ignore him as she focused on the lesson. Chemical bonds were more interesting than Edward Cullen anyway.

"Molecules and compounds are also held together by bonds that are weaker or more temporary than covalent or ionic bonds," Mr. West explained. "A hydrogen bond is a weak intermolecular force that results from an attraction between a positively charged hydrogen atom in one molecule and a negatively charged atom in a nearby molecule."

She raised her hand. "So, in a hydrogen bond, it's sort of like opposites attract?"

Mr. West nodded. "To a certain degree. It's still an attraction between both hydrogen atoms. Not really opposite. Similar but different."

She raised her hand again. "But still temporary?"

He gave a small smile. "Like a lot of things in life, yes. Now, the weakest intermolecular force is a van der Waals force which is the forced attraction between atoms of any element…"

Jessica dutifully took down her notes, making sure to keep them as tidy and organized with pens with different colored inks. Edward was still watching her as she doodled little cartoon atoms on the corners of her notebook. She continued to ignore him. She reminded herself that her time around him was temporary like those dang hydrogen bonds and it gave her some comfort.

Even if the thought of leaving home and being around people she'd known all her life terrified her, Edward Cullen wouldn't be at Stanford. He would probably be at some Ivy League school far away from her where he could torment other girls. And she would forget all about him. She couldn't wait.

* * *

Jessica was going to kill Eric if he did not have those photos this morning. She would drown him in Lake Pleasant and nobody would find his body till spring. Lauren had just parked her car and they were crossing the parking lot to the school entrance when she heard the screech of tires. She recognized Tyler's blue van and froze like a shocked dear.

 _This is it, Jess._ Which would've been the last thought in her short life as her painful death came at her. Except cold hands grasped her around the waist and pulled her out of the way to safety, faster than any human should be capable of being. Tyler's car crashed into a nearby Chevy.

She stared wide-eyed at the blue van and then down at the pale hands still wrapped around her waist. She looked up and saw Edward Cullen staring down at her, his golden eyes wide and terrified. He smelled sweet like the sugary toothpaste her little sister liked. She began to tremble, her breath quickening as the shock kept her still in his arms.

"Jess!" Angela ran over to them. "Are you okay?"

Lauren came with her, eyeing Edward's touch on her warily. He dropped his hands and pulled away, turning and walking towards the school entrance like nothing happened. Angela hugged her and began checking for any injuries. Mike and Eric had opened the car door and pulled out an unconscious Tyler.

She felt dazed like she was in a dream and stared at the school entrance where Edward had disappeared to.

"Jessica," Lauren's firm grip on her shoulder pulled her back to the present. "Are you hurt?"

"No," she answered, remembering the cold touch that came at the last second. "He saved me."

And for the life of her, she did not know how or why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking a break from Voices. And I'm gonna be doing this fic for a while. This came about cause I marathoned the Twilight movies in one night with my friend. And I spent the majority of it gushing about how adorable Anna Kendrick is. And that led to me wanting a fic with Jessica and I thought about how funny it would be to write Edward with a mind he doesn't like (cause he's such a creep in the movies and he made it really hard to like him).
> 
> 1\. In the books, Jessica canonically had a crush on Edward with imaginations he found 'disturbing' and apparently she asked him out at some point and he rejected her.
> 
> 2\. Jessica's personality I have free reign to do what I want as I did with Equinox. She's definitely tougher than Angela and that's not a bad thing. I saw Jessica as that overachiever straight A student who had no problem telling you she was smarter than you. She's also high key anxious all the time and rambles a lot in her head.
> 
> (In high school, I was the Editor of the school newspaper and knew the pain of having to push people to submit their work on time so Jessica losing it at Eric is based on a moment I had with this guy named Allen. Cause for fuck's sakes, Allen. We had an email you could just send it to.)
> 
> 3\. Jessica going to Stanford is based more on the movies. In the books, she went to some school in California.
> 
> 4\. Mr. West is based and named after my high school Science teacher. They should've paid him more.
> 
> 5\. No Bella. We don't need her.
> 
> 6\. Chapter title is from the Taylor Swift song, 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together'.


	2. If You Give A Vampire A Brownie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward was such a butthole.

Tyler had a mild concussion from the crash and was not at school the next day. Angela, being the caring ray of sunshine that she was, made him chicken noodle soup and delivered it to his house. Jessica's mom had hounded her about Edward Cullen and wanted to thank him personally for saving her daughter's life. Due to her long hours at her job, she settled for baking vegan salted caramel brownies for Edward despite Jessica protesting he didn't eat food and only photosynthesized sunlight like a plant. Her mom was not having it.

Thus, Jessica went into her Chemistry class with a tin of mouthwatering brownies she was not allowed to eat. Edward was at his usual seat and staring out the window. It was raining hard that day and the world outside was enveloped in a foggy haze like a dream. She took her seat beside him, placed the tin of brownies on the table and wordlessly slid it towards him.

He saw the heart-shaped tin and she inwardly cursed that her mother recycled Valentine's Day chocolates containers. He might think she was trying to ask him out again and she was _definitely_ not. She would rather date a raccoon with rabies or a carton of expired milk. Both would have more personality than him.

Edward was frowning at her again. Clearing her throat, she explained, "My mom made brownies as a thank you for yesterday. They're vegan and gluten-free."

He eyed the unopened tin, his face impassive. "I don't eat sweets."

"Maybe you can give them to your siblings?" she suggested. "My mom will kill me if I eat them. Believe me. There were threats."

Especially after Jessica and her little sister, Emily, absconded with the first batch of brownies and ate them while hiding in the tree house like the bandits that they were. Her mother had been furious. She thought she saw Edward's mouth quirk in an echo of a smile but it disappeared just as quickly. She probably made it up.

She pushed the tin closer towards him. "Just give it to your mom or something."

He pushed the tin back towards her. "None of us eat sweets. You should give it to your friends instead."

A spark of familiar irritation flashed through her. He probably thought her mother's brownies weren't good enough for him. She smiled wider to hide how she wanted to slap him. She pushed the tin back towards him.

"They were made just for you," she insisted, imagining herself shoving the brownies down his ungrateful throat if he rejected them one more time. " _Please_ just take them."

He looked like he wanted to argue but just sighed, finally taking the tin and shoving it into his backpack. Relieved, she tried to pay attention as Mr. West began his lecture for the day. Edward said nothing to her as per usual. Like yesterday didn't happen.

She thought about it all night. The phantom touch of his arms around her, his shocked expression like he couldn't believe his own actions and the many questions spinning in her head plagued her. How did her get to her so fast? Was it an adrenaline rush or very good timing? His genetically superior long limbs letting him move faster to get to her at the last second?

Why did he save her? He'd never been one to hide his disdain of anyone who wasn't his family. He skimmed the edge of chillingly polite and downright rude for years anytime he had to interact with any of their classmates. And as for his treatment of Jessica, she was surprised he didn't just let her die.

Edward turned to her, golden eyes wide in incredulity as if he was able to guess what her thoughts were. She eyed him warily, watching his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. The pale column of his throat was like paper, the skin nearly translucent and she could see the blue veins underneath. He looked bloodless.

She met his eyes again and he looked almost soft in that moment. Without his casual haughtiness that kept people at an arm's length, she was reminded of how unfairly handsome Edward Cullen was. The high cheekbones, the straight Roman nose, the broad jaw, the full mouth – all together and it was a classically handsome face. His mouth reminded her of cherries.

Cherries reminded her of sundaes at Jitterbugs. This reminded her of last summer and sharing a sundae with Mike when he finally gave in and agreed to spend the day with her. She remembered kissing him in his car on the way home, his mouth still tasting like chocolate syrup. His hands wandered down to…

The bell ringing snapped her out of the memory, her face flushed as she began putting away her stuff. Edward had not sauntered off as he normally did and lingered, watching her as she carefully slid her notebook and her pack of multi-colored pens into her bag. She froze when he got to his feet and leaned down close enough she could feel his cold breath on her neck. Her heart beat faster in her chest and she was scared to exhale.

"Just so we're clear, Jessica, I don't want you dead," he said, his voice low so only they could hear. "You annoy me a lot of the time but that's it. Thanks for the brownies."

He left and she had to give her brain a full minute to recalibrate itself.

* * *

Jessica was beginning to wonder if the universe had it out for her. Later that day at the end of volleyball practice, she went for a much needed water break which gave her a good view of the football team practicing and especially Mike who was the quarterback. The pigskin flew through the air like a heat-seeking missile straight to her face. She didn't have time to move out of the way and she closed her eyes expecting pain but it never came. A hand had caught it right before it made impact to her poor face. Edward Cullen had saved her again. She stared at him in surprise as he threw the pigskin back and Mike bowled over from the strength of the throw.

He turned to her, exasperated. "You're just a magnet for trouble, aren't you?"

"Well, excuse me," she returned waspishly. "No one asked you to come to my rescue."

"Apparently somebody has to," He cocked a condescending eyebrow at her. "You could've gotten a nice goose egg on your forehead because you were so preoccupied mooning over Newton's face."

She gaped at him, outraged. Edward was such a butthole. He was a whole foot taller than her and she had to crane her head all the way back to look up at him and she really wished she had a chair to stand on but that didn't deter her. She poked him in the chest with as much as spite as she could.

"Next time, you should just let me die then," she declared. "And that will be one less unworthy mortal to annoy you, your Highness."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Fine. I won't then."

She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. Dang it. It was hard to be intimidating at five foot two. And her neck was beginning to ache.

"Fine."

"Excellent."

"Fantastic."

Her stomach growled and she glared down at it. Traitor. Practice was over and she was starving. She wanted grilled cheese. And gummy bears.

Her stomach growled again. Edward reached into his backpack and pulled out the tin of brownies. He offered it to her like he was the cautious lion tamer giving a piece of meat to the ferocious lioness that might scratch his face off if he got too close. She scowled at him.

Offended for her poor mother who slaved over those brownies, she asked, "You didn't eat any?"

"I really don't eat sweets. They're wasted on me," He jiggled the tin temptingly and her mouth was salivating at the memory of those dang brownies. "I won't tell your mom if you won't."

He didn't have to tell her twice. She took the tin and opened it greedily, reaching for a brownie and took a big bite. She closed her eyes in bliss. If heaven existed, it would be made of baked goods.

Edward snorted which made her open her eyes. He didn't leave as she chewed on the rest of the brownie. They watched the football team continue their practice like the two of them did this together all the time. They just awkwardly stood there.

Wanting to break the silence, she said, "Angela told me that Mr. Munroe assigned your class to act out a scene from Shakespeare. What play are you doing?"

" _Romeo and Julie_ t," he answered and she snorted, nearly choking on a bite of brownie. He gave her a look. "What?"

"Never pegged you for the Romeo type," she replied. "I always thought you were more like Hamlet."

"You think I'm so consumed on revenge I go mad and lead my kingdom to ruin?"

"Yep," she answered through bites. "Totally you."

He let out a laugh, deep and husky. It sent shivers up her spine. He seemed surprised as well by his own laughter. Frowning, he looked away.

"Careful, Eddie," she joked. "Your humanity was showing there for a second. God forbid I glimpse what's underneath all that hair gel."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't call me that."

"Oh-kay," she said in sing-song and paused from eating. "I'll deny this if you tell anyone but, um, thanks for saving my life."

"You're welcome," Leaning his head down to meet her gaze better, he remarked, "Try to keep out of danger so I don't have to do it again."

Balancing the tin on one hand, she gave him a salute. "Scout's honor."

She was never a girl scout but he didn't know that. He looked down, his mouth quirking in that ghost of a smile, before he walked off. She watched his tall form disappear out of sight. She still had half of the brownies left over and she needed to eat all of them before getting home.

* * *

After changing out of her volleyball uniform, she made a quick detour to the school library which was minutes away from closing. Finding her way to the American poetry section, she skimmed titles till she found "William Faulkner: Prose and Poetry". It was the same one Edward had been reading back in their Freshman Year. She checked it out and shoved it in her gym bag.

Lauren dropped her off at her house and she ignored the book. She helped her mom make dinner, assisted Emily with her homework, and did her nighttime skincare routine before she let herself go back to her gym bag and pull out the book. Sunny, her old Golden Retriever, bumped her wet nose into Jessica's knee before she jumped on the bed and curled up like a big furry doughnut. Jessica turned on her bedside lamp, peeled back her comforter and got into her bed, leaning against her pillows as she finally began to read.

_The race's splendor lifts her lips, exposes_

_Amid her scarlet smile her little teeth;_

_The years are sand the wind plays with; beneath_

_The prisoned music of her deathless roses._

She stopped and ran her fingers down the words of the yellowing page, mesmerized. These were the kind of books Edward Cullen liked. She knew she was being foolish, searching for something in this book that had no hope of living. She knew this was pointless but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

She spent the whole night reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite thing about writing Twilight fan fiction is people not knowing Edward can read their minds and he can't say anything about it.
> 
> 1\. The story is set in school year 2006-2007. Forgot to mention that in the previous chapter so I am trying my best to make sure my references are within the timeline.
> 
> 2\. The Romeo and Juliet reference is because at Twilight's peak popularity, everyone kept comparing Edward and Bella to Romeo and Juliet when in reality Edward is as fatalistic as Hamlet and Bella is more like Ophelia.
> 
> 3\. The argument Edward and Jessica have is partly inspired by the movie Love Rosie.
> 
> 4\. The poem Jessica was reading is called The Race's Splendor.
> 
> 5\. Chapter title is a play on the children's book 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie' by Laura Numeroff.


	3. An American Werewolf In Forks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica spends time with friends.

The rest of the week was uneventful. Jessica had no more near death experiences and Edward was back to ignoring her existence. Not strictly true, she almost spilled sodium hydroxide on him during lab and he glared at her like she meant it. She wasn't going to sabotage her grade just to give him some chemical burns.

The weekend finally came and she and her friends decided to visit La Push to go surfing. The water would be freezing and the threat of hypothermia was half the fun. Tyler was feeling better since the crash and Mrs. Crowley begrudgingly let him go with strict instructions to take it easy which they all knew he was going to ignore. His van was being repaired which left the boys to ride with Mike and the girls with Lauren. Jessica was a bit miffed to be separated from Mike as she usually spent the car ride trying to get him to notice her.

They arrived at La Push and quickly made their way to the water. Angela who hated being cold but was there as moral support, took a seat on a log and drank cocoa from the thermos she brought. Jessica was the first in the water, bracing herself against the freezing water until she was waist deep. The pain shot through her veins, nearly paralyzing her with the pain but she pushed through it, getting on her board and paddling towards the waves.

She got knocked down after she rode the first wave. Eric got knocked down multiple times while Tyler and Mike tried to drown each other. Lauren was the best surfer among them and was the only one to make it to shore without getting submerged. It was excruciating but fun.

She got out of the water, the wind making her shiver as she jogged towards Angela, dragging her board with her and dropping it down to the sand.

She asked, "Can I have some of that cocoa?"

Angela poured her a cup and handed it to her. Jessica sighed in pleasure as she drunk, it burned her tongue a little but she didn't mind. Angela made cocoa just right, not too sweet and with a slight bitterness. She licked her lips as she finished her cup.

She and Angela both turned as they saw the Quileute boys walking towards them. Puberty hit those boys like a train because the skinny boys they saw over the summer were taller and muscled like professional athletes. Shirtless and wearing only cut-offs, all the tanned skin was almost too much to bear. The tallest of them suddenly stopped, his brown eyes widening in shock before he collapsed to his knees.

Both she and Angela rushed over. The other Quileute boys were worried and hovered over him. Angela went down on her knees and softly asked, "Are you okay?"

He looked up at the sound of her voice, something like awe in his eyes. "You're…you're…"

"Angela," she offered with her friendly smile. "And you are?"

"Jacob," He smiled back brightly. "It's nice to meet you."

The two continued to stare into each other's eyes as if they were the only wo people in the world. Jessica felt like an interloper on a scene she wasn't supposed to witness. She looked to the other Quileute boys who were exchanging knowing smiles with each other. It was as if she was the only one who didn't know about something important that had just occurred.

Jessica cleared her throat. "Hey, Ang, it's getting dark. We should get started on the bonfire."

Angela snapped out of whatever trance she was in and got to her feet. Jacob followed, wiping off the sand on his hands on his cut-offs. Angela turned back to him and asked, "Would you and your friends like to join us? We have s'mores."

His friends started elbowing him with the same knowing grins. He pushed them away and gave Angela that bright smile again. "We'd love to."

The Quileute boys helped them whittle away some sticks for the marshmallows. Jacob and Angela sat together as they made s'mores together. Angela had never looked so flustered and giddy, not even when she talked to Ben Chenney who she'd had a crush on since Sophomore Year. Jessica couldn't hear what they talked about but before they left La Push, she saw Angela write her phone number on Jacob's arm.

On the drive home, Jessica couldn't help herself anymore.

"So, you and Jacob?" she started. "What happened to Ben?"

"He's been dating Katie Marshall since the summer," Angela answered. "And Jacob is nice."

Huh. She didn't remember hearing about Ben and Katie. Then again, the only time she never really talked to either of them. Angela hadn't mentioned anything and she wondered if her friend had been suffering in silence all this time.

Bad friend alert. Jessica was a bad friend. She should've seen it. She had to return her Best Friend title.

"And you're okay with Ben and Katie?" Jessica asked, feeling like a butthole. "I mean, you could've told me and we could've eaten some ice cream and watched _America's Next Top Model_ together."

Angela, ever kind and gracious, just smiled and reassured her, "It's okay. I'm happy for them."

"Besides, she has a new guy now," Lauren finally spoke. "Somebody actually taller than her. He's got to be around seven feet."

"Yes, and we all saw those abs!" Jessica nudged Angela playfully. "Seven feet and all muscled goodness. Angie, you lucky girl!"

Angela covered her face in her hands, flushed red all the way down her neck. "Please stop. We haven't even gone on a date."

"But you didn't see the way he looked at you," she insisted. "It's like that French saying _coup de_ food-"

Angela corrected her softly, " _Coup de foudre._ "

Jessica took freaking German. Whatever.

"What I mean is it was like love at first sight," she explained. "He saw you and he was a goner."

Her friend smiled, hopeful and vulnerable. Angela was the best of them and she took care of them all without asking for anything in return. Whatever jealousy she would've felt in that moment, Jessica pushed to the furthest part of her mind because if anyone deserved love at first sight and happy endings it was Angela Weber. Jacob Black would be the luckiest boy in the world to end up with somebody like her.

"We don't know anything yet," Angela countered. "It could go nowhere."

"We'll see," Jessica had a very good feeling about all of this. "And _when_ you guys get married, I'm the maid-of-honor, right?"

Lauren scoffed. "No way, Stanley. I'm willing to duel you for the job."

Jessica met Lauren's gaze in the rear view mirror and declared, "You're on, Mallory."

* * *

The rest of the week flew by as Homecoming was next weekend. They had a Pep rally on Friday before the football game to announce Homecoming court. Jessica's nomination had excited and freaked her out. She wanted to win but also knew it wasn't an outcome she had zero control over.

She tried to hide her disappointment as Lauren was crowned queen. It made sense. It was all a popularity contest and Jessica was aware that people could find her annoying. "Abrasive" is what the guidance counselor called her once like that was okay to say to a student.

By some surprise turn of events, Edward Cullen was nominated for Homecoming King which made her wonder if they were being serious or if it was a joke. If anybody was "abrasive", it would've been him. He wasn't at the Pep rally though and Mike was crowned king. She would have the added torture of watching one of her best friends dance with the boy she liked at the dance.

She was still part of Homecoming Court which felt like second place and she never enjoyed that. Second place was half-best, not good enough, mediocre. She always strived for more, to be better. But popularity contests weren't something she could strive to be better at. It was just something some people were naturally gifted in and she was…well, she was just herself.

She contemplated skipping Homecoming but Angela persuaded her to go, asking to be her date. She pretended not to stare longingly at Mike as he danced with Lauren. Tyler and Eric danced with her a few times and even both at the same time as they spun her around in a monstrosity of limbs set to _Time of My Life._ Tyler tried to lift her like in the movie _Dirty Dancing_ and nearly dropped her.

Her friends were so weird.

At the end of the night, sticky from sweat and having drank too much punch, she sat with Angela at their table, discarding their painful heels.

She leaned her head on Angela's shoulder, feeling tired and nostalgic. They had been to every dance together all their lives and she felt a nearly crushing feeling in her stomach as she realized this would be one of the last. She and Angela would be in different colleges and there would be no more terrible, wonderful school dances like this. They were nearing the end of something.

"Hey, Ang," she said. "Promise me something?"

"Yes?"

"No matter what, we'll still be friends?" she swallowed, adamantly refusing to cry. "No matter what, you won't leave me behind?"

Angela took her hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly. "Of course we'll always be friends, Jess."

Jessica sighed, that crushing feeling lessened a bit. "Love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

Emily's birthday was the next week and their mom baked Funfetti cake. They sang Happy Birthday and Emily blew out her candles. Jessica got her a CD of the _High School Musical_ soundtrack which she knew her sister would be playing non-stop. She also got her a poster of Zac Efron so her sister could start making a shrine for him.

Not that she blamed her. When the movie had premiered, Jessica had swooned with Angela about Zac Efron. They planned their wedding to him and the name of their future children. Emily had threatened to disown her for trying to steal Troy Bolton from her and didn't talk to her for two days.

"What'd you wish for?" Jessica asked as they ate the cake. "Zac Efron proposing to you?"

"I don't need to wish for that," Emily declared with all the wisdom of a eight-year-old. "That's destiny. You're the one I made a wish for."

"No way. What'd you wish for me?"

"A boyfriend," Her sister gave her a pitying look. "You're not getting any younger, Jessica. You need all the help you can get."

"Okay, squirt. I don't need any help," she protested. "I have a plan."

Emily shook her head. "Waiting for Mike to finally realize he loves you is not a plan."

She spluttered, unable to comprehend her sister talking to her like this. What happened to that sweet little girl who only wanted hugs and to watch the _Tetetubbies_? Who was this demon that took her place? She had half a mind to hide the _High School Musical_ CD.

"There has to be other boys at your school," Emily continued. "Other fish in the river?"

"The sea," she corrected. "And no more talk about boys."

"I was just trying to help," Emily sighed and got up to put away her empty plate. "If you ever need my advice, my door is always open."

Jessica frowned at her sister as she went to her room. She stabbed into the remains of her slice of cake and scoffed. As if she would ever ask love advice from someone who still slept with a nightlight. Her love life was just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Edward in this chapter but we do get some Jacob. No love triangle for this story. I wanted to focus on Jessica and her other relationships in this chapter.
> 
> 1\. Emily Stanley is an original character by me. She is not in the books. I based her on a mix of Ava Morgenstern in Girl Meets World and Rachel Hansen in 500 Days of Summer.
> 
> 2\. High School Musical came out in 2006 and I was in love with Zac Efron. You were too. Don't lie.
> 
> 3\. Dirty Dancing was a film that came out in 1987.
> 
> 4\. Yes, Jessica calling Emily "squirt" is a Finding Nemo reference. Jessica really likes that movie.
> 
> 5\. Chapter title is a play on the 1981 horror film 'An American Werewolf in London'.


	4. Pity Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica goes to parties.

Jessica had to admit that Edward Cullen was a decent lab partner. He wasn't clumsy and didn't spill dangerous liquids or set things on fire. He was effortlessly smart and solved for formulas without once doubting if he made a mistake. He always had the right answer and he looked infuriatingly bored with everything at the same time.

She refused to let him do all the work. She was in AP Chemistry too for a reason. Sure, she needed to double check her formulas and was extra careful during lab experiments but that didn't make him better than her. She wasn't going to just coast on his intelligence and take a grade she didn't earn.

Her parents had taught her the importance of a good work ethic. Her father never took a day off in his life, working overtime and even on holidays. He wanted to give them a good life and worked himself past breaking point until his heart finally gave up on him. She was in middle school and couldn't grasp how her father who she always saw as a man with enough strength and drive to conquer any hurdle thrown at him was defeated.

It terrified her. In ways she couldn't even tell anybody else. They would know what lay underneath her ambition and determination. And it wasn't anything pretty.

"Jessica," Edward said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "Maybe I should do the formula for this one."

"No. You did it last time," she replied briskly. "I'll do the formula and you can do the actual experiment. You're better with the tools anyway."

He didn't say anything at first. He stared at her as she continued to recheck her formula. He could think her stupid or whatever. She didn't care.

"Okay," He acquiesced. "Whatever you say."

They worked quietly for a while. Edward turned on the Bunsen burner and hovered the test tube carefully over it with the clamp. The organic compound was white and looked like powder. It was taking a while to melt.

"Do you ever think about how people have melting points too?" Edward asked, sounding contemplative. "Metaphorically, of course. Everyone's got that moment where they're at the edge and they just want to give in."

"What brought on your existential crisis?" Jessica tried to joke, eyes never leaving the test tube. "Maybe you need to talk to someone, Eddie."

His gaze met her own and there was something like disappointment in them. "Do you know the story of how I was adopted?"

She heard rumors but never heard any of the Cullens actually speak about it. She had thought their family was very odd with the young couple adopting teenagers who were all dating each other. And no one was saying anything about it. The Cullen family's lives before Forks had been a mystery no one had been allowed close enough to try and solve.

"My birth parents died. We all got sick. It was some kind of flu. My father died first and then my mother," Edward didn't wait for her to reply and continued. "Before she died, she begged the doctor to save my life. He succeeded. Then, he decided to adopt me."

She didn't know what to say. What was she supposed to say to that? She had been one of the many that speculated and tried to sensationalize the Cullens for their otherness, not knowing what hidden tragedies they were keeping to themselves. If that was Edward's backstory, were his siblings' just as bad or worse?

"When I was sick, there was a moment I just wanted to give in," Edward looked away, swallowing. "My mother had left me and there seemed no real reason to go on."

"But?"

He met her gaze again, his golden gaze held a deep sadness that made her want to start crying. It was a loss she understood. She watched her father die in the hospital and buried him before Christmas. And nothing in the world made her feel better, only distracted her, even as the sorrow lurked underneath her skin for always.

"I don't know. I still kept living," he scoffed softly, shaking his head. "I guess even when we're at the breaking point, there's still a way to keep going."

As they watched the organic compound reach its melting point, she wondered about her own limits. Her father had reached his and it cost him everything. She wondered what hers was and how close she was from it. And even if she was there, no one knew or had to know.

* * *

Jessica's savings were dwindling with all the birthdays she was celebrating. Angela's birthday came and they had a little party for her at the Webers' house. She and her mom helped Mrs. Weber bake a three-tier birthday cake. Emily played with Angela's twin brothers, Joshua and Isaac, who let themselves be bossed around and help with decorating the living room for the party. Mike and Tyler worked on a birthday banner that had uneven lettering but nobody said anything about it.

Angela was on her first real date with Jacob and wasn't back till the afternoon. When Jacob's Volkswagen Rabbit pulled up in the drive way, they closed the lights and hid as the two made their way inside the house. They all jumped up yelling "surprise!" as the lights went on, startling Angela who was staring at them wide-eyed and clutching her heart. They practically pounced on her with greetings and hugs.

"We know you hate surprises but we know you also want cake," Mike explained. "And we knew you would choose cake any day."

Angela was smiling widely, eyes misting up. "It's a good surprise."

"And speaking of cake," Jessica and Lauren carried the cake monstrosity over. It had buttercream frosting and she had been so tempted and hungry the whole time. "Check out this puppy."

They all ate cake and gave Angela her presents. Jessica had found a nice oak jewelry box from the thrift store, repainted it a deep red and varnished it. Growing up with not a lot of money, she was very good at DIY-ing presents. Angela was always very appreciative of everything she received.

Her best friend hugged her. "Thank you, Jess. It's beautiful."

"You're welcome," she replied before saying in a whisper. "You're gonna give us the details about He-Man later, right?"

Angela pulled away, blushing. She clutched on to the pendant she was wearing and Jessica finally noticed that it was a wooden wolf head the size of a dime and carved with great care.

"Pretty," Jessica remarked. "Is that new?"

Before the brunette could answer, Jacob leaned down and whispered something in her ear and the two were lost in their own little world. There was an easy intimacy with how close they were sitting together, Jacob's arm around her waist as he whispered into Angela's ear. She laughed softly at whatever he said and he gave her his bright smile. Jessica felt oddly bereft at the display.

"That was fast," Lauren told her in a low voice only they could hear. "Not even a month and they're already smitten."

"Some people just have it easy, I guess," Jessica took a big bite of cake, eyes straying to where Mike was laughing at the photos Eric took of the party. "Some of us have to work for it."

"Lucky them," Lauren leaned back into her chair. "Poor us."

Jessica knew she sounded petty and jealous. She was happy for Angela, really. But she wanted what her friend had. She wanted someone to whittle something for her or spoon feed her cake. And she began to wonder if Emily was right and she did need that birthday wish.

Pathetic.

* * *

Emily wasn't too old for trick-or-treating yet and after agreeing to share her candy haul with Jessica, she agreed to chaperone her sister as their mom refused to let Emily go alone. Mike was throwing a Halloween party later that night so she had some time to accompany Emily around the neighborhood. Emily wanted to go as a witch and her costume was just a witch's hat and a black dress. Jessica decided to go as a sexy vampire.

In truth, she was just a vampire in a mini skirt, a black _Dracula_ cape with red lining she needed to cut as it had been too long for her, and awful vampire teeth she got from Dollar Plus. Her and her friends had all decided to go as classic horror movie monsters. Tyler was going as a zombie, Eric was a mummy, Lauren was a werewolf, and Jacob and Angela were going as Frankenstein's monster and his Bride.

After Emily collected more candy than any child would ever need, Jessica dropped her back to the house and Lauren picked her up. They were all carpooling together for the party except for Jacob and Angela who were going in his car. They had to pick up Tyler last who was at the hospital for the staff's kids party that he insisted on going to every year for the candy despite how old he was.

Jessica volunteered to get Tyler as Eric's mummy bandages kept getting caught on doors. She found her way to the cafeteria where the party was, trying to find Tyler's tall form in the sea of children. She stopped in surprise to see Rosalie Hale dressed up as Sleeping Beauty surrounded by a group of children who she was patiently leading in a game of musical chairs. Nearby, Emmett Cullen dressed like a prince helping a blindfolded little girl pin the tail on a cardboard donkey.

"Jessica," She turned to find Edward dressed in a skeleton sweatshirt, carrying a big bucket of candy. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm…what are you doing here?"

"My dad works here. We help out with the party every year," he explained then looked over her appearance. She'd traded her usual headbands for pigtails and red lipstick. "What are you supposed to be?"

She smiled showing off the vampire teeth that gave her a lisp when she talked. "Sexy vampire."

He snorted. "I think you're at the wrong party. Even if you meet the height limit."

"Ha-ha. Laugh it up, Cullen," She looked around the room. "Have you seen Tyler? I'm picking him up for Mike's party."

"Mike's party?"

Whoops. He wouldn't have been invited and neither any of his siblings. People stopped trying to invite them to things in Freshman Year since none of them ever said yes. Still, it did seem awfully rude considering everyone else was invited.

"It's just a small get-together," she tried to lie. "Just a few of us-"

He cut her off. "No need to spare my feelings, Jessica. I get it."

This was awkward. He didn't seem hurt but she had learned over the past week that she didn't know that much about Edward Cullen. Whatever glimpses of humanity she'd seen in him recently disconcerted her and she wasn't sure how to act around him. Except for when he was being a butthole which thankfully hadn't disappeared completely or she would suspect he'd been abducted by aliens.

"Tyler left about a minute ago," Edward told her. "Try the nurse's station on the second floor."

"Oh, thanks."

She turned to leave but stopped herself. She looked at him again. Here he was spending his Halloween helping throw a party for a bunch of kids he didn't know and he wasn't complaining. First, the talk in Chemistry and now this, he needed to stop surprising her.

"Hey, Edward," she said. "You have a nice night."

He stared at her underneath the nauseating changing lights in the canteen, his face illuminated in blue and red. He looked like a creature of the night. And not the fake one she was pretending to be. Then, he smiled and she was wrecked.

Edward Cullen on a regular basis was attractive. Scowling and impassable, there was still no denying it but smiling Edward was too much for her to take.

"Thanks, Jessica," he returned. "I'll see you on Monday."

"Yeah," Her mind was stuttering out syllables but she didn't comprehend them. "See you."

She finally left the canteen and was able to locate Tyler. He had smuggled out a whole backpack filled with candy. They made it to Mike's party and her mind was still preoccupied with what happened at the hospital. Mike greeted them, wearing his Leatherman's jacket.

"Dude, we agreed on costumes," Eric protested. "What is this?"

"Wait, wait," Mike turned his head to show off two sloppily drawn dots on his neck. He probably used a Sharpie. "I'm a vampire victim."

She smiled at him, pleased and hopeful. "Was that for me?"

His boyish smile gave her those familiar butterflies. "Of course, Jess."

Flustered and giddy, she forgot all about any other confusing boys. They found Angela and Jacob were already there, both looked freakish with Angela's hair sprayed to stand up in a parody of Marge Simpson's hair and Jacob's face painted green. He cocked his eyebrow at Lauren's costume which was just some fluffy wolf ears and a little black dress. Lauren ignored him and pulled Jessica away to dance with her.

The night ended with Eric tripping over his bandages and nearly breaking his neck as he tried to walk down the stairs. Jacob saved his life by grabbing onto the back of his shirt. Tyler shared his candy haul with Jessica and they ate chocolate like they were little kids again. Cavities be danged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my previous story, I was kinda sad that I didn't get to include Jacob becoming part of the human gang and now I have the chance. Are you guys liking the story so far? A little feedback would be cool. Anything you wanna see happen?
> 
> 1\. Canonically, Edward and his birth parents died of the Spanish Flu in 1918 (which is topical now). Wash your hands please.
> 
> 2\. Jessica's parents and their jobs aren't really mentioned in Twilight so I can pretty much do what I want with them. Jessica's father died of a heart attack in this story.
> 
> 3\. Jessica's costume choices are inspired from when I was in second grade, I went as a vampire for Halloween and had these awful plastic teeth that would fall out when I tried to talk. Tyler's backpack of candy was inspired by a friend of mine at my first job who smuggled out candy that way.
> 
> 4\. Chapter title is from a Melanie Martinez song.


	5. Cullen's Anatomy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob is too hot. Hot dang.

Every kid in Forks had been to the Forks Timber Museum at least twice. It was the go-to field trip destination for schools as it didn't require them to plan an out of town trip. If there was a budget, they might shell out for any of the other museums in Anacortes or Tacoma and even the Space Needle in Seattle. More often than not, the Timber Museum was where they ended up. When it was announced that the Seniors were going on a special field trip, they all looked at each other and knew where they were going.

Angela was the best field trip buddy by far. She packed snacks and a lunch to share, brought plenty of water, and gave over complete control of what songs to listen to on the iPod shuffle. She never took up too much space on the seat and always smelled like lavender too. This was why Lauren, the selfish monster that she was, grabbed Angela and claimed her before they got on the bus.

Jessica was left stranded. Eric had food poisoning from a questionable taco and wasn't at school so Tyler and Mike were sitting together. She made her way down the bus aisle, looking for an empty spot. Everyone was paired up already and she frowned as she realized her fate.

Of course, she would have to sit with the class loner nobody liked. Like Medusa, people avoided eye contact with Edward Cullen lest they get turned to stone from his glare. Bracing herself and cursing her luck, she wordlessly took the seat beside him as he stared out the window. Taking out her iPod and earphones, she resolved to listen to music and ignore him.

Angela and Lauren were seated a few seats ahead of them. She made eye contact with Angela who mouthed, "Okay?"

She nodded as she plugged in her earphones and pressed play on her iPod. She slouched in her seat and glared at nothing. The drive was quick, not even lasting ten minutes before they finally arrived at what looked like an old house. The statue of two men sawing a large rock with the _Forks Timber Museum_ sign greeted them.

They got into line entering the museum, slowly walking through while the museum's operator told them about the history of logging in their town. Old tools, some rusting were placed reverently on the walls like the antiques that they were. They walked up to the firewatch tower that was meant to appear like a small house on the inside with the bedroom with the bunk beds and the kitchen with the metal stove complete with fake pancakes. Mike and Tyler tried to grab an ugly doll with orange hair prompting a reprimand from Mr. Ortiz.

Edward lumbered beside her, looking bored with everything and for once she agreed with him. Nothing had changed much since their last visit there which was back in Freshman Year. Nostalgia saddened her more than anything. This might be one of the last times she would be forced to this dang museum.

Back in Freshman Year, she and Angela had stared at the fake pancakes and debated over pancakes and waffles before both declaring that crepes were disappointing and useless. Lauren and Mike were dating at the time and he joked about buying the firewatch tower so they could get married and raise future kids there. Lauren had rolled her eyes at Mike while Jessica pretended she wasn't dying on the inside. She remembered wanting to jump off the tower and ending it all cause she feared Mike Newton would never return her feelings.

Was it depressing that not much had changed since then? She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. Why was it the boys that she liked didn't like her back? Was she that insufferable?

Edward snorted. She aimed her glare at him as if he could understand what she was thinking. He had this weird thing of reacting with perfect timing. He was such a butthole. She wished he would retreat to a tower in the middle of nowhere and stay there. Not like anyone was going to miss him.

* * *

Lauren was moodier than normal which was saying something as the blonde's natural state was angry at the world. She snapped at everyone for any little thing. It got to the point they were all awkwardly sitting there in silence during lunch afraid to set her off. Her mood didn't seem to improve throughout the week and she finally landed herself in detention for fighting with poor Katie Marshall during volley back practice. Couch had threatened to take her off the team.

Even Angela who was good at calming her down didn't know what to do. They talked about Lauren and what could be going on with her over the phone, theorizing from severe PMS to Lauren slowly turning into the Hulk. They decided to give Lauren some space and let her come to them to talk about was going on with her when she was ready. The blonde liked to keep things close to the chest until she couldn't anymore. They just had to wait it out.

On Monday morning, Lauren wasn't at school. She texted them that she wasn't feeling well and she had a fever. They told her to rest and get better soon. Jessica and Angela carpooled with Tyler and they ate the batch of chocolate chip cookies that had been for Lauren's birthday.

Jessica knew they didn't need to worry. Lauren would go to the hospital if her fever got worse and her parents had great health insurance. It did feel a bit odd because as far as she remembered, Lauren never got sick before in her life. Her friend had been proud of her ironclad immune system and said it was proof that she was tough as heck.

Angela remembered that Lauren's parents were out of town as they frequently left Lauren to her devices most of the time. The longest record had been for two months. Lauren was very independent and never complained about her parents' absence. Still, her being alone when she was ill did not sit well for either Jessica or Angela. They resolved to bring her some of her favorite pork dumpling soup after school.

Tyler dropped them off at the Webers' house and she helped Angela with the soup. She was on chopping duty while Angela worked on the dumplings. After packing up the soup, they got some medicine in case Lauren forgot in her sick state. Angela had called Jacob for a ride and she gave him directions to Lauren's house.

The Mallorys' house was near Highway 101, a large nicely furnished six bedroom redwood house with a back patio that overlooked a large garden. The house used to be a bed and breakfast before the family that used to run it went bankrupt and had to sell it. It had sat empty and on the market until Lauren's parents relocated them from Seattle to Forks. It was a house too big for a family of three, especially as it usually only housed one teenage girl.

They tried texting Lauren that they were coming over but there was no reply. When they arrived at her house, they tried ringing the door bell and knocking on the door but there was no answer. Making their way to Lauren's bedroom window, they knocked on the glass calling out to her but there was still nothing. Jessica tried calling Lauren but there was no answer.

"Maybe she's not home?" Angela suggested. "It's not the first time she's ignored texts."

Jacob cocked his head slightly in a way that reminded her of Sunny when she was trying to listen better. "I'm pretty sure somebody is home."

Jessica frowned at her phone and put it away. "I know where the emergency key is. This counts as an emergency, right?"

Angela looked unsure but her worry over Lauren overcame any doubts of the wrongs of technically breaking into someone's house. Jessica made her way to the garden at the back and looked for the lone gnome statue. She had gifted it to Lauren as a joke a previous Christmas. The blonde used to joke Jessica looked like one of Santa's elves because of her height.

At the gnome's feet was a bowl filled with stones that Lauren collected whenever she was out of town. Jessica moved the stones around until she found the key hidden there. She showed off her find and went to the backdoor of the house, the lock giving way and finally letting them in. They rushed to Lauren's bedroom and stopped at the doorway to find the blonde asleep on her bed.

Angela hovered over Lauren and checked her temperature with her palm and pulled away quickly. "She's burning up."

Jessica knelt beside the bed to look over her. Lauren was sweating, the sheets soaked underneath her. Her breathing was labored. Her blonde hair was wet and sticking to her flushed skin.

Jessica insisted, "We should get her to the hospital."

Jacob came over and they wordlessly moved out of the way so she could pick her up in his arms. Lauren looked so small and helpless in his big arms. Jacob hoisted her higher and leaned her closer to him for balance. She moaned in discomfort.

"Too hot," Her blonde eyebrows furrowed. "Make it go away."

"Sorry," Jacob replied almost sheepishly. "Can't help it."

They made their way to the car. Angela opened doors for Jacob so he could easily move about. Jessica locked the doors behind them and pocketed the key for now. Jessica got into the back seat first, letting Lauren use her lap as a pillow. Angela told Jacob to drive fast.

* * *

Neither Jessica nor Angela knew where Lauren's parents were. The Mallorys had named Angela's mom, Mrs. Weber as their emergency contact and she was able to call them and inform them of what happened to Lauren. They were in Chicago and a blizzard had effectively left them stranded in the city till it let up. Angela and Jessica sat in the waiting area as they waited for news on Lauren's health.

Jacob looked remorseful as he told Angela, "I have rounds. I can't stay longer. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Angela replied. "You have other responsibilities and we're fine here."

"I can come back after."

"Okay," Angela nodded. "I'll be waiting."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead and murmured, "I'll see you later, Ang."

Angela wilted a bit as he left, withdrawing more into herself like a sunflower waiting for the sunrise. She sat down beside Angela on the stuffed hospital chair and waited. Dr. Cullen came out of Lauren's hospital room and explained to them that Lauren's fever had gone down but they were still observing for changes. Slightly relieved, they wanted to stay at the hospital all night but Mrs. Weber told them both to go home as it was a school night.

Angela wanted to wait for Jacob to come back and Jessica decided to go get them some coffee so they didn't pass out in the meantime. She found a coffee machine near the nurse's station and squinted at the selection. Feeding the machine some change, she pressed on the button and nothing happened.

"You need to press it more than once," Edward appeared out of nowhere, nearly making her jump. "The button's kinda loose and they keep forgetting to have it fixed."

She clutched at her poor startled heart. "Cheese and rice, Edward. Are you always here? Do you not have a home?"

He rolled his eyes. "Sort of. I'm my dad's ride so I spend too much time here."

Pressing again on the button, the machine started to move and gave her a cup of coffee. She picked it up and took a grateful sip, feeling a little bit more human again. It wasn't the best coffee she'd ever had but it would do. She gave the machine more coins and ordered a cup for Angela.

"I heard about Lauren," Edward started. "You must be worried about her."

"Yeah. That's what friends do."

She picked up both coffee cups and made her waiting area. Angela had fallen asleep and was now curled up on the couch like a very big cat. She placed the coffee down on the table gently and sat on the armchair nearby. Edward had followed her and leaned on the wall.

He asked, "Did they say what was wrong with Lauren?"

"Pneumonia apparently," She shrugged. "They're still 'observing' or whatever."

He nodded, unperturbed by her briskness. "She's going to be fine."

Exhausted and wrung out, she had no patience for whatever show of humanity he was trying at that moment. "And how do you know that?"

"Because my dad is a good doctor," he replied, matter-of-fact. "She's in capable hands."

She was reminded of him telling his adoption story and how Dr. Cullen was able to save him from some life-taking flu. It gave her some comfort to know Lauren was being cared of and maybe she would be fine. It was better than expecting the worst and freaking herself out. It was just weird that she was receiving comfort from Edward Cullen the Ice King.

His lips gave the ghost of a smile and she resented the fluttering in her belly. Those had no business existing.

"I'll see you in class, Jessica," he told her as he turned to leave. "Try to get some sleep."

"Thanks, Cullen."

She drank the rest of her coffee and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is up with Lauren? Is Edward stalking Jessica or is it just a coincidence they keep running into each other? Is it stalking or destiny? All will be revealed in due time.
> 
> 1\. The Forks Timber Museum is a real place.
> 
> 2\. The Medusa joke is from Glee.
> 
> 3\. The Santa's elves thing is a reference to Anna Kendrick being in that Christmas film Noelle.
> 
> 4\. Chapter title is a play on the TV show 'Grey's Anatomy'.


	6. Secrets Keep Us Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica has found Edward's weakness.

The Mallorys were able to fly back to Forks on Tuesday. Lauren's fever had broken and she was recovering. Her parents brought her home and Angela came over the next day to give Lauren her homework. Jessica sent texts to Lauren to get better after Angela told her the blonde was looking better and might be back in school by next week.

Jessica's mom had to take the Saturday shift at her office so she had to babysit Emily for the day. Feeling restless, Jessica wanted to get out of the house. Normally, she would've called Angela to see if she was free but more often than not her best friend was with her boyfriend doing couple-y things. Not wanting to cook lunch, she dragged Emily to Home Slice for some pizza.

The fact that Mike liked to hang out there with the guys to read the comic books in the game room was just an added incentive. Unfortunately, Mike wasn't there that Saturday much her to disappointment. She ended up playing Uno with Emily and demolishing a whole pizza together. They switched over to Scrabble after Jessica decided the rage they both felt from playing Uno was unhealthy to their sisterly bond.

Emily asked, "Did my birthday wish come true?"

"I don't know. Is there a way to check if those work?" It wasn't like wishes on birthday candles had empirical data she could check on. "And abbreviations aren't allowed, squirt."

Her sister frowned and removed the letters she was placing down on the board. "I meant do you finally have a boyfriend?"

"Not that it's any of your business but no," Jessica placed down a triple score word on the board. "Besides, I have other things to worry about."

"Like the fact that you're graduating high school single?" Emily added a letter to Jessica's previous word. "Mike is cute but he's not Zac-Efron-cute."

" _Nobody_ is Zac-Efron-cute. He was made in a lab somewhere."

"The point is that you are ruining any chances at love by clinging unto Mike," The eight-year-old made a pitying tsk. "You know that deep down inside that he will never return your feelings and so you focus on him instead of letting yourself find true love and possibly get hurt."

Disturbed by what her younger sister was telling her, Jessica narrowed her eyes at her. "Have you been reading mom's _Cosmopolitan_ magazines again? Because you know mom said you were too young."

Emily looked panicked. "No."

"Emily."

"I didn't!"

"Uh-huh," She took the last slice from the tray and bit into it. "I'm telling mom and you're gonna be in so much trouble."

Her sister pouted and pushed the Scrabble board way and the letters flew from their places, scattered on the table. "I take my wish back. I hope you're single forever."

They made their way home just after the sunset. Jessica made sure to bundle Emily in a thick scarf and winter coat as they walked through the chilly dark streets. Their house was a mile away but if they brisk walked they should be home before their mom arrived for dinner. They passed by the Webers' house when Jessica saw something moving past the circle of hemlock trees.

She stopped, peering into the darkness to see better. There was some light from the Webers house but not enough to make out whatever was in those trees. Emily noticed she wasn't following her and came over. The eight-year-old did a little jig, her arms wrapped around herself, to show she was cold.

"Jess, come on," she whined. "I'm so cold."

Jessica ignored her and moved closer to the trees. The light coming from the Webers' house hit at the right moment and she saw a pair of large brown eyes staring at her. She could make out a silhouette of a large animal and froze. Only one thing could be that size.

She stepped back and grabbed Emily's hand and made a run for it.

"Jess!" Emily cried out. "What's wrong?"

She exclaimed. "There's a freaking bear!"

They ran as fast as they could, not looking back to see if they were being followed.

* * *

Jessica and Emily just arrived at their house, out of breath and feeling like they were about to pass out when their mom arrived, her car pulling into the garage. Their mom had been surprised as they explained Jessica saw a bear and insisted on calling Animal Control.

"Are you sure it was a bear, Jess?" her mom asked. "They usually don't go this near into town."

"I know what I saw!" Jessica insisted. "It was by Angie's house and…"

She froze as she realized that Angela and her family were in danger. She needed to warn them. Running to her room, she took out her phone and dialed Angela's number and waited for someone to pick up. It picked up after two rings.

"Hello-"

"Angie!" Jessica practically yelped. "There's a bear outside your house!"

"A bear?" Angela echoed. "What do you mean?"

"I was passing by your street and I saw it! It was huge!" She paced back and forth, nearly bouncing on her feet with anxiety. "You're in danger. You need to call Animal Control and get them over there-"

"Um, there's no need for that," Angela let out a nervous laugh. "I think we're gonna be okay."

"This isn't a joke, Angela," Jessica was appalled with how uncaring her friend was with her and her family's safety. "If the bear decides to climb into your bedroom window and eat you, what would you do? Offer it soup?"

There was a loud deep laugh. Angela was shushing someone. Jessica paused. The laugh didn't stop, if anything it got louder.

"Is that Jacob?" Jessica asked. "Is he in your bedroom with you?"

"No!" Angela sounded panicked. "Of course not. My mom would kill me."

"Well, _who_ is with you?"

There was silence.

Jessica waited.

Angela sighed. "It's Jacob."

"As much as I'm proud of you for that," she continued. "Jacob is a big guy but he's no match for a bear."

Jacob was laughing again. Jessica had half a mind to hang up and call Animal Control herself.

"We're going to be okay," Angela tried to reassure her. "We'll stay indoors and I'm sure that bear won't be hanging around our house for a while."

Jacob went quiet.

"I still think we should call Animal Control," Jessica wanted to pull her hair out. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing will," Her best friend pressed on gently. "And if I think that bear is really a danger to us, I'll call Animal Control myself."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay," That lessened her worry about Jessica still felt dizzy from the rush of earlier panic. She lied down on her bed. "Love you. See you on Monday?"

"Love you too," Angela replied. "I'll see you on Monday."

Sunny's wet nose bumped against her knee and she smiled. Sitting up, she started petting her dog's golden fur. Sunny gave her a doggy smile as Jessica gave her a kiss on her forehead. Her dog always seemed to know when she needed comfort and gave it without having to be asked.

"Good girl," Jessica cooed. "You'd defend me from any bears, girl? You'd fight any monster for me, wouldn't you?"

Sunny wagged her tail and Jessica patted the bed to get her to jump up. The Golden Retriever curled up beside her and Jessica hugged her. She felt her anxieties start to melt away as she cuddled with her dog. Sunny deserved a treat.

* * *

Lauren was back to school on Monday. There was an exhaustion that was present in her every moment. She looked thinner, the remaining baby fat in her cheeks melting off to show off her sharp cheek bones. With the dark circles under her eyes and her wan complexion, she looked eerily like one of the Cullens except she lacked that impartiality that kept people at bay.

Lauren was still angry, blunt, and fearless. Jessica was relieved to see her and pulled her into a hug.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," Jessica told her. "You're not allowed to get sick ever again."

Lauren pulled away, her tired smiling never dropping. "I'll work on that, Stanley."

Angela came over hesitantly, clutching unto her textbooks to her chest. "Hi, Lauren."

"Hi, Angela."

There was an awkward silence that came after that. Jessica looked between her two friends and wondered what was going on. It was like something happened in the past week she was not privy to. She was about to start asking questions why they were acting so weird when the bell rang.

They all parted for their classes and Jessica made her way to the Chemistry classroom. She took her seat and contemplated what could've happened last week to cause tension. Angela never fought with anybody. She was the peacemaker and Lauren was protective of her. It was in moments like this she wished she could read minds.

Edward snorted. She ignored him.

She didn't have Angela's perceptiveness for people's feelings. She needed to work on it and sometimes she lacked the patience. People were just so complicated. Why couldn't they say what they mean and mean what they say? Instead, there were all these mind games and layers of deceit and confusion.

"You ever think about what the world would be like if people were less inhibited?" Edward prompted. "What if people said _exactly_ what they were thinking?"

"Societies crumbling," she answered. "The apocalypse, maybe."

"They'd probably just talk about sex."

She paused. His eyes widened as he realized the words that he uttered. She had never seen someone get flustered without their face going red but Edward managed. He looked away, running his hand apprehensively through his hair.

"Edward," she started. "Did you just say that all people would talk about ,if they said what they were thinking, would be sex?"

He nodded, still not looking at her. "Yes. I realize I did say that."

"Does that mean you're thinking about sex all the time?"

She delighted at the look on his face. His golden eyes were wide and his mouth hung open in horror. She inwardly cackled at finally breaking Edward Cullen. She found his weakness.

"I'm…" He shook his head. "I don't think about _that_ all the time."

"No shame, Cullen," she replied, trying to be nonchalantly but still sadistically enjoying this. "Everybody does it."

"Does what?" he asked. "Thinking or the…the…"

"The two person push up? Bumping uglies?" she suggested. "Sliming the banana?"

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his noise, exasperated. "Can we just forget this conversation?"

"That could also work. 'Forgetting the conversation'," She nodded, too innocently. "Let's get straight to the penetrat-"

He cut her off. "Okay. You've made your point, Jessica."

She cackled inside her head like a lunatic and grinned widely at him. He was shaking his head as he tried to find his composure again.

* * *

Lauren drove them home, insisting she was fine to drive. Jessica sat in the back seat staring at her two friends who were still madly in awkward. She would need to ask them what was going on before they reached Angela's house and there was chance of escape. She moved closer to be able to practically be in between them.

"So, what happened?" she asked. "You two can't even look at each other."

"Nothing happened," Lauren kept her gaze on the road. "Everything is fine."

"Then why are you two not talking to each other?"

"There's nothing much to talk about," Angela tried to deflect. "We've been busy these days with Thanksgiving coming up."

Angela was the worst liar. She could not lie to save her life. Her expression gave her away. Her doe eyes were shining with panic and guilt.

"Which translates to – yes, something is wrong," Jessica turned to Lauren. "I thought you were sick last week. When did you have time to fight with each other?"

Lauren countered, "We're not fighting."

"Is it a boy?" They both went silent. She gaped at them. "It is, isn't it?"

They both tried to protest, talking over each other with excuses but Jessica was having none of it.

"Do you like Jacob?" she demanded. "You have a crush on Angie's man? Have you no respect for the girl code, Mallory?"

"It's not like that," Lauren protested. "I want nothing to do with him."

"Did he make a move on you?"

"No!" Angela interjected. "Jacob would never do something like that."

"Then _what_ is the problem?"

They both went quiet again. The tension in the car so thick she could cut it up and turn it into little tension cupcakes. She waited for one of them to start explaining. Neither of them seemed to be budging.

"Why can't you tell me?" Jessica demanded. "I'm your friend. We tell each other everything."

Angela looked apologetic. "We can't."

"Why not?"

"We just can't," Lauren was adamant and annoyed. "Just drop it, Jess."

She wanted to protest more and point out that _she_ told them everything. That they didn't keep secrets from each other like this and the fact they were leaving her out made her feel insignificant and small. It felt like middle school all over again and here was the new girl, Lauren, from Seattle who Mike had a crush on instead of her and who Angela wanted to replace her with as her best friend. She was just loud, annoying, know-it-all Jessica Stanley who no one really liked and was replaceable with a better prettier girl.

She leaned back into her seat and refused to cry. She bit her tongue and kept the tears at bay. She would _not_ cry. The rest of the ride home nobody spoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this even slow burn? Slow burn isn't this slow, is it? Glacial pacing ffeels more accurate.
> 
> 1\. The line about Zac Efron being made in a lab is a reference to the film Neighbours. 
> 
> 2\. I did not know 'sliming the banana' was a euphemism and it's hilarious.
> 
> 3\. There was jealousy when it comes to Jessica and Lauren's relationship. They have moved past that and are good friends but the feelings have stayed with Jessica and fed into her insecurities. Unfortunately, we can't help but compare ourselves to others.
> 
> 4\. Chapter title is from Doctor Who when Eleven tells Clara, "Secrets protect us. Secrets keep us safe."


	7. Sweater Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward gives Jessica a ride home.

Jessica was upset at both her best friends which was zero fun because that left her with no one to talk to about them. She was not that close enough to Eric or Tyler to tell them about how she was feeling. Mike always said he was too busy to hang out with her. And having to keep all the hurt inside of herself put her in a bad mood.

Everything felt too similar to middle school. Lauren had just moved to Forks and she was the shiny, new girl everyone wanted to get to know. Mike kept flirting with her and telling her she was the prettiest girl he ever saw. Angela became friends with her and invited her to have lunch with them.

Jessica hated Lauren. She was tall, skinny, and blonde. She was smart without having to try so much in their classes. She lived in a big house and could afford brand new jeans. And despite having everything, Lauren was _mean_.

She made fun of Jessica's height, how her voice would became shrill when she was excited or upset, and how she always had to answer every question in class. She saw all of Jessica's flaws and pointed them out to everyone for everyone to see. She flirted with Mike in front of Jessica and she would snub Jessica and talk only to Angela. And she did all of this with a too bright smile with perfect teeth and Jessica wanted desperately to punch her in the face.

Then Jessica's father died. Had a stroke and a heart attack while he was at work and he was gone within a day. Jessica waited in the hospital all night for him to wake up but he never did. And she didn't know what to do.

They had to bury him quickly before the ground was too frozen or he would be in a fridge at the funeral home till spring. She had to wear an old dress of her mother's that was too big as she watched the coffin being lowered to the ground. All her friends came and Angela held her hand throughout the whole thing. They were lingering in the cemetery when she saw Lauren coming over.

Rage broke through the cocoon of shock that had been wrapped around her and she came at Lauren, Angela following her.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded. "You weren't invited."

Lauren's blue eyes widened in shock. "I know. I just wanted to-"

"Pay your respects?" she scoffed. " _Right_. I don't need your mean girl bitchiness today. You can do what the fuck you want to me at school but not here and not today."

Angela tried reason with her. "Jess, I don't think that's why she's-"

Lauren cut her off. "I'm not here for that. I know I've been kind of an asshole to you but-"

"Understatement."

"-I'm sorry," The blonde continued. "I'm sorry for how I treated you and I'm sorry about your dad."

"Why? You didn't kill him."

There was silence.

They would never know who broke first but one of them smiled and then they were both laughing at the absurdity of it all. For once, Jessica didn't see Lauren's laugh as condescending. Lauren was just another girl who was in a new environment and was trying to find her footing and it wasn't like Jessica had been too kind to her as well. They'd both been mean to each other and decided they were enemies for no substantial reason.

"I'm sorry for being a butthole to you," Jessica said. "I thought you were trying to replace me with my friends."

Angela interjected. "That would never happen, Jess. We all love you."

"I don't want to replace anyone," Lauren explained. "I just want friends."

"You have friends. You're one of us now."

That's how she and Lauren Mallory became friends. Lauren would always be a little too mean but it was directed more at other people that deserved it. She was the shield that wasn't afraid to fight anyone that preyed on any weakness in her friends. And she was honest to a fault.

Except for now when she was keeping secrets and not speaking to Angela. There they all were sat at their lunch table and Angela and Lauren avoided eye contact. The boys were blathering on about sports and Megan Fox and oblivious to the tension among the girls. She supposed ignorance really was bliss.

Neither of her friends was budging and telling her what was going on. She hated being on the outside and she hated not knowing. And if they weren't going to tell her things then they weren't going to have her company. Fair was fair.

She pushed away her half empty plate of pasta and stood up. She didn't say anything as she left the cafeteria. She would be fine on her own. And they could just miss her.

* * *

Going to the supermarket at the last minute on Thanksgiving was not high on Jessica's list of fun things to do for the holiday. Her mom had sent her off to get some ingredients she forgot and Jessica was stuck in line for half a lifetime. On her way home, she got a flat tire and couldn't call for help as her phone had no signal during this storm that came out of nowhere. Resolved to walk home, she took out her umbrella and braced herself to march through the rain and wind.

Before her dad passed away, they would make the drive from Forks to Portland every year for Thanksgiving. They would stay at her grandparents' house and she would help cook Thanksgiving dinner with all their relatives in the perpetually crowded kitchen. She would hang out with her cousins and they would play pranks on each other. Her Nana would make her favorite sweet potatoes with marshmallows and she would eat all of it till she was so full she felt that she would burst.

After middle school, they stopped going because the long drive was too exhausting for her mother and plane tickets were a luxury. Her grandparents would mail photos and she would talk to them over the phone. She and her mom would make a small dinner and they always tried to make the sweet potatoes like Nana's but it was never quite right. And on really bad days, Jessica missed her dad so much she would watch her dad's favorite movie _Singing in the Rain_.

It was the only thing that could cheer her up. However, in that moment, walking in the rain and frozen to the bone, Jessica didn't feel like singing, she felt like stabbing someone. A strong gust of wind nearly pushed her off her feet and her umbrella gave way until it was just a bundle of metal and polyester.

"Seriously," she hissed, wanting to give the middle finger to the sky. "What did I ever do to you?"

She closed her eyes, bowing her head in defeat. The rain wasn't letting up and she was probably going to get sick from this. Her converses were soaked through and she dropped her useless umbrella to the ground. She was so tired and angry and fed up with everything.

She didn't even want to cry. She wanted to scream. She opened her mouth and let out the loudest scream she could until her throat hurt. Thunder answered her back and she shouted more at the sky, every dirty swear word that would've made her Nana put soap in her mouth.

"This is fucking not okay!" she shrieked. "Have I not had enough lately? What else are you gonna do? Hit me with lightning?"

Thunder rumbled.

"Because you know what? Go on and do it!" She opened her arms wide, daring it to hit her. "I'm all for it, you cloudy fuck!"

She was so caught up in letting the sky have it that she didn't notice the silver Volvo pulling up beside her. She froze and closed her eyes in shame. Of course it would be Edward Cullen to see her break down and shout at the elements like a lunatic. It was always him.

Edward had rolled down his car window and asked nonchalantly, "Am I interrupting something?"

"Nope. Just you know…" She couldn't even come up with a good explanation for her behavior. "My car broke down then my umbrella broke so I was walking and just had to take a break."

"I see," He replied. "Do you need a ride?"

"I'm good."

"Your lips are blue."

"It's a fashion statement."

"Jessica," He sighed and said softly, " _Please_ get in the car. Let's get you home. Your mom must be worried."

Dang it. He had to use the mom card. Her mom would be apoplectic if she didn't get home soon. Resigned, she walked over the passenger side and opened the car.

Edward didn't say anything as she got inside. She took off her sodden backpack filled with groceries and kept it on her lap. He turned up the heat in the car and she closed her eyes in bliss. Slowly, feeling returned to her fingers as he started driving.

* * *

Edward drove carefully through the rain which she was grateful for cause she didn't want to die on Thanksgiving with him of all people. She didn't want to die in general but if she had to go he would not be the one she wanted to go with. She didn't know how the afterlife but if part of the deal was spending eternity with the person you died with then that was a bummer. Eternity with Edward Cullen would be really sad.

He started coughing and she would offer him a mint but she didn't have any.

She asked, "Are you doing last minute supermarket runs too?"

"Actually no," he answered. "I was leaving town."

"Why?"

"I was going to go visit our cousins in Alaska."

"But it's Thanksgiving," She countered. "Don't you want to be with your family?"

"It's not really a big deal," he replied. "And they understand I need to get away for a bit."

That sounded really sad to her. Her mom would kill her if abandoned them on Thanksgiving. Her dad might rise from the grave just to scold her. Emily would give her the silent treatment.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you need to get away?"

"Just trying to escape the weather in Forks."

She raised an eyebrow. "By going to Alaska where it's even colder?"

"Maybe I like the cold," he replied then gave her a look. "And you sound almost concerned there, Jessica. Are you going to miss me?"

She scoffed. "In your dreams, Cullen."

He could go to Alaska and never come back for all she cared. He could go on a date with a polar bear and quote Faulkner at her. They could eat raw fish and watch the aurora borealis. And she would be there in Forks, happy as can be, because she never had to look at his constipated face again.

He snorted then said, "Just between you and me, I think I would miss you."

She could not believe her ears. She might be hallucinating.

"What?"

"I said I would miss you," he returned. "As much as you annoy me, Jessica, I'm never bored around you."

What was she supposed to say to that? It was the nicest thing he had ever said to her. And she never thought that he would ever admit to enjoying her company in any way. A small part of Jessica that was that hopeful girl in Freshman Year was crying in triumph.

Edward Cullen would _miss_ her. He said it aloud with his own mouth and without prompting. And she refused to melt into a puddle of goo. Dang it.

They were finally at her house and he stopped the car. He reached over to the backseat and pulled up a black umbrella. He handed it over to her. He told her, "You can give it back when we see each other again."

"Thanks."

She didn't get out of the car though. She should leave. She should get inside her house and help her mom with the cooking. She didn't move.

"Thank you for the ride," She said, feeling nervous all of a sudden. "That was nice of you."

"You're welcome."

She would relive this moment a lot later. There was something very soft about Edward there in his car, the rain outside cutting them off from the rest of the world. The sun had set and they were at twilight. His golden gaze stared at her like he was memorizing her face. He said he would miss _her_.

She could blame it on the rain and the torrent of emotions from the day but she moved closer to him until she was enveloped in his sweet minty scent. He didn't move, golden irises dropping down to her chapped lips. She licked her lips and closed the distance between them. His lips were cold like rain after a scorching summer and she was too scared to even breathe. It all felt so fragile.

He didn't return the kiss at first and she felt a gnawing ache in her chest. Maybe she misconstrued everything and he didn't want this. She tried to pull away but his hand cupped the back of her head and deepened the kiss. She was getting lightheaded as her lungs screamed at her for air. His lips were gentle, almost revenant, and she had never been kissed like she was worth caring for.

She ended the kiss, finally breathing again, and she refused to open her eyes. His lips kissed her cheek then the corner of her mouth. So gentle. Like he was afraid to break her.

"Jessica," he murmured and she opened her eyes. Like a switch being flipped, his touch melted away and he refused to look at her. "You should get inside."

The gnawing in her chest returned and she realized that he didn't want this. She had force it on him. Stupid, annoying Jessica Stanley thought she could kiss somebody like him and he would want _her_? She must be out of her mind.

"Jessica, that's not…" Did he just growl? "We'll talk when I get back."

When he got back from Alaska. Right. She opened the car door, unfolded the umbrella and stepped out. As soon as the car door closed, the Volvo drove away. Standing there in the rain, she watched the car disappear into the heavy rain until any trace of it was gone.

What the heck just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I plan out stories and sometimes I just go with the flow. This is definitely the latter for me. I just let Jessica do her thing and she wanted to kiss Edward.
> 
> 1\. I don't make Jessica swear that much in general but she does it in certain situations. 
> 
> 2\. Not all friendships start of on the wrong foot. I met one of my best friends in high school and we did not like each other for the first year we knew each other but over time we got to know one another and are still friends up to now. First impressions aren't always right.
> 
> 3\. In canon, Jessica wasn't born in Forks and moved there as a child. I couldn't find out where she was originally from. I chose Portland, Maine because that's where Anna Kendrick is from.
> 
> 4\. Singing in the Rain is a 1953 musical rom-com starring Gene Kelly and Debby Reynolds (Carrie Fisher's mom).
> 
> 5\. Jessica's rain shenanigans are inspired by that one time I was on my way to school and had to walk miles to my house cause I couldn't get a ride in a storm. And that other time the wind was so strong it broke my umbrella.
> 
> 6\. I wrote the kiss in the car to Taylor Swift's Clean.
> 
> 7\. Canonically, Edward left Forks and went to Alaska after meeting Bella for the first time cause he was struggling to not kill her. Edward going off to Alaska here is inspired by that but he doesn't want to kill Jessica (at least not for her blood. He wants to kill her for other things.)
> 
> 8\. Chapter title is from a The Neighbourhood song


	8. That's What You Get

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica has a bad week.

Jessica was going insane. She spent the long weekend replaying the events that occurred in that cursed Volvo. Maybe she misread the entire situation, made up signals that weren't there, or was just straight up delusional. She was having a hard time wrapping her head around what happened.

She kissed Edward Cullen. He kissed her back. Then he went off to Alaska and she was left alone to wonder about his feelings. Was it a pity kiss or did he really want to kiss her?

She had no idea. She had nobody to talk to and she wanted to go into the woods and start screaming her lungs out again. She didn't do that though because there were freaking bears around. And she would sooner feed herself to a bear than to confide to her mom or Emily about the bad after school special that was her love life.

When Monday came around, she resolved to put a pause on the battle of wills she was having with her friends because she needed to tell _somebody_. And that was why they were eating their lunch at a table at the corner of the cafeteria to avoid being overheard by other people. It was snowing outside and she wasn't discussing this around the boys. Angela was so excited that Jessica was talking to them again that she baked date squares and the boys did not deserve a share.

Lauren asked, "So what caused the lift on the silent treatment?"

"This is temporary. I will be returning to avoiding you until you tell me why you're being so secretive next week," Jessica explained. "And I'm only lifting it for now because I need to tell somebody about what happened to me on Thanksgiving."

Both Lauren and Angela looked at her with interest. Jessica took a deep breath. She stretched her neck a bit. She needed to limber up for this conversation.

Lauren smacked her on the arm. "Stop delaying. Spill."

"I'm getting to it."

Why didn't she just do this over the phone? Oh right. Some conversations had to be done in person. This was one of them.

"I kissed Edward Cullen."

Angela gaped at her, doe eyes wide in shock. Lauren sputtered out the bite of date square she had bit into and showered Jessica in crumbs. _Ew_. She wiped the crumbs away.

"Rewind and freeze!" Lauren exclaimed. "How, why, and when did that happen?"

Jessica hissed, "Keep it down."

She looked behind them to check if anyone was looking at them but their classmates were busy eating and doing their own thing. Satisfied that nobody was listening in, she turned back to her friends and told the story of what happened on Thanksgiving, the flat tire, walking through the story, and Edward giving her a ride home. She recalled the conversation in his car and the kiss and Edward practically running away to Alaska.

"That's kinda romantic," Angela practically melted. "Kissing in his car with the rain around you. And he told you he was gonna miss you!"

"Then he went to a different state to get away from you," Lauren countered. "Has he tried to contact you since then?"

Jessica frowned. "He said we would talk when he came back."

"Did he say when he was coming back?"

She froze in realization. Humiliation and dread was heavy like led in her stomach. She was so stupid. She covered her face in her hands.

"He blew me off, didn't he?"

"Kind of sounds like it, Stanley."

"Don't be so cynical," Angela disputed, pulling Jessica's hands away from her face. Her kind brown eyes were full of reassurance. "We don't know why he's not at school today. Maybe he wanted to stay with his relatives longer. He could be back within the week."

" _If_ he comes back," Lauren tsked. "Maybe there are no relatives in Alaska."

"He has a secret girlfriend in Canada, doesn't he?" Jessica groaned. "And she looks like Megan Fox but with bigger boobs."

The blonde frowned. "I always thought he was more into boys."

Jessica and Angela both stared at her in disbelief.

"What?" Lauren said. "He doesn't date anybody and he dresses really well."

"You're stereotyping and that's not okay," Angela chided her gently before turning back to Jessica. "Give him the week. Don't give up just yet."

The week. Right. Edward had a week to prove he wasn't the world's biggest butthole. If only she would stop imagining him watching the sunset with Megan Fox but with bigger boobs.

* * *

On Monday she was calm, on Tuesday she was angry, and on Wednesday she gave in and had a good cry in the girl's bathroom during study hall. On Thursday, she was thinking about what she did wrong and what she could've done to make it better and on Friday, she was over it. It wasn't lost on her that she grieved a relationship that she never even had but Edward Cullen was a butthole and if she ever saw him again she would set his hair on fire with the Bunsen burner. He was already a walking fire hazard with all that hair gel.

Volleyball season was over and they were all making their way to Lauren's car when she saw the devil himself standing by that accursed Volvo in the parking lot. She stopped and stared at him in disbelief. He had to be a mirage or a psychotic break. The cold was doing thing to her brain.

He walked over to her, face impassive. "Jessica."

He couldn't be real. Somebody pinch her. He moved closer and pinched her on the arm. Even through her winter jacket she felt it and she yelped.

"What the heck, Cullen?" She stepped away, putting needed distance between them. "Do you just go around pinching people like an overgrown crab?"

He shrugged. "We should have that talk now."

Oh _that_ talk. The one they were supposed to have days ago. Well, he had another thing coming she wasn't going anywhere with him. He could go pinch someone else.

His eyebrows furrowed and his arms were in the pockets of his coat as his feet shuffled. He almost looked nervous. "I know I'm late. I got caught up when I was away."

"Caught up in what?"

Megan Fox? Was he too busy staring down at her big boobs to remember Jessica Stanley back in Forks? The audacity.

He looked confused but continued, "I was figuring some things out. And being away helped with that."

She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest, "Figuring what out?"

"Can we talk somewhere else?" He looked behind her to where Angela and Lauren were staring at them a few feet away. "Without an audience?"

It was so cold she could feel her limbs go numb. She shivered. She didn't really want to be having this conversation outside either. Their classmates were also watching them even Mike who did not look the least bit jealous. Dang it.

She grumbled, "Fine."

He moved and gestured for her to follow. Realizing where he wanted to go, she shook her head vehemently.

"No way. I'm not going into the woods," She protested. "There are bears in there."

And Edward Cullen was _probably_ a future serial killer and it didn't really look that well on her if she liked him anyway.

He sighed and changed course. He led them back inside the school, to one of the empty classrooms. Closing the door behind them, he made sure to lock it. She was only joking that he was a serial killer but now she wasn't so sure but she knew Lauren and Angela would come for her after five minutes if she wasn't back. They had code words and safety measures for a lot of things.

He didn't move closer, just leaned on the wall beside the door. She dropped her backpack on the floor and sat on a nearby chair.

"So…" She prompted. "Talk."

He stared at her with those weird gold eyes and said, "I needed time to figure out what happened on Thanksgiving."

The kiss in the Volvo which was a cursed object.

"What's there to figure out?" She returned. "We kissed. It happened. It wasn't some horrible traumatic experience."

"That's it," He shook his head. "It wasn't horrible at all."

"Did you expect it to be?"

She felt like she should be offended. She may have obsessed over Mike Newton for too many years but it wasn't like she'd never kissed any boys and gone on dates. She wasn't some hideous troll under a bridge. Of course Edward Cullen probably was so in love with his Megan Fox lookalike girlfriend.

His eyebrows furrowed again. "I meant that I enjoyed it too much. More than I should."

"Why can't you like it?"

"Because it was a mistake."

And there it was. He regretted it. She knew it. Why did she think this was going to end any other way?

"It's not you-"

"-it's me," She scoffed. "Were you going to say that 'we're better off as friends'?"

"No," He looked pained. There was that constipated expression again. "We shouldn't be friends either."

"Great. I'm not even good enough for that," She got up, picking her backpack from the floor. "You already told you would never be interested in me. _Like ever_."

He sighed. "You're not making this easy."

"Did you honestly expect me to?" She moved past him to the door and unlocked it. "I guess we're both kinda dumb, huh?"

She didn't wait for him to speak and left him there in that classroom. She did not turn back and ran as fast as she could outside. Lauren and Angela asked her what was wrong and she told them she needed to get home. They all climbed inside Lauren's car and she held control over her tear ducts until they finally left the school parking lot.

She hoped for more from him again. He rejected her again. She was a freaking idiot again. And Edward Cullen was still Edward Cullen. Why did she think it would be different this time?

* * *

Jessica spent the weekend contemplating everything that happened and realized how ridiculous she had been. As much as it still hurt that Edward made her feel lower than dirt _again_ , she was much better off not associating with someone who resembled a porcupine inside and out. They had a sleepover at Lauren's house and they watched _Legally Blonde_ in the living room, huddled together on the couch and munching on a giant plate of nachos _._ It was too close to home seeing Elle Woods learn that she was never going to be good enough for her ex-boyfriend and it made her want to start crying again.

When Elle Woods decided to prove how valuable she was, she felt empowered. Elle had it right. She would _not_ wallow on this. She would focus on school, graduating as valedictorian, and go to freaking Stanford. She would show Edward Cullen how valuable Jessica Stanley could be.

"You know, that Warner guy kinda looks like Cullen," Lauren pointed out. "They both have that douche-y rich asshole vibe."

"I know!" Jessica agreed. "And they're so in love with themselves that no one would ever be good enough."

"Hear hear, sister," Lauren raised her soda can. "Here's to avoiding cocky assholes."

Jessica bumped her soda can against hers and drank to that. Angela smiled at their antics but didn't say anything.

"What did you see in him anyway?" The blonde asked, grimacing at Warner's smarmy face on screen. "What happened to you crushing on Mike?"

"I still like Mike," She replied. "And I also just felt this attraction with Cullen. It was weird and complicated."

She bit into a nacho chip and chewed, contemplating, "Do you think you can like two people at once?"

Angela looked troubled but she answered, "Maybe. People and emotions are complicated."

She turned to Lauren who was frowning at Angela's sad face. "What about you, Laur?"

"I think everything is complicated and the more we try to simplify things, the worse they seem to get."

"Can some things even be simplified?" Angela returned. "Something like this that…that shouldn't even exist or doesn't feel real. How can anything be simple?"

"By playing it by ear and knowing that no one wants anyone to get hurt," The blonde swallowed. "That there has to be a reason for this and we need a little faith to get through this."

Angela looked down, staring at the chipped nail polish on her toes before finally nodding. "Okay. We'll get through this. Together."

Jessica bit into another chip. "How do you two manage to have a conversation that is so vague I have no idea what's happening?"

"Sorry, Jess," Lauren said sing-song. "Still can't tell you."

"Can we please not go back to not talking to each other?" Angela pleaded. "That was one of the worst weeks of my life."

Jessica conceded, "Fine."

Not having her friends around had left her lost and unhappy. She still wasn't happy about all the secrets but loneliness was worse.

"I know you can't tell me now," She continued. "But will you tell me someday?"

Angela leaned over and rested her head on Jessica's shoulder. "Yes."

"We'll find a loophole," Lauren snuggled into her other side. "Or else."

That was enough. Jessica had to accept that whatever secrets they were hiding was not to exclude her or hurt her. She felt there were bigger things under the surface. Like magma under the earth's surface, it would all come out eventually. She just had to wait and be patient.

For her friends, she could do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two steps forward and two steps back. Edward can't help himself. He's all over the place.
> 
> 1\. The line 'rewind and freeze' is from the Princess Diaries film.
> 
> 2\. What is up with all the mention of Megan Fox? People were obsessed with her in the early 2000's. My head canon is that Mike has a huge crush on her and that's why Jessica hates her.
> 
> 3\. Legally Blonde is one of my fave films of all time and is one of Jessica's faves too. She watched the movie in the 8th grade and idolized Elle's determination.
> 
> 4\. Chapter title is from a Paramore song.


	9. Mixed Signals and Other Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward is a butthole, the sequel.

Exams week was finally there which always put Jessica's anxiety on another level but she felt she was doing great so far. Her relationships with her friends had improved though remembering that they were keeping secrets still bothered her. It left an underlying tension no one wanted to address. Angela tried to fix things by baking more and bringing treats to school. Jessica wasn't sure if it helped but she would never say no to baked goods.

Edward was back in school and she was trying her hardest to ignore him. She tried to forget the past few weeks of him being somewhat nice never happened. Like a weird dream you'd have after eating something before bed and you'd wake up wondering what was wrong with your subconscious. She knew that if she even tried to dwell on her emotions around him that she would punch his stupid face and she did not want to deal with the consequences.

For the most part, he was back to being that impassive loner that talked to no one. Having been burned by him twice, she had no patience to try and decipher what emotions he was refusing to show. Maybe he had no emotions. It would certainly explain how it was so easy for him to treat people like they were nothing.

After their chemistry exam, she did not say one word to him as she left the classroom. She was going to have two weeks free of not seeing his ghostly presence and she was looking forward to it. He could go away back to Alaska or whatever. No one certainly missed him when he was gone after Thanksgiving.

Making her way to the cafeteria, she went in line to buy her lunch as her mom needed to go grocery shopping later and there wasn't enough for even a sandwich in the fridge. The pizza on Wednesdays was hit or miss but she hadn't much choice. She might get Eric to swap with her if she sweet talked him enough. And she had Angela's red velvet cupcakes to look forward to at the least.

"Hey."

She nearly jumped and turned to find Edward behind her in the line. She pretended she never saw him and eyed the back of Ben Chenney's head to move the line faster as if he had control. Edward cleared his throat behind her and she rolled her eyes. No dice. She wasn't going to even consider playing his evil mind games again.

"Jessica," He sighed. "You're really going to keep up with the silent treatment?"

Too bad for him, she could keep up the silent treatment forever. She and Emily did it all the time when they got on each other's nerves. There were times they did it simultaneously and the Stanley household was filled with silent passive aggression. Their poor mom ate through a lot of silent dinners.

"I realize I may have been insensitive about what happened between us," he started. "I never meant to hurt you."

Oh like that made things better. Tough lucky, buddy. He still hurt her and he could shove it up where the sun didn't shine. Insensitive was an understatement.

"I want to say I'm sorry," he continued. "I never want you to think that I think you're not good enough or that you're nothing. You're…you're far from average, Jessica Stanley."

Far from average? That was almost glowing praise coming from him. It didn't matter. His half-baked apologies were too little too late.

It was finally her turn and the lunch lady handed her the tray of food. Edward continued to follow her. God, he did not want to give up. Why was he even doing this? Did he just want to laugh at her again?

"That is not what I – Jessica," He grabbed her elbow preventing her from moving further and turned her so she could see his frustrated face. "I'm trying to fix this. I want us to be friends."

"You said you didn't want to be friends."

"I said we _shouldn't_ be friends, not that I didn't want us to be."

"Doesn't matter what verb you used, the intent was the same," She retorted. "You made this bed so just lie in it and die."

She shrugged off his touch and made her way to the table with her friends. They were staring at her curiously and she gave no explanation. Taking a big bite, of her pizza slice, she concentrated on eating. Food was more important than moody boys who couldn't make up their dang minds.

Why were boys like that? Kiss you then say they're not interested. Say something then take it back. Do something and say it was misinterpreted.

The whole lot of them sucked. Women should just go to a different planet and let the men kill each other. They could find a new planet and rebuild society. They could print money with Beyonce's face on it and wear flower crowns all the time (also no wage gaps, no sexual harassment, and no pointless wars.)

It was win-win all around. Maybe she should work for NASA and work on building a spaceship.

* * *

Jessica was surprised to find Angela was the one driving Lauren's silver Toyota Prius on Friday. Lauren was feeling sick again and was leaning her head against the window as she tried to take a nap in the passenger seat. She was concerned for her friend and suggested maybe she should take a sick day. Lauren refused.

"I can't miss exams," the blonde said. "I've already missed a lot from last month."

"You sure you're not gonna pass out in the middle of class?" Jessica questioned. "Cause I'm not buff like Jacob. I can't carry you."

Lauren insisted, "I'll be fine."

She didn't pass out in classes but she wasn't fully there either. She looked exhausted and was a grumpy to anyone one who tried to engage with her. She didn't eat during lunch and napped in her car instead. By their last class, she was complaining of headaches and that everything was too loud.

Lauren leaned on Angela as they walked out of the school building and towards the parking lot, her steps slow and unsteady. Jessica was readying herself to catch her if she fell. And she was getting so concerned she considered kidnapping Lauren and taking her to the hospital. She hadn't enjoyed the experience last time but she would do it again if she had to.

Angela drove again and Jessica sat in the back seat with Lauren resting her head on her lap. Déjà vu hit Jessica and she did not enjoy it. She caressed Lauren's messy blonde hair from her forehead and checked her temperature. It was uncomfortably hot.

"You're burning up," Jessica pointed out, trying not to panic. "Maybe we should go to the hospital."

"No," Lauren protested. "They can't help."

"They were able to help last time."

"That was last time."

"Just let us help you, Laur," Jessica argued in frustration. "You're so ill you can barely walk."

Lauren peered up at her with heavy-lidded eyes. Her skin was getting clammy from sweat. "I just need to get home and I can get through tonight."

"What's at home that they don't have at a hospital?"

"A cage."

The car swerved slightly as Angela exclaimed in panic, "Lauren! Don't!"

"No, no, Lauren, please do," Jessica countered. "What do you need a cage for, Lauren?"

"Loophole. I can't tell you about the secret we've been keeping," she replied. "I can't tell you everything but I can show you my secret."

"And that involves a cage?"

"Yes."

Jessica trying to lighten the mood as it was beginning to really scare her, joked, "Are you running a secret _Fight Club_ at your house?"

"No."

Lauren closed her eyes again and didn't explain any further. Jessica met Angela's eyes in the rear view mirror. She looked upset. Her doe eyes were wide in disbelief and aggravation.

Angela griped, "Jacob isn't gonna like this."

Lauren snorted. "He'll get over it."

The rest of the drive was quiet. Jessica worried over Lauren's temperature. Angela kept shooting worried glances at them from the rear view mirror. Tension cupcakes were back on sale.

* * *

Jacob was outside Lauren's house when they arrived. It was snowing and he was wearing only a hoodie and jeans. How was he not frozen or even look a little bit uncomfortable? Angela parked the car and he was there, opening the door to the backseat and taking Lauren into his arms.

She opened her eyes as her head rested on his chest. "You again."

"Miss me, Laur?" He smiled. "You look like one of _The Walking Dead_."

"Don't make me bite you, Black."

Jessica carried both her and Lauren's backpacks as they went into the house. Angela opened doors for Jacob who carried Lauren like she was weightless. He put her down on the couch and she lied down on the pillow that was already there. Taking the blanket from the armchair nearby, he covered her with it and knelt beside the couch as she settled in.

Angela didn't seem bothered with the display and went to the kitchen. Feeling awkward watching Jacob take care of Lauren, she followed her friend who was opening cabinets in search of something. It wasn't the first time Angela made something in Lauren's kitchen and she found the ingredients she needed easily. Jessica put down her and Lauren's bags on the floor.

"You're not surprised," Jessica said. "With how Jacob is with her."

Angela didn't meet her eye, just worked on what Jessica could tell was ginger ale. "She needs taking care of and she only accepts it from him."

"Well, doesn't that bother you?"

The taller girl sighed. "Honestly, for a while it did. But things are the way they are for a reason."

"What is?" Jessica asked. "Are you and Jacob in an open relationship and he gets to boink who he wants while you suffer in silence?"

"It's not like that-"

"Then explain it to me," She moved closer to Angela and leaned against the island. "What is going on with the three of you? And don't tell me you can't say anything because-"

"It's none of your fucking business," Jacob had entered the kitchen and he didn't look happy. "Whatever is going on is between me, Angela, and Lauren. You are not part of this."

Jessica felt an anger that was so visceral, she was surprised sparks didn't come out of her ears. "Okay there, buddy. I've known both of them way longer than you have so you don't get tell me I'm not part of anything."

He moved closer to her, hovering over with his great height. "You are an outsider in this. You don't get to dictate anything."

"Well, from an outsider's perspective, it looks like you're trying to play both of my friends at once," She argued. "You can't be content with one? Gotta catch them all like a sick game of _Pokemon_?"

"Oh fuck you-"

"No, fuck you-"

"Nobody is fucking anyone!" Angela interrupted, getting between the two of them and pushing Jacob a step back. "Lauren does not need this right now. It's the full moon tonight and she needs all her strength and focus on that."

Before Jacob could say anything, Jessica joked, "Why? Is she going to turn into a werewolf under the full moon?"

Angela and Jacob both froze, staring at her wide-eyed. She waited for them to start laughing or telling her she was being ridiculous. They didn't. She rolled her eyes, refusing to accept the nonsensical thought that crossed her mind.

"Come on, guys, very funny," She said. "Play a prank on Jess. It's fine. We can laugh at it now."

Jacob turned to Angela and asked, "Did you tell her?"

The brunette shook her head. "No. Of course not."

"Did Lauren tell her?"

Angela winced as she explained, "Actually, she wants to show Jessica tonight."

Jacob sputtered, unable to comprehend what he just heard. "Is she insane?"

He looked at Jessica and glared at her like she was the cause of all of this. She resisted the urge to give him the finger. Angela sighed and picked up the finished cup of ginger ale she made and left the kitchen. They followed her back to the living room and watched as she gave it to Lauren who smiled at her gratefully.

At the sight of Jacob's pissed off expression, Lauren said glibly, "I'm showing her and I'm not changing my mind."

He hissed, "Lauren."

"Still doing it."

" _Lauren_."

"You can't stop me."

He let out a frustrated growl and looked like he wanted to pull out his hair. Angela went to him and patted his shoulder consolingly. Jessica took a seat on the armchair across from Lauren and watched as the blonde sipped on her ginger ale like this was all normal for them. Jessica clutched on a throw pillow and waited for whatever show Lauren was planning.

She hoped it wasn't too bad. But werewolves? Right. She wasn't _that_ dumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sir Edward of the Mixed Signals just can't make up his dang mind. And Jessica has no patience for him yoyo-ing her around. The secrets are all coming out in the next chapter.
> 
> 1\. "I said we shouldn't be friends, not that I didn't want us to be" is something Edward said to Bella and she was annoyed with him too.
> 
> 2\. I should say in advance that I like to mess with the Twilight mythology/canon a bit. Not out of disrespect to the author but because some things may not make sense or are inconsistent to me. And for what you're about to learn about Jacob and the girls, drama and fun purposes. Cause this is a world with sparkling vampires. A little ridiculousness is fine.


	10. Wolf's Out Of The Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica wants new friends.

Jessica had never really been in the Mallorys' basement in all the years of being over at their house. She wasn't sure if the large cage was there before or if it was new addition but it was discomfiting to see. Bars were drilled into the wall off the basement and the enclosure took up half the room's space. There was nothing else in the basement.

They had waited hours for nighttime and for the full moon. Lauren's fever had broken but she grew restless. She couldn't sit still for long and paced the living room. She didn't want to eat anything even though she hadn't had any food the whole day.

Jessica was hungry though and Angela made them some sandwiches. Jacob demolished two on his own. After calling her mother to tell her she would be sleeping over at Lauren's, Jessica asked where the Mallorys were.

"Out of town," Lauren answered.

Jacob snorted. His expression was mutinous. Lauren gave him a look. And Angela sighed.

"Do they know about whatever this is?" Jessica asked. "And they left you alone?"

"It's not like they care, huh, Laur?" Jacob remarked. "Just leaves their daughter alone all the time especially when she needs them."

"Just shut the fuck up, Black," Lauren retorted. "I don't need this right now."

He looked like he wanted to say more but he kept his mouth shut. Jessica couldn't blame him. The neglect of Lauren's parents hadn't sat well with her and Angela for years. Lauren never complained and it made it worse somehow.

Lauren stopped her pacing and winced, clutching her abdomen. She groaned, "It's time."

Angela and Jacob got to their feet at once. They helped Lauren down the basement, Jacob practically carrying her. Jessica trailed behind them warily. The sight of the cage made her stop and stare.

"You sure you don't have a secret _Fight Club_ , Lauren?" She tried to joke but was ignored.

Lauren stripped out of her clothes, peeling off her jeans, sweater, and her underwear. When Jacob began stripping, Jessica gaped at him and could not look away. She knew she should but she didn't.

"My eyes are up here," Jacob quipped at her and he laughed at her red face.

Angela had pulled out a key and unlocked the cage door, Lauren stepped in first followed by Jacob. Closing the door, Angela locked the cage again and stepped away. Picking up the clothes on the ground, she folded them and put them down a stool in the corner of the room. Jessica looked at anywhere but all the naked skin in front of her.

"Is this what you wanted to show me?" Jessica asked. "You have some weird thing about having sex in a cage?"

They all looked at her like she was crazy and all shook their heads at her. She raised her hands up in defeat.

"You dragged me down here, stripped in front of me and got in a cage?" She countered. "Unless you're going to wrestle in there, what else was I supposed to infer?"

Angela replied, "No that."

Lauren let out a pained groan and fell to her knees. Jacob sat beside her on the ground as she lied down and began whimpering in pain. She clutched at her chest, grimacing and let out a scream. Concerned, Jessica tried to move closer to the cage but Angela held her back.

The next scream was louder, Lauren on her hands and knees as she arched her back and the ridges of her spine stuck out. Bones broke as they reformed under her skin and she continued to scream. Jessica stayed still, too terrified to move. Then, Lauren looked up, her blue eyes bright and iridescent, glowing like neon lights.

Her nails lengthened into claws. Lauren stopped screaming but her mouth was open and showing a row of sharp pointy teeth. Her face extended until it was a snout. And snow white fur grew from her skin and covered every inch of her.

Jessica said nothing throughout. It might've taken minutes or hours but she could not look away. There was a girl in that cage and now in her place was a white wolf. It looked like a real wolf except for the eyes that would flash neon blue.

The wolf turned to where Jacob was kneeling beside her. He didn't look the least bit fearful. The shift was faster, only took a second before there was another wolf in the cage. With chestnut brown fair and large as a bear, the white wolf calmed at the sight of it, waving her tail in excitement.

Angela took Jessica's hand and wordlessly led her out of the basement. The taller girl locked the door behind them and they made their way upstairs. When they were finally in the living room, Jessica's brain began to function again. She just saw two people turn into wolves.

She began hyperventilating. Angela took her hands and told her to breathe.

"Breathe?" She shrieked. "What the fuck?"

"I know it's a shock-"

"Shock? This isn't shock!" She exclaimed. "This is insane! You have two werewolves locked in the basement!"

"Yes. Believe me. I know," Angela was too calm for this. "I found out the werewolf thing recently too and it took a while to adjust."

"Adjust? You don't adjust to the sight of people turning into animals!" Jessica slapped her hand away. "Don't touch me! You're all weird and crazy and don't infect me with your werewolf voodoo!"

"You can't turn into one. It's hereditary."

"Oh, yes, that makes things better!"

Jessica knew she had to get out of there. She didn't know if that cage could hold the werewolves. They could escape and tear her into pieces and eat her. She needed to get to safety and call the authorities and tell the world that werewolves were fucking real and they needed to fear for their lives.

"Jessica!" Angela tried to grab her from running to the glass doors towards the back patio to freedom. "Calm down!"

"No! I will not be calm!" Jessica yelled, trying to push her away. "You're not going to literally feed me to the wolves!"

They stumbled and fell to the carpeted floor. Jessica tried to crawl away but Angela pulled her back. Pushed to her back, Jessica tried to slap her but Angela held her down, practically sitting on her stomach to keep her still. The height difference between them was never more evident as Angela had longer limbs and made a very pointy cage around her. The reminder of the cage in the basement made her try to buck the brunette of her.

"Let me go!" she screamed. "I will call the cops on you and Sheriff Swan will put you in jail and you can kiss college goodbye!"

"Jessica!" Angela returned. "Nobody is going to hurt you!"

"I don't believe you!"

"You should! It's me, Jess!" the brunette insisted. "Angela Weber, your best friend since kindergarten. I would never do anything to hurt you!"

Jessica stilled, staring up at Angela's doe eyes and wanting badly to believe her. "Promise?"

"Promise," Angela reassured her. "Nobody's gonna hurt you."

Jessica burst into tears.

* * *

After a very long night, Jessica was bone tired. They sat in the kitchen with cups of coffee as Angela explained as much as she could about the Quileute tribe and their shape-shifting werewolves. Jacob was the descendant of a long line of Alpha tribal chiefs who'd been protecting La Push from monsters they called the Cold Ones. Lauren, on the other hand, was a different breed of werewolf that was closer to the ones in movies and books.

"You know how both sets of Lauren's grandparents migrated from Europe?" Angela said. "They were survivors of a genocide. Hundreds of years ago, the Children of the Moon we're being wiped out by an enemy species."

"Enemy species?"

"From what Lauren's parents told us, they're the same kind as the Cold Ones in the Quileute's legends."

"These Cold Ones _really_ hate all types of werewolves," Jessica concluded. "And the Cold Ones are what like zombies or…?"

"Vampires," Angela nodded, smiling wryly. "Kinda makes you question reality, huh?"

"First werewolves and now vampires are real," Jessica laughed, hearing the hysteria in her own voice. "Makes you want to question what else is real? Fairies? Dragons? The Lochness monster?"

"I guess that makes everything possible," the brunette smiled. "Like what is the bar for strange now?"

"Very few things," Jessica sipped her cooling coffee. "You wanna explain the thing between you three now?"

Angela told her about imprinting. How wolves would find somebody and suddenly their world revolved around them. It was instantaneous and sacred to the pack. And that's what happened when Jacob and Angela met at the beach a few months ago.

"It's less ducks imprinting and more romance and soul mates?" Jessica furrowed her eyebrows. "But is it also biological? Finding the perfect mate to pass on genes for stronger offspring?"

"This isn't _National Geographic_ , Jess."

"Okay, but what about Lauren?" she asked. "I saw how he is with her. If you're his imprint soul mate person, why is he so like that with her?"

"Well, after Lauren's first shift after her birthday…Jacob imprinted on her too."

"They can imprint more than once?"

"It's only ever happened to the Alphas in Jacob's family," Angela explained. "No one knows why."

"He has two imprints and nobody else does?"

Angela nodded.

"Isn't that kinda greedy?" Jessica scoffed. "No wonder you and Lauren were so awkward with each other. You're all stuck in this polygamous magic wolf mess."

"We're trying to make the best of it," Angela reached across the table and took her hand. "I'm sorry about not telling you sooner. The current Alpha, Sam, gave the order not to tell anyone outside of the pack and their imprints. Jacob and Lauren can't even speak the words."

"That's kind of shitty."

She didn't like the idea of somebody issuing orders and they had no choice in obeying it.

"And wait, Jacob's _not_ the Alpha?"

"Sam offered it to him but he turned it down."

"Why?"

"Jacob doesn't think he's ready and he's only sixteen," Angela clarified. "I do believe that once he's older he'll step up as Alpha. He'll be good at it."

"And you'd be the queen of the wolf pack…along with Lauren," Jessica told her. "Why didn't he imprint on me too? We could be sister wives together."

Angela laughed and it made her smile. They both could see how ridiculous this all was. Mythological creatures, soul mate magic, and what was next? She had one question she was afraid to ask.

"Those vampires, are we in danger of them being around?"

Angela hesitated before answering, "Yeah. They moved back four years ago."

"Four years ago?" Jessica echoed. "The only people that have moved here at that time was…"

The Cullens. The Cold Ones. They weren't even trying to hide it! Dread, horror, and disgust hit her like a water balloon and she wanted to throw up.

Covering her face in her hands, she tried not to start screaming. She'd done enough screaming and crying that night. Edward Cullen was a vampire. And the more she thought of it, the more it made sense.

He was so freakishly pale and he never went out into the sun. He never ate at school and…and…he did look uncomfortable that time she ate garlic bread near him. Of course, he was a vampire! And oh God.

She kissed a vampire.

"You knew!" Jessica told Angela in accusation. "And you _let_ me kiss a vampire!"

"I didn't know you were going to," her friend returned. "The week before that, you said his hair was stupid and you wanted to shave it off as a public service."

"You could've given me a heads up," she replied. "I could've died!"

"They don't feed on people," Angela said. "It was part of the treaty and the pack will only attack them if they bite anyone."

"And what if Edward had decided to 'fuck it' and just drained me like I was a juice box?"

"I don't think that would've happened-"

"Angela, it's _me_."

The brunette considered it then she conceded, "Sorry?"

Bad friend alert. She needed new friends, ones that weren't knee deep in the supernatural. Maybe she should move out of Forks all together? Just pack everything and get her family back to Maine. Vampires wouldn't be in Portland, right?

The sunrise was there and they watched it from the kitchen window. Angela explained that Jacob and Lauren would be coming out of the basement soon and would sleep in till noon. Jessica and Angela made breakfast together and they ate waffles out in the patio. Jessica could pretend for a few moments that her world hadn't just been irrevocably changed forever.

* * *

The one saving grace was that Jessica wouldn't have to see any of the Cullens till after winter break. She had two weeks of not having to fear for her life at the sight of real life vampires. The thought of seeing Edward Cullen terrified the living crap out of her. And she felt extra stupid for having romantic thoughts about him because she was basically flirting with death.

There was relief and freedom from the pain of being rejected by him. It was a blessing in disguise. He rejected her and saved her life. He could've at any time asked her out, lured her into the woods, and munched on her neck.

The thought of what could've happened to her would keep her up at night and she found herself looking out into the darkness outside her bedroom window, wondering if anyone was out there. Bears weren't what she had to fear for anymore (cause the bear she saw was just Jacob). There was a new threat. And it was one she couldn't warn people of.

On one particular night, she couldn't sleep at all. Thoughts ran around her brain and would not let her rest. She snuck into the living room and watched _Singing in the Rain_. Sunny followed her and slept on the floor beside the couch.

She was going to be okay. She just had to keep her head down and not engage with the Cullens. Avoid ever being alone with any one of them. She had to make it to graduation and she'd be able to leave and get away.

But her mother would still be here in Forks. Emily still had a decade before she went off to college. There were also all the other families in Forks. And none of them knew what danger they were in every single day.

The only line of defense they had were the Quileute pack but if more people knew, they could defend themselves better. But if more people knew about vampires, would it help? Might cause mass hysteria and they already had the witch hunts in the past as an example of what terrors people could commit in fear. There would be a bloodbath.

Looking out of the windows in the living room, she stared into the darkness outside and listened to her own heartbeat in her chest. Hugging her knees to her chest, she'd never felt more defenseless. Sunny got on the couch and snuggled into her side, giving unfailing comfort. Jessica looked back on the screen as Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds danced and wished her dad was there. He would've known what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jessica finally knows. We can go into the supernatural side of the story now. Yay.
> 
> 1\. I'm messing with Twilight canon about imprinting. Canon says imprinting is a one and done deal but I wanted to explore the possibility of having more than one. If imprinting was a biological drive then logically having more than one is possible. And soul mates come in different forms.
> 
> 2\. Did Jessica handle the secrets coming out too well? I cut out her panicking more cause it's more of the same of Angela just trying to calm her down. It took an hour of Angela trying to calm her down until they were in the kitchen. And she does spend all of winter break trying to process the reveal.
> 
> 3\. Yes, Lauren is a werewolf. She is one of the Children of the Moon. They are werewolves closer to the ones in books and movies. In canon, Caius was terrified of them and tried to eradicate their existence. It's said in the wiki that this species of werewolves can create more werewolves with a bite like vampires but I decided to make it hereditary instead like the Quileute pack.
> 
> 4\. Lauren can only shift during the full moon and she can't control herself so they keep her locked up. Her parents know and they're just terrible parents.
> 
> 5\. My inspiration for Lauren's shift was George's werewolf transformation in Being Human.


	11. Bad Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward and Jessica finally talk.

Emily spent winter break learning to play the new ukulele Jessica and her mom got for her. Angela gave her some lessons on the chords and Emily decided to learn to play the _High School Musical_ soundtrack. Jessica had some regret when she was subjected to Emily's strumming every day but it made her sister happy so she just had to grin and bear it. She was going to scream if she had to hear _Breaking Free_ one more time though.

Jessica hadn't seen much of her friends for most of the winter break. Angela and Lauren were still figuring out the thing with Jacob. Jessica was still trying to wrap her head around the whole wolf thing but she supposed since they weren't hurting anyone and didn't have much a choice on being what they were, there was nothing bad about being a werewolf. And she loved her friends so she was just going to have to get over it.

The Newtons were having their yearly New Year's Eve party at their house that everyone went to. Jessica was excited to be out of the house and get to see Mike again. She bought a new dress for the occasion and spent extra time getting ready. Even Emily was excited to go and wanted to show off her progress with the ukulele to Angela.

They arrived at the Newtons' house on Lucken Road and hurried from their mom's car to the front door, not wanting to linger in the snow long. Catherine Newton let them in and told Jessica that Mike and the other 'kids' were upstairs in his room. Emily asked about Angela but the Webers hadn't arrived yet. Her sister pouted and followed their mom as she talked to the other guests.

Jessica made her way upstairs and found the room at the end of the hall. She knocked on the door and let herself inside. Mike was playing on his new PS3 with Eric. Tyler was watching them and eating a big bowl of chips they'd probably stolen from downstairs.

Tyler saw her first. "Jess! You made it!"

She smiled and entered the room, taking a seat next to Tyler on the bed. He gave her a one-armed hug. "Hey, Ty. You seen Lauren around?"

"Nah. Just the guys so far," Tyler threw a chip at Eric and Mike. "Hey, losers. Jess is here."

Mike didn't even look at her. "Hey, Jess!"

Eric wasn't much better. "Sup, Jess?"

She sighed and took a chip from Tyler's bowl and bit into it. Lauren knocked on the door a few minutes later, looking pretty as always in a black dress.

"Hey, Lauren!" Tyler and Jessica greeted her.

The blonde joined them on the bed and explained she had brought Jacob with her to the party and Angela was trying to explain to her parents that Jacob was technically dating both of them. Apparently it wasn't going very well. Angela and Jacob finally escaped the interrogation downstairs and joined them, carrying a tray of more snacks. They cheered when they saw Jacob was able to swipe a bottle of tequila from the kitchen.

Jacob poured a cup and handed it Jessica. "Last time we talked I was a bit of a…"

"A dick?" Jessica suggested, smiling innocently.

He conceded. "Yeah, a huge dick. Sorry about that? I'm a little overprotective when it comes to the girls."

That was an understatement but Jessica understood. She was overprotective of them to. She offered Jacob chips and he smiled and took a handful. That was one hatchet easily buried.

Jacob wasn't a bad guy. He played _Call of Duty_ with the boys and it wasn't long before they were talking smack at each other. The girls just rolled their eyes at the display but there was some comfort in knowing the boys never changed. The world may now be bigger and stranger than they knew but some things stayed the same.

"I heard your parents now know the sordid truth about your relationship," Jessica started. "How did that go?"

"Terrible," Angela sighed. "I'm never going to hear the end of it for quite some time."

Lauren chimed, "I told you to wait and tell them over the phone when you were safe in college."

"Wouldn't have made that much of a difference. Polyamory isn't something I think my parents will ever get comfortable with," Angela said. "My mom might but never my dad."

"Pastor Weber?" Jessica pretended to gasp. "No!"

Lauren laughed. Angela grabbed a pillow and hit Jessica who shrieked and left the bed to escape her assault. Eventually they started counting before midnight. Mike stood beside her as they watched the fireworks display his parents had prepared for it and she turned to him, wondering if he was going to make a move.

He gave her a smile and leaned down. She closed her eyes, holding her breath and waited. The kiss never came. His lips left a gentle peck on her cheek and pulled away.

She opened her eyes, the rejection burning deep within her. The fireworks outside illuminated Mike in different colors and it made his blue eyes look darker. She remembered that summer when he kissed her in his car after spending the day with her at Jitterbugs. She had hoped it'd be the start of something, that Mike would finally see her and choose her.

These past few months and that whole mess with Edward Cullen, she realized that if a boy really wanted her then he would choose her without her having to try so hard. She wouldn't have to doubt his feelings and whether she was worthy of his affection. She deserved better than that right? She may not deserve a whole lot but she deserved more than what she was being given.

"Mike," She swallowed, her heart beating in her chest fast. "Do you think you'd ever like me like I like you?"

Mike looked apologetic. "I've always like you, Jess. But not like that. I think you need to save all that love for someone who can appreciate it."

She didn't say anything and turned back to the fireworks. Mike left and Lauren and Angela came. As if sensing her discomfort, they held unto her and watched the sky together. It was a New Year and hopefully it would be better.

It had to be.

* * *

Winter break ended too soon. Jessica wanted to spend another week just lying about and not worrying about anything. But even _Singing in the Rain_ wasn't making her feel better like it usually did and she was in a bad mood on the first day back to school. She still had a few months of going to school with vampires and she was trying really hard not to think about it and go on a spiral.

Problem with trying not to think about something was the more she ended up thinking about it. She saw Jasper Hale walking through the hallway and tried to squeal. Knowing he could kill all of them if he wanted made her want to run away screaming. Jasper made eye contact with her and he raised an eyebrow as she opened her locker and tried to hide her head in it like an ostrich burying its head in the sand.

Chemistry class was torture. She had to sit beside Edward and focus on the lesson and not the fact he was a murderous vampire. How did nobody see it? He was so pale and no one had eyes of that color.

She could feel his gaze burning the side of her face. He was outright glaring at her and kept trying to catch her attention. If he touched her, she was going to scream "fire!" and running straight to La Push. Why did she try so hard to get his attention all these years? Was she suicidal?

Class took forever to end and she practically leapt out of her seat. She shoved her things as fast as she could into her bag, not caring that it was messy and ran into the hallway. She bumped into Alice Cullen who was staring at her curiously with those weird golden eyes. She froze and tried to get her feet to move but like a deer in headlights she did not.

"Hello," the brunette said. "You're Jessica, right?"

"Um, yeah," They only had classes with each other for four years but sure, Alice was only learning her name now. "I…I really need to go."

She tried to step back but ended up bumping into someone. It was Edward. Of course it was. She needed to get out of there. One vampire was bad but two vampires was a big no-no.

Edward was frowning at her, his expression hard. "We need to talk, Jessica."

"I'll take a rain check on that."

More like _never_. She ran away from them as fast as she could.

She tried her best to avoid any more of the Cullens that day but her luck was running out when she left gym class for a water break. Edward was leaning on the wall besides the water fountain. She weighed her options. Dehydration or blood loss? Such bad choices.

He looked annoyed. "Can we please talk now?"

"What about?"

Maybe if she moved very slowly back towards the gym she would be fine. He wouldn't try to hurt her in front of so many witnesses, right?"

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said. "What makes you think I would ever do that?"

She didn't know. The fact that he was a bloodthirsty vampire? He didn't have the fangs and the cool cape like Bela Lugosi but she wasn't discounting him. She was a lot smaller than him and her short legs weren't fast enough to get away from him.

He stepped closer and she raised her hands up in surrender. "No, no, please don't bite me!"

He didn't stop and grabbed both of her arms, whispering vehemently, "How did you even find out?"

Jessica remembered the weekend when she found out about Lauren's big secret. She recalled her best friend and Jacob Black transform into wolves and the conversation with Angela. She had explained about the Cold Ones and about vampires. Jessica blamed Angela for letting her kiss a vampire…

He gaped at her in shock and outrage. "You hanged out with werewolves? And watched them shift during a full moon? Are you insane, Jessica Stanley?"

"How did you…" Her eyes widened. "Wait. Can you read my mind?"

He went quiet, dropping her arms. She felt cold dread crawl up her spine. Not only was he a vampire but he was a telepath? Oh no. _Oh no_.

She thought so much weird shit around him.

"Yes, you did," he agreed. "You're really mean to me."

She retorted, "You're really mean to _me_!"

Realizing they were going to start arguing and getting off-topic of the fact she was in danger being around him and she needed to get away. She tried to appease him.

"I promise I won't tell anyone about what you are," She raised her hand up as if taking an oath. "Scout's honor."

He pointed out, "You were never a girl scout."

"It's the thought that counts!"

He snorted. "I don't really want to discuss this here. What are you doing after school?"

Panicked, she tried to come up with something. "Sorry. I'm busy. I have to…to wash my car."

"You don't have a car."

"I'm getting a new car and I'm gonna wash it…today."

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows at her. "What kind of car?"

Dang it. Why was he calling her bluff?

"You know. A regular, old car," she nodded enthusiastically. "With wheels and car stuff."

"What brand?" he continued asking. "And what model?"

"Okay. Fine," Frustrated, she gave in. "You win! I'm not doing anything later."

He should work for that government, interrogating criminals. The fact he could look into her head and see her lies wasn't helping. Her mind was a private place and he was openly violating her safe space. He sighed and looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry about the mind reading. Can't really control it," He smiled at her and she resented the flash of attraction that went through her. "I'll see you later. Let's go to the Home Slice. I know you like that place."

How did he know what she liked? Oh right. _Mind reading_. She frowned at him as he turned and walked away.

She was going to have to talk with Edward Cullen _alone_.

She was so fucked.

* * *

Jessica dreaded school being over. She wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there. She had to tell Angela and Lauren where she was going and neither of them were happy. Lauren insisted on going with her but Jessica had a feeling that wouldn't end well. Even without the enmity between werewolves and vampires, Lauren just hated everyone. Jessica knew the conversation would get violent.

To appease them, she let Lauren come pick her up at the Home Slice after an hour no matter what happened. Edward agreed to it and almost cheerfully asked her to get into his stupid Volvo. She did not like being inside the cursed object but she didn't say anything. Maybe she needed to borrow some holy water from Pastor Weber.

Jessica was freaking out the whole five minute ride, clutching on to her backpack as if it would protect her. They arrived at the restaurant and made their way inside. Edward opened the door for her and she warily wondered what he was planning. They chose a table at the back and Jessica ordered her favorite pizza.

"Do you even eat?" she asked, curiously. "People food?"

"I can but I can't digest it."

"Do you end up just chucking it up?"

He nodded, bemusedly. "And it doesn't taste good anyway."

"So, I'm more your kind of meal?"

"Generally speaking, yes," he answered. "But I don't want to kill you, Jessica. Not for that. I've wanted to kill you for other things."

Knowing she was being insulted, she rolled her eyes. "What did you want to talk about?"

"First of all, hanging out with werewolves was really dangerous and I'm disappointed in you," He gave her a look. "I've never seen a human attract trouble like a magnet before."

"Nice to know I'm special," She leaned closer to ask, "How did you get into the vampire lifestyle?"

"Remember that story I told you of my birth parents. That was true. They died of the Spanish influenza," he replied, "My adoptive father, Carlisle, was a vampire and he turned me to save my life."

"Wait," She remembered her History classes very well. "The Spanish influenza was in 1918. That would make you like…"

She did the math. Oh, he was a hundred and five. _Ew_. She kissed an old man.

He grimaced. "I'm not _that_ old…"

"You only look young on the outside," she remarked. "But in reality, you are as old as dirt."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jessica…"

"Yes, grandpa?" she replied. "Do you need me to speak louder? I know your hearing isn't the best."

"Could you go back to being terrified? I liked that better," He glared at her impish face. "Are you done?"

"Not even close," She smiled at the waitress as the food arrived. She took a slice of pizza and took a big bite. "You were saying that you don't want to kill me and what else?"

He stared at her as if he was memorizing her face. He took a deep breath and declared, "I think I'm in love with you."

She choked. The bite of pizza lodged in her throat. She coughed as she tried to dislodge it. Edward reached over and thumped her on the back. She reached for her glass of water and drank half of it quickly.

Staring at him in disbelief, she exclaimed, "What?"

Was she hallucinating? She had to be. Maybe the winter was playing tricks on her mind. All the stress of school and trying to make sure she was on top of everything finally broke her.

Because Edward Cullen couldn't be in love with her.

"I am," he said. "I'm not happy about it either. Everyone kept going on about _falling_ in love but I didn't fall. You hit me like a train."

That didn't really sound romantic.

"You're saying you _don't_ want to be in love with me?"

"No," He shook his head. "I want to go back to living my life as a 'loner' as you kept calling me and not be bothered."

"I didn't _make_ you fall in love with me," she pointed out. "If anything, you kept pushing and pulling me around like a yo-yo."

"Because you were always just there," he retorted. "Answering questions in classes and your funny thoughts in your head. Even when you're not around I still have you in my head. I went to Alaska and you were all I could think about."

This wasn't romantic. This was the opposite of romantic. He looked angry and resentful. He looked more like he hated her than loved her.

"Oh I _hated_ you. Cause you made it really hard not to notice you," he continued. "You're loud, annoying, and stubborn. You're competitive, mean, and petty."

She didn't say anything. She felt belittled as he pointed out all her flaws. He was such a butthole. And he thought he was in love with her?

"You're insecure, obsessive, and won't give up even when it's futile," He sighed deeply. "And I hate it when you ignore me."

She stared at his stupid face and his stupid hair and stupid eyes. She really wanted to punch him. She waited so long for a declaration like this and he made it so unromantic and so not-cute. Why couldn't he be _normal_ and just be nice?

"And despite all of my flaws, you're in love with me, huh?" she replied. "That sounds like a you problem."

She got up, grabbed her backpack, and left the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Edward fucked up again.
> 
> 1\. Jacob is not having the best time meeting the parents.
> 
> 2\. I wrote that scene with Mike and Jessica to Fall Out Boy's Fourth of July. I felt that Jessica needed to finally move on from Mike but it had to be her realizing that she deserved better.
> 
> 3\. Biggest inspiration was Pride and Prejudice when Mr. Darcy confessing his feelings to Elizabeth Bennett and he kept insulting her. Edward can't help himself.
> 
> 4\. Edward's 'seventeen for a while' bullshit ain't gonna fly in this story.
> 
> 5\. Chapter title is from a Selena Gomez song.


	12. Old School Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward comes back swinging.

Lauren's car was waiting outside the Home Slice and Jessica got inside quickly. Both her friends could tell she was upset and asked her what happened. She told them about her conversation with Edward, his confession, and the crap pile of insults he threw at her. She was so incensed at the end that both Lauren and Angela were both quiet, trying to process all of it.

Angela was the first to recover. "So…Edward Cullen is in love with you."

"He _thinks_ he's in love with me," Jessica rubbed at her temples. "Apparently he hates that he feels any sort of emotion for me and somehow it's all my fault."

"He's an asshole," Lauren remarked. "Who can fuck off in a cave or bridge of wherever vampires dwell in."

"He didn't articulate himself very well," Angela said. "How do you feel about this, Jess?"

"I want him to go away and leave me alone," She leaned back and wished that she never met Edward Cullen. "He always makes me feel like garbage and I hate him."

"You should hate him," Lauren agreed. "Anyone who makes you feel that way is not worthy of your time."

"I know."

She knew it now after the previous year of Mike and Edward throwing mixed signals at her. She was so done with boys. She used to obsess over the fact that the boys she liked never liked her back. In reality, she just had the worst taste in boys and was wasting her time.

They dropped her off at her house. Angela stepped out of the car and gave her a hug. Jessica accepted her comfort, not wanting to cry but it was nice to be held by someone she knew really loved her. Angela told her that she would call later and she got back in the car.

Jessica made her way back inside and her mom must've sensed something was off because she was being extra nice. Her mom suggested they watch a movie together. Even Emily was allowed to stay past her bedtime for it.

"I thought you said no movies on school nights," Jessica remarked as they she set up the DVD player.

"Sometimes you have to live a little," her mother replied, salting the bowl of popcorn. "Besides, Gene Kelly never gets old."

Emily fell asleep half way through the movie and their mom carried her into her room. She returned to the living room and they watched Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds dance together. Her mom smiled and hummed along to the song. Jessica watched her expressions and wondered how many times her parents watched this movie before she was born.

"Hey, mom," she said. "How did you and dad meet?"

Her mom smiled wider as she began to reminisce. "We met at Bates College in Maine. Your dad was on the rowing team and I was in an acapella group."

"What? You in an acapella group?" Jessica was surprised as her mom never sang outside of the shower. "No freaking way."

"Yes, I was," her mom explained. "I met your dad at a party. It was Newman Day and he was drunk as a skunk. He tried to hit on me and I turned him down. I didn't really like him at first."

She had never known that. As far as she could remember, her parents had always acted as a unit and seemed very in love. Too much if she was being honest. She used to make faces when they would kiss in front of her.

"What happened? What made you change your mind about him?"

"I saw him on campus the next day. He was so hungover he could barely see straight. He apologized for the previous night and asked me if we could go to lunch together," Her mom shrugged. "I don't know why but I said yes. We bonded over a mutual love of ABBA. And a few years later, we got married and had you."

Jessica was smiling so much her cheeks were hurting. It was mind-boggling to know her parents had whole lives before but also that her parents didn't have a good beginning. Thank God they worked it out. And she owed her existence to _Honey Honey_ apparently.

* * *

After the movie was over, Jessica got ready for bed. Sunny was already lying on the bed and taking up most of the space. She pushed Sunny a bit to make room for herself and got under the covers. She was about to turn off her bedside lamp when a snowball flew out of nowhere and hit the window.

Sunny was startled and began barking at the window. Jessica got up and warily made her way to the window. Pushing it open slowly, she looked outside and saw Edward Cullen standing outside in the snow. Scowling, she moved to close the window but he stopped her.

"Please, don't," he begged. "I'm sorry for earlier. You're right I'm a butthole and I don't deserve you."

"Go away," she hissed. "We have garlic in the house and I'm not afraid to use it."

He sighed. "That won't work on me."

"Sounds exactly what a vampire would say."

She wasn't falling for it. Of course he'd say garlic couldn't hurt him so she would let her guard down. Then when there was no more garlic to protect her, he would chump down on her neck. She was B positive and had to taste good.

Sunny was still barking at him. Her mom heard it and called out, "Jessica, is everything okay in there?"

"Everything's fine, mom!" she replied. "Sunny just saw a cat pass by!"

Jessica turned back to Edward and gesticulated for him to go away. She had no idea why he knew where she lived and she never wanted to see his smug face again. He refused to budge and pulled out a big dog bone out of his jacket. He threw it into the room and at Sunny who quieted down immediately. So much for a dog's loyalty.

"Can I come in?" Edward asked. "Please. I just want to talk."

"Last time we talked, you kept insulting me," she pointed out. "You didn't get all of them out so you needed a part two?"

"No. That's not it at all," He shook his head, looking weary. "I realize I can be insensitive and I say horrible things to you. I never mean to hurt you-"

"You just do."

He held up his head to let him finish. She complied.

"I never want to hurt you. Yes, I said I didn't want to be in love with you but I never really wanted to be in love with _anyone_ ," he admitted. "It wasn't something I looked for even when I was human. You grew on me-"

"Like a fungus?"

He gave her a look. She smiled sheepishly and gestured for him to keep going.

"You surprised me. You're funny, smart, and so open with your emotions. You love with every ounce of your being," he said. "And I think you're beautiful, Jessica."

Well…

"Wow," She didn't know what to say. "That was better than your first try."

He pulled out something from his jacket again. Was it like Mary Poppins' bag? Did he just have magical pockets? He was holding a red rose. Where did he even get flowers in the winter?

He offered it to her, hesitantly. "Please just give me a chance."

She took the rose because it was pretty. And she wasn't gonna turn down flowers.

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the vampire thing," she admitted. "You're old enough to be my grandpa."

He sighed, unable to really say anything to that. He leaned against the window frame and bumped his forehead against it a few times. She resisted the urge to laugh at his misery. He turned to leave but she stopped him.

"How did you know where I live?"

He froze. She could see how tense he was. She waited. He turned back to her, the guilt all over his place.

"I stalk you."

Dang it. Why can't he be _normal_? Here he was at her bedroom window like a modern day Romeo and he had to ruin it by being a creep. Why did she never like nice boys?

"Edward, that's not okay," she told him. "And hand me a snowball."

He knew what she was going to do but picked up some snow on the ground and made her a snowball anyway. He handed it to her and held still as she threw it at his face. She smiled as he wiped the snow out of his eyes. She closed the window shut.

"See you at school tomorrow," she said as he left.

She pulled her curtains closed over the window and went back to bed. Placing the rose on her bedside drawer, she wondered where he got it. No matter. She'd ask him tomorrow.

* * *

Jessica found Edward waiting at her locker as she arrived at school. Their classmates were staring at them in passing. She ignored them and smiled as Edward handed her another red rose. Lauren and Angela lingered and she gestured for them to go. Lauren shot a glare at Edward and he pretended like he never saw it.

She twirled the rose by the stem. "Where are you getting flowers in January?"

"You wanted romance and I'm complying," he replied. "And I'm not telling you how I'm getting them. It ruins the mystery."

"Whatever you say, Eddie."

"It's still a bit early before class, you want to come with me somewhere?" he asked. "I have something to show you."

"Your cave?"

He looked confused. "What?"

"Doesn't your kind live in caves?"

"We're not bats," He rolled his eyes and held out his hand for her to take. "This will take five minutes. Please?"

"Okay."

She took his hand and tried not to shiver at how cold his touch was. He felt as cold as the snowy parking lot. He led her down the hallway to the music room. It was currently empty and he made a beeline for the piano.

He took a seat and she decided to stand as he started to play. It wasn't a piece she'd heard before. It was slow with a simple but sweet melody. There was almost something melancholic about it.

Edward played it confidently and with no need for sheet music. His long pale fingers played over the keys smoothly and she could not look away. She wondered how long he'd been playing to be this good. She remembered he was as old as the hills so probably a while.

He gave her a look. She shrugged. It was his own fault for listening in on her thoughts. The music picked up and it was soothing and even joyful before ending softly.

She clapped and he smiled widely at her.

"Very nice," she said. "Who wrote it?"

"I did," he replied. "I wrote it about you."

She didn't know what to say. She clutched unto the rose and tried to make sense of her own emotions. There was surprise, gratitude, and finally happiness. Nobody had ever made something for her like this. No one had ever been inspired by her to create something so pretty.

"Oh."

He got to his feet and leaned down to tell her, "Yes, Jessica. _Oh_."

He looked like he wanted to kiss her. His golden eyes were staring at her lips but she didn't want him to. She still had reservations about what he was and what this thing between them was supposed to be. The age difference between them was a huge barrier on its own. She didn't know how she felt about kissing somebody older than sliced bread.

He cleared his throat, pulling away. "We should get to class."

"Baby steps," She took his hand again as he led them out of the music room. "We're taking baby steps."

"I can wait," Edward said as they walked through the hallways. "I'm very good at waiting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jessica wanted romance so Edward is trying to his best.
> 
> 1\. Jessica's mom being in an acapella group was inspired by Anna Kendrick being in Pitch Perfect.
> 
> 2\. Jessica has no patience for Edward's stalking tendencies. And she shouldn't. Stalking is creepy.
> 
> 3\. The song Edward plays for Jessica is called 'Arrival of the Birds'. It's one of my favorite pieces. You can find piano covers on Youtube.
> 
> 4\. Fun fact: Edward is older than sliced bread. Sliced bread was invented in 1928.
> 
> 5\. Chapter title is a reference to Edward's old fashioned way of courting and also cause he's old.


	13. Chicago Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward talks a lot.

Edward gave her a rose every day. Jessica still didn't know where he got them but she wasn't complaining. She was distracted in class because her mind kept wandering to him and what he was doing and what he was thinking. Even in Chemistry class, her gaze kept wandering over to him and when they made eye contact he would smile and her insides would melt. It was disgusting.

Her friends weren't thrilled about what was happening but respected her choices so they said nothing. Lauren made it clear that Jessica just had to say the word and she would be calling the wolf army for help. Mike did not care. Eric and Tyler were confused but supportive.

"How did that happen?" Tyler asked as they made their way to the parking lot. "With Edward."

Edward was standing by the Volvo of Doom, waiting for his siblings. Ever since Rosalie and Emmett graduated, he had been a perpetual third wheel to Alice and Jasper instead of the fifth wheel he once was. She smiled and waved at him. Almost shyly, he waved back.

"It kind of just happened," Jessica replied. "Neither of us planned on it."

"You fell without noticing?" Tyler grinned at her. "I'm happy for you, Jess."

Tyler, being one of Mike's best friends, had watched Jessica pine for Mike and do everything to catch his attention. Seeing her finally move on and do something else with her life must've been nice to see.

"Thanks, Ty."

"No problem. See you tomorrow."

Jessica made her way to Lauren's car and got in, enjoying the heat inside. She and Angela were going to work on a project together so Lauren dropped them off at Jessica's house. Emily was excited to see Angela and wanted to show her how she'd progressed with the ukulele. Angela smiled through Emily's rendition of _What I've Been Looking For_ until Jessica was able to pull her away to her room and lock her sister out.

They worked quietly for a few minutes until they decided to stop for a snack break. Jessica munched on gummy bears as they made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Jessica asked, "How's it going with Jacob?"

"It's going okay."

Jessica cut her sandwich in half and took a big bite, watching as Angela refused to meet her eye.

Neither Angela nor Lauren talked much about the situation between the three of them since New Year's. Angela was never one to vent her emotions without prodding. She was too used to being the mom of the group and taking care of everyone. Lauren hid her feelings out of a fear of being vulnerable while Angela was too used to making other people feel better to focus on her own.

"You don't have to pretend with me," she said. "I'm not gonna judge you."

"I know," Angela finally met her eye. "None of it was easy at first. The werewolf thing was pretty stressful."

Jessica snorted. "You don't say."

The brunette laughed softly. "Okay, it was _very_ stressful. The whole thing with Jacob and Lauren wasn't ideal. At first, I didn't understand why we had to share and especially why it had to be with one of my best friends."

"But?"

"But then I realized that love isn't about being selfish. It's the opposite," she continued. "There has to be reason for everything. And being selfless is what is needed for this to work."

"How does it work though?" Jessica was very curious. "Are you all three together?"

"Jacob and I have our relationship and he has his with Lauren. She and I are still friends and always will be," Angela smiled at her. "Like you and I will always be friends."

"And there's no jealousy or anything?"

She could never imagine sharing her boyfriend with anyone. She tried to imagine having to share Edward and had an urge to throw a snowball at his face again.

"Maybe a little but we're working on it."

"You know, there's an upside to this situation," Jessica conceded. "If Jacob annoys you, you can just paw him off on Lauren."

Angela rolled her eyes. "Funny enough, they fight more than he and I do."

"Lauren? Fighting?" Jessica pretend to gasp. "No!"

They both laughed. And Jessica nudged her shoulder against the other's girls.

"If anything's wrong, you'd tell me, right?" she said. "No more secrets?"

Angela nodded. "No more secrets."

Jessica knew the relationship her friends had was messy and wouldn't be easy but she hoped it would work out for them. She had fear that if they couldn't work it out then her budding thing with Edward had less of a chance. She still had her reservations about him and why he wanted _her_. Didn't he say that he would never want her in the first place?

* * *

Jessica couldn't sleep. She lied in bed and stared at the faded paint of her bedroom's ceiling as her mind kept wandering to anywhere but unconsciousness. She wished she could turn off her brain. She envied Sunny beside her who was dead to the world.

The tapping at the window nearly made her scream. Tense, she looked over to find Edward's white face against the glass and hide to bite back another scream. She pushed the comforter off her and made her way to him. Opening the window, she whispered, "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry?" He didn't look the least bit apologetic. "I was hoping you were still awake."

"It's…" She turned to check the clock beside her bed to check the time. "It's eleven at night. Why are you still awake?"

"I don't sleep," he explained. "Vampires don't sleep."

"Really?" That sounded horrible. "Like ever?"

"Not ever," He moved closer to the window. "Can I come in?"

"You need an invitation like in the movies?"

"No," he replied, glibly. "I was just being polite."

Sounded like something a vampire would say. He gave her a look. She shrugged and gave in.

"Fine, fine," she said. "You can come in, Dracula. But no biting anyone."

He climbed into her room like an overgrown cat trying to fit through a small hole. He closed the window behind him, keeping out the cold from outside. As he looked around her room, he looked out of place in this familiar setting. He stopped at the collage of photos atop her dresser and picked up the frame of her four-year-old self dressed as Cinderella. It was her first Halloween and there was Angela as Snow White and Mike as a fireman. He smiled before placing it back.

She realized this was the first time she had a boy in her room. In the past, it had been boys sneaking her into their rooms and getting her out before his parents could catch them. Her bedroom had been free of any shenanigans. She had been too scared of her mom walking in.

Sunny woke up as Edward came closer to the bed, baring her teeth and growling at him. He stopped and took the seat on the chair by her desk. The distance gave her some comfort. She took a seat on the foot of her bed and waited for him to say anything. He just stared at her until she fidgeted so much, she had to speak.

"What do you do at night?" she asked. "Since you don't sleep."

"I play piano mostly. I'll also read a book or watch a film," he explained. "Play _Mario Kart_ with Emmett when I feel like it."

Boys and their video games, they were the same no matter how old they were. And speaking of age, she had done her reading on the time period when he'd been human and had been intrigued. She had learned he'd lived through World War I, the Spanish Influenza, and numerous economic and cultural advances. As a vampire, he would've lived through even more.

"Can you tell me what it was like?"

"What do you mean?"

"All of it. You lived through history," she replied. "You can tell me more than any book ever can."

He looked down, running his hand through his auburn hair. "Not all of it is good."

"That's history for you," She tried to joke as he did look uncomfortable. "Okay. How about your childhood? Could you tell me what that was like?"

He looked far away, eyebrows furrowed as he lost in his own thoughts. Closing his eyes, he held still for what felt like a long time. She counted time through heartbeats before he finally looked at her again. He looked unsure and even a little ashamed.

"I don't remember much anymore," he confessed. "I remember I was born on June 20th, 1901. My parents were Edward and Elizabeth Masen. He was a lawyer and he was distant. He was always working. And my mother…"

His smile was small and brittle. "She was warm and kind. She had green eyes. Carlisle said I used to have eyes like hers but I don't…I don't remember if I did."

"What did she look like?"

"She had long hair the color of copper pennies."

"Like yours?"

She tried to picture a woman with Edward's hair and green eyes. She might've been pale, probably very pretty. Maybe she had Edward's high cheek bones or his full mouth.

"Yes. The memories are blurry. I can't remember much," His eyebrows furrowed again. "My mother was from Ireland. I don't remember exactly where. She moved to Chicago and made her life there."

She smiled. "You're from Chicago?"

"Born and raised," He shrugged. "And no, I never had deep-dish pizza. That was invented after I was turned."

"Oh, that's just tragic," She laughed softly. "No wonder you're so doom and gloom. You've never had pizza."

He stood up and moved the chair closer to the bed until only a few feet separated them. The reduction of space made her almost dizzy with anticipation. Her bare feet could touch his if she reached out. He kept his hands on his lap and her eyes traced the veins on his wrist. He was always cold to the touch.

He continued to tell her of his past. "My grandparents died before I was born so I never had memories of them. I was close to my mother. She taught me how to play the piano. She liked Chopin."

His fingers played a silent rhythm on his thigh. "I find myself playing his songs when I would find myself missing her."

Mesmerized, she wanted to know more. "What else?"

"She begged me not to enlist for the war. I wanted to. Everyone else was signing up and I wanted to be of use to my country," He admitted. "I couldn't bear to upset her so I didn't. And sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I did. Would I have died on a battlefield? Never became what I am?"

"Maybe you might've met a vampire on the battlefield and still became one," she countered. "Or you could've survived the war, came home and got sick and still ended up the same way."

"Are you saying this was always going to be my destiny?"

"Do you think it is?" she told him. "It doesn't matter what I think. It matters what _you_ think about what happened to you."

He knelt down in front of her, his hands grasping hers on her lap. She tried not to pull away from the cold shock of his skin. "I never wanted to be this."

"A vampire?"

"Immortal," His fingers traced the delicate skin of her wrist. Could you hear the fast patter of her pulse? "I wanted to live my life and have it end. I never wanted to spend more time on this earth than I was supposed to."

"What's wrong with immortality?" she disputed. "You could achieve so much when you have all the time in the world. Build empires and find the cures to deadly diseases? Learn how to knit?"

She thought about what she could do if she had all that time. She could study every language in the world. She could see every city and learn about every culture. She could go to school and learn everything she ever wanted to learn. She would never have to worry about the looming deadline all humans learned to fear.

"I confess I never bothered with knitting," He snorted. "And the blood thirst that makes me want to kill everyone isn't enjoyable."

"That does sound like a bummer," She ran her fingers through his messy hair. It looked a lot softer than she'd imagined. "It's not all bad, is it? Did you get to go to a The Beatles concert and meet JFK?"

"Yes to the Beatles," he replied. "And no to meeting the President."

They talked until sunrise. She went to school without sleep and she yawned her way through classes. During lunch time, Edward snuck them into the music room and played Chopin for her. And he told her more stories about his childhood.

* * *

Edward wanted to have lunch with her which Jessica thought was odd cause he didn't even eat people food. Nonetheless she acquiesced and he led her to the table he usually shared with his siblings. She had always felt uncomfortable around Jasper Hale as when he didn't look like he was in pain, he looked like he wanted to kill everyone in the room. And knowing that he really did want to off everyone made it hard for to relax but she would try her best.

Alice smiled at her and greeted her cheerily, "Jessica!"

She looked at Edward who just smiled and motioned for her to take the seat beside his sister. Warily, she replied, "Alice."

"I'm so happy you could join us," she said. "We're going to be great friends."

Jessica had never really given Alice Cullen much thought aside from the fact Alice was one of the few people in town that was shorter than her. It was a fact that always made her feel a bit better that she was short but she wasn't the shortest. And there was the weird thing where Alice was dating her foster brother. The Cullens were weird but maybe that was a vampire thing.

Alice asked, "What has Edward told you about our…um, lifestyle?"

"Not much except that you don't live in caves," Jessica replied. "And that you don't sleep...so no to the coffins?"

Jasper snorted, shaking his head. "Coffins?"

She was honestly relieved to finally be getting answers. She and Edward tended to dance around the vampire issue and that was probably because she kept making fun of him but it was hard not to. She chalked it down to his old man grumpiness as he was as old as a hill. He frowned at her.

She concluded, "I'm guessing the movies are very inaccurate?"

"Very," Alice answered. "We aren't bothered by crucifixes, garlic, and holy water either."

"What about sunlight?" She remembered all those camping trips they would go on when the weather was nice. "Do you burst into flames or not?"

"Not flames," Alice laughed and turned to Edward. "You should show her."

He groaned. "She's going to laugh at me."

"I wouldn't!" Jessica responded. "It can't be _that_ bad."

Edward shook his head. "The ageist jokes are bad enough. And you will laugh. Alice has seen it."

"Seen what?"

Alice shared a look with Jasper before telling her, "You know how Edward can read minds? Well, I can see the future."

She gaped at her. "No way."

Alice nodded. Jessica's mind started whirring at the possibilities. Telepathy was one thing but clairvoyance was another ballpark. How accurate were Alice's predictions? How far into the future could she see? What did she see about Jessica?

"Do I get into Stanford?" She grabbed Alice's dainty hand and stared into her golden eyes frantically. "Tell me, Alice. I need to know. The wait has been killing me."

"Of course you get in," Alice patted her hand. "There was one other future where you went to UCLA but you changed your mind in Sophomore Year."

She remembered that. She initially wanted to go to UCLA (partially because Mike was planning on going there.) It wasn't until she realized how much she enjoyed her Science classes and learned Stanford had an incredible Biochemistry program that made her set her sails for a career in STEM instead. And it was freaking _Stanford_.

"Oh thank God," She sagged in relief. Looking past Alice, she met Jasper's unnerving stare. "What can you do?"

"I can feel people's emotions."

Jessica felt very conscious now about what he could feel of her. He could definitely feel how awkward she felt. A telepath, an empath, and a clairvoyant all at the same table, they might as well be the _X-Men_. Did all vampires have cool superpowers?

"Not all but some," Edward answered. "We're the ones in our family that have abilities."

That just raised more questions. Why some and not all? Was it a mutation within vampires? Was it triggered or genetic? How different was the vampire biology to a human's?

Instead, she suggested, "Why don't you show me what happens to you under the sun?"

"No," He shook his head vehemently. "Not happening."

"Come on," She took his hands in hers and smiled at him sweetly. He loved her, right? He wanted to make her happy and this would make her happy. Apparently, it would make her laugh. "Please?"

He gave her a look. He knew what she was trying to do and he didn't want to fall for it. She knew he would give in. Her curiosity was sparked and like a forest fire, it would not be stopped.

"Fine," he snapped. "After class."

"Yay!" she exclaimed and leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He was still scowling. "It's a date."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke my daily update streak cause my computer got locked in a room where the doorknob broke and we had to wait till morning to call somebody. The universe was against me. A huge shoutout to my friend Aria for raising my spirits when I felt discouraged to continue writing.
> 
> 1\. In canon, Edward was born in Chicago in June 20th, 1901. He's a Cancer. He was close to his mother and wanted to enlist in World War I.
> 
> 2\. The background of his mother being Irish was something I added in cause I wanted to give a little more background to his family life. It also fits in historically as 4.5 million Irish arrived in America between 1820 and 1930 and Edward's mother would've been part of that wave of immigrants and her parents died in the potato crop of failures that began in 1845.
> 
> 3\. The earliest date for the invention of deep-dish pizza was in 1926 so Edward would've never had it as a human.


	14. Edward Sparkles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward shines bright like a diamond.

Edward scowled at everyone and everything which wasn't unusual behavior. His smiles around Jessica was actually more unnerving to their classmates so him going back to looking miserable felt more normal. As the bell rang for their last class, Jessica nearly cackled at Edward's clearly visible dread. She told Lauren she was catching a ride with Edward as he walked past them in the parking lot and made his way to the woods at the back of the school like a man going to his execution.

She had to sprint to keep up with his longer strides. He stopped right before the ray of sunlight that was passing through the tall pine trees. She waited, wiggling as she stood for heat against the cold and unaltered excitement. He turned back to her and glared, emoting that she was to blame for his misery.

"Eddie," she imitated Emily's whine. "I'm cold. Let's get on with it."

He looked like he wanted to flash the middle finger at her. Instead, he unzipped his dark blue winter coat and shrugged it off. Dropping it the ground, he wouldn't meet her eyes as he began to unbutton the blue button-down and she gaped at him. He stopped mid-way and glared at her again.

"We don't have to do this," he insisted. "I'll pay you to not make me do this."

Well, with that desperation, not for all the money in the world.

She shook her head. "You promised."

He sighed. "I'll get you anything else that you want. You want a new car? A new house? A lifetime supply of _Skittles_?"

"Nope," she replied. "Do you need music to strip to? I can sing _Careless Whisper_."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "No singing."

"I'll have you know I sing very well," she declared before she began singing. " _I'm never gonna dance again-_ "

"Stop! Stop!"

He sighed again and unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way and peeled it off, showing a torso of perfect alabaster skin. She could only stare. She finally saw what he looked like underneath all those fancy coats. She wasn't disappointed.

He was glaring at her again and with a deep shuddering breath, he stepped back and into the ray of sunlight. His skin immediately started sparkling like a layer of diamond dust covered his skin. When he moved, little sparkles of rainbow lights reflected off his face down to his abdomen. He kept still as she tried to process what she was seeing.

He waited.

She stared.

He closed his eyes in acceptance of his fate.

She burst into laughter.

She was bowled over. Laughing so hard her stomach hurt, her head hurt, and she was afraid she was going to pee herself. She was crying. Oh my freaking God.

Edward was redressing, scowling at her as she continued to laugh. She gasped in oxygen and tried to say something but all that came out were giggles. She tried to stop him as he made his way past her but he shrugged her off. She followed him, still giggling like a maniac as they made their way to the parking lot.

Most people already went home and they were alone as Edward unlocked his car and got in. She got into the passenger seat and had to bite her lip not to explode in a fit of giggles. Edward gave her a side-eye filled with contempt. Her face felt so warm and she bit into her knuckle as the giggles kept trying to escape her.

Alice and Jasper must have another ride home and it was only the two of them. Edward drove them out of the school parking lot and kept his gaze on the road. Jessica was having a hard time keeping her composure. She had never laughed like that before. She sounded like one of the hyenas from the _Lion King_.

"So…" She cleared her throat. "You turn into Sparkle the Elf?"

"Don't," He shook his head, gravely. "Don't you dare."

"Or are you more like Tinkerbell?" She smiled widely. "If I have a happy little thought, will you take me to Neverland?"

He growled. He actually growled.

She burst into laughter again, throwing her head back and she was getting lightheaded because she couldn't breathe very well. He shook his head and grumbled like the old man that he was. A sparkly, old man. Who needed jewelry when she had him around?

"I knew I shouldn't have shown you," he muttered. "I knew it."

"Thank you for showing me," She reached over and took one of his hands on the steering wheel to hold it in hers. "I haven't laughed like that before. It made me very happy."

"You're welcome," he replied, sarcastically. "Anything else I can do to amuse you?"

She smiled. "Do you glow in the dark?"

"I will crash this car on purpose."

* * *

Jessica didn't see much of her friends lately. Angela and Jacob were busy 'mentoring' a younger werewolf named 'Rhett' or something who was apparently a walking disaster. Angela had told her not to worry if she saw a big brown wolf crash into any trees as Rhett was still not quite in control of his wolf body, especially his paws. The Alpha had started a mentoring program for younger wolves and Lauren was being mentored by the only female member of the pack who was a little bit older than them and apparently the older sister of Rhett the disaster wolf.

She found herself spending more time in Edward as a result. He didn't come to her room every night as she needed sleep but when he did they would talk about his very long life and they would even debate about topics they were both interested in. It was a new thing for Jessica, not having to hide her intelligence, as the boys she dated in the past didn't like it when she would 'upstage' them by voicing her opinions. And Edward not only appreciated her thoughts (when they weren't aimed at making fun of him) but he asked for her perspective on things.

He was funnier than she would've ever expected with a dry sense of humor that was prone to sarcasm. He could be very patient with her then be as childish as she was. They would go from getting along to fighting to getting along again in a break neck speed that would've left other people reeling. He drove her insane but he also had the ability to cheer her up better than anyone (telepathy and all).

"Jessica," he called out, staring up at her as she tried to balance herself on the ladder. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she answered as she reached for the Christmas lights wrapped around the gutters of the roof. "It's nearly February. My mom says it's tacky to keep these up any longer."

This used to be her dad's job. Putting up and taking down the Christmas lights had been something he did way back even when they were living in Maine but ever since he passed away, Jessica took it upon herself to do it as her mom was usually too sad around the holidays. She hated it but it made her family happy so she held on to the ladder for dear life and hoped she didn't fall and break her neck. The things she did for love.

Edward asked, "Do you need any help?"

She looked down at him, ready to protest but realized he could be of use. He was immortal. If he fell, he wouldn't die. And while she wasn't one to pawn off work to someone else, the Christmas lights were an exception.

"If you take these down for me, I'll give you a kiss," she offered. "On the lips."

He raised an eyebrow. "You really think I can be bribed by a few kisses?"

"With tongue," she added. "And I'll let you get to second base."

He scoffed, looking away. "I am above such urges."

"No. You're not," she countered. "You're a guy."

Carefully, she climbed down the ladder slowly, minding each step until she was back on the ground. He was still not looking at her. She moved closer and put her hands on his shoulders. He looked down at her and she smiled sweetly.

"Please, Edward?" she said. "It would make me really happy."

He leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. "You are a manipulative, little demon."

"And you love me," She kissed the corner of his mouth. "Please?"

"I still get a kiss," he declared. "No backing out."

"Scout's-" She snorted at his look. " _Fine_. On my honor as a Stanley. Is that good enough?"

He pulled away from her and spun in a slow circle, looking around her neighborhood as if he was looking for something. He turned back to her and held a finger up to his lips, signaling she needed to keep quiet. Suddenly, he was gone. There was a blur of white and blue and then he was standing in front of her again, holding the bundle of Christmas lights.

She gaped at him and looked at the now bare gutters. He did it at a speed that could've broken the sound barrier. How was he that fast? Was it a vampire trait?

Edward placed down the Christmas lights in the box she brought outside then walked up to her. He looked at her expectantly. She was still trying to digest what she just saw. She kept pointing to him and the roof as if the answers would fall from the sky.

"How?" she said. "Dude, you just went full _Sonic the Hedgehog_!"

"I'm fast. It's a vampire thing," He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. "It's not a big deal. Kiss. Now."

"But-"

Whatever she was about to say was cut-off as he leaned down and kissed her. She thought she would've melted into a puddle if he wasn't holding her up. His lips were softer than she remembered and he cupped the back of her neck as he deepened the kiss. His tongue slid between her teeth and he tasted like spearmint gum. She pulled away and his cold breaths were a contrast to her burning face.

"We need to get you a stool to stand on," Edward rested his forehead against hers. "You're so short you're making my neck ache."

She gave him an annoyed look. "It's not my fault you're a skyscraper."

"I guess that's just my burden to bear," He kissed the tip of her nose. "And I wouldn't change you for anything."

The adoring gaze wasn't helping. She realized as he held her in her front yard for all her neighbors to see that she was in big trouble. Edward Cullen could break her heart and she'd be powerless to stop him. He made it so very easy to fall for him.

"I won't hurt you," he promised softly. "I'd rather die a thousand deaths than do that."

She rolled her eyes. He was so dramatic. It was always death and damnation with him. And not everything was the end of the freaking world. Dang it.

"Edward, you are the biggest drama queen I have ever met."

She pulled him down for another kiss to shut him up but also because she really wanted to.

* * *

Sunny still didn't like Edward but at least she wasn't barking at him. She would lie in the bed and give him displeased looks as he and Jessica talked. The only time she growled at him again was when Edward tried to pet her. Jessica had to calm Sunny down by petting her a lot and eventually the golden retriever left the bed and lied down on her barely used dog bed in the corner of the room.

Edward took a seat on the bed beside Jessica. "You know, one of the biggest disappointments of vampirism is that animals don't like me."

"Probably cause you eat them," she replied. "They probably see you as a predator and you are the apex predator, aside from the sparkling."

He ignored her jab. "I don't feed on dogs. I quite like them. I had a beagle named Milo when I was a child."

"What happened to him?"

"He died of old age," Edward smiled. "He got so fat he could barely walk without getting out of breath. He was a good boy though. He liked to lie down on the rug in the drawing room as I practiced piano."

She smiled, picturing a fat beagle watching a smaller Edward as he practiced Chopin. _He died of old age_. Like the many people that an immortal would meet. They must be like ghosts to him. _She_ must be like a ghost.

"No, you're not," He cupped her face in his hands. "You were like the rain after a decade-long drought. I didn't know I was missing you until you were there."

She closed her eyes, trying not to cry or smile. She didn't even know the mess of emotions going through her. She retreated to the familiar comfort of jokes.

"Did you say that to all the girls?" She imagined hundreds of girls over the years, aging and dying in front of him as he stayed the same. Ghosts. "Or did you make that up just for me?"

"Stop it," he said firmly. "There were no other girls. I didn't want anyone."

She opened her eyes and questioned, "Then what makes me so special?"

"You made me smile after a lifetime of me cursing my existence," he stated. "So, get the thought that you're nothing to me out of your head. I told you I love you. And I don't say such things lightly."

She wanted to point out that she would grow old and die. He would watch her wither away into nothing and she would be buried beside her dad. Part of mortality was knowing how short a time they had as they searched for meaning in that existence, hoping desperately they mattered as a speck in the great universe. There was no denying that someday she would be a gone and she would be like Milo, just another memory to him.

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. "What do I need to say? Help me, Jessica. I don't know what to say to make you feel better."

"What am I to you?'

"You are the girl I love," he said. "Can't that be enough for now? Let's not talk about death and age. That will come. Right now, just let me love you."

There were a million things unsaid but they let would not give them life just yet. She was nearly eighteen and there was a boy that loved her. It didn't matter what he was or when he was born. And she knew that very soon she would love him too.

"Okay," she replied. "No more talk about sad, morbid things."

He opened his eyes and smiled at her. His lips left a feather soft kiss at her cheek. "I love you."

"I know," Her lungs felt like they weren't breathing in air properly. Stupid things. "And just to be sure, I'm your girlfriend, right?'

He laughed softly. The sound was deep and husky.

"Of course. What else did you think you were?"

"I just had to make sure."

It was one of the few things in life she could be sure of. Everything else was up in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just romantic fluffy goodness. 
> 
> 1\. Rhett the disaster wolf is Seth if you didn't catch that. I decided to give him Bella's clumsiness cause a teenage boy who's a disaster is too funny.  
> 2\. Tinkerbell is from J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan.  
> 3\. Sonic the Hedgehog is from a Japanese video game series and media franchise created and owned by Sega.  
> 4\. Milo is my own creation. I like beagles.  
> 5\. The ghosts line is inspired by Clara in Doctor Who when she said, "I am a ghost. To you I'm a ghost. We're all ghosts to you. We must be nothing."  
> 6\. Chapter title is from HIMYM's Robin Sparkles.


	15. Stupid Cupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica serenades Edward.

Jessica had to stay at school after classes for a Student Council meeting. Valentine's Day was coming up and the Singing Telegrams were going to be implemented again this year which meant they had to have auditions for people who wanted to be part of the band. The council members had dubbed the band 'The Sweethearts'. The telegrams were started in their Freshman Year by that year's Student Council and Jessica had joined the band as a joke. She underestimated how many times she would have to sing _I Want It That Way_ and had spent the whole day, hunting people down and practically assaulting them with the lyrics.

She didn't want to join the band this year but all the council members had pleaded she reconsider. She only gave in with the condition that the Backstreet Boys could not be requested. Angela borrowed her mom's guitar and Lauren acted as band manager, taking care of requests and collecting payment. Eric and Ben Chenney designed shirts for the band and Katie Marshall printed them for free at her parents' store.

They reluctantly came to school wearing the horrifying t-shirts that had a big smiling cartoon heart holding a microphone. Edward was waiting by her locker, holding up a big bouquet of roses. He burst into laughter at her t-shirt and she smacked him on the arm. It didn't deter him and he hid his face behind the bouquet as he howled like a hyena.

"I am doing this for the enjoyment of people," she told him, tartly. "I don't appreciate you laughing at me."

"Your altruism is admirable," he replied, that stupid smile showing off his perfect white teeth. "I'm surprised you're not wearing angel wings to go with the aesthetic."

Angela appeared, carrying a cardboard box. Jessica frowned when she saw what was inside. Oh no. This was beyond the pale.

"Hi, Jess, Edward," her best friend greeted them. "Katie and I spent all night making these so please just take a pair and put them on."

"I didn't agree to costumes," Jessica argued. "This is extortion."

"We're all wearing them," Angela was wearing a pair of wings and a headband with a glittery halo. "I don't have time to force you into them so…Edward, could you please grab a pair for Jessica and use any means to get her to wear them?"

"Gladly."

Edward grabbed a pair of those Cupid wings and a headband with his free hand. He turned to Jessica and shook the offensive things at her. She slapped his hand away. Angela ran off to find other members of the band to harass while Jessica cursed herself for ever letting people know she could sing.

"Jessica," he said. "You can put them on willingly or I will get Jasper to use his powers on you. Angela did say 'any means'."

She snatched the wings from him and dropped her backpack on the ground to put them on. "You're a monster."

He just smiled at her and placed the headband on her, straightening the wire that kept up the halo. "There. You look very cute."

"I am not cute," she grumbled. "I am terrifying."

"Like a hamster."

He handed her the bouquet and she felt so silly, holding that giant bouquet while looking like a dollar store Cupid.

"I hate you."

"Whatever you say," he said before asking. "Who do I request the songs to?"

She glared at him. "Don't you dare."

He didn't say anything and walked away from her. She watched him go and wondered what he was planning. If he was going to do what she thought he was, she was driving his cursed Volvo into the ocean. And she needed to find Lauren before he did.

The first batch of songs weren't so bad. They were mostly cheesy pop songs with the occasional ballad. She glared at the set list when she realized that Edward did find Lauren and spent a lot of money. This was payback for all the jokes and he was going to milk it for all it was worth.

Like a prisoner to their execution, she trailed behind the band, dragging her feet as they entered the English classroom. Mr. Munroe let them do their thing and they made their way to where Edward was seated at the back of the classroom. Jessica scowled at his smug face. He sat back and stared at her expectantly.

Lauren smiled in that catty sadistic way of hers as she stated, "This is for Edward from Jessica."

She scowled at the blonde. The traitor. Angela began strumming the song with her guitar as Eric, Tyler, and Katie sang the first lines together. Jessica took a deep breath before she began to sing.

The class was quiet as they watched. Edward didn't look away at her, his smile never dropping. She resisted giving him the bird.

" _If I could be sweet, I know I've been a real bad girl. I didn't mean for you to get hurt,"_ she sang. " _We can make it better. Tell me, boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?"_

He rested his chin on his hand and smiled wider if it was possible. She glared at him as she continued singing. He was such a butthole. She was going to definitely punch him.

Jessica had never been so relieved for the day to be over. She took off the damn wings and glitter halo and threw them into her locker, hoping she never had to see them again. She made her way outside to the parking lot, eager to get home when Edward appeared in front of her, blocking her path. She tried to move past him and he blocked her way again.

She stopped and sighed in exasperation. "You are peak annoying today."

"Mission accomplished then," He took her hand that was not holding the bouquet of roses. "Let me drive you home."

"After you made me sing _I Want It That Way_ during Chemistry?" It had been horrifying even with the standing ovation from their classmates. "I'm not getting into a car with you."

"It's a good song."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You know I hate that song. You and your Jedi mind tricks looked deep into my soul and knew just what to torture me with."

"I did for the amusement of the people," he replied, not even a little bit apologetic. "You should admire my altruism. I was following your example."

"You are a monster," She pulled away from him. "And I wish I never met you."

She made her way past him and towards where Lauren and Angela were waiting by the Prius. Edward was chuckling to himself, the evil mastermind that he was, and she got into the car. If he even thought about going to visit her at her house, he better bring chocolate. She buckled her seatbelt on as Lauren began to drive.

She couldn't help herself and turned to look outside the car rear window. Edward was still standing there. He waved at her. She raised her hand and gave him the finger.

* * *

Edward appeared at her window, carrying a big heart-shaped box. It was that expensive chocolate she always eyed whenever she went grocery shopping. Jessica only had it once when Mike bought Lauren a box when they were dating and she gave it to Jessica because she didn't like sweets. There were some days that she would dream of that tasting that chocolate again.

It was the sight of the chocolate that made her open the door instead of letting him freeze outside like he deserved. He didn't immediately hand her the box, held it high above her head so she couldn't reach. She considered kicking him in the shins. Grinning, he lowered his arm and offered the box to her.

She snatched it from him before he tried to dangle it above her again. She held the box carefully as she sat on her bed and untied the red ribbon. She put away the letter that came with it and eagerly opened the box. She swore she heard a choir of angels singing.

She stared down at the little chocolates in the box and wanted to caress them lovingly. Picking up one, she bit into it and closed her eyes as chocolate and cherry liqueur exploded in her mouth. It was even better than she remembered. She was making sex noises.

She opened her eyes and Edward was standing at the side of her bed, bemused. She smiled at him serenely. Life couldn't get any better than this. She reached for another chocolate.

He took a seat on the bed across from her, picking up the letter she had put aside. "Don't you want to read it?"

"Did you write me a love letter?" she teased. "Is there a poem about how beautiful I am?"

He rolled his eyes and handed the envelope to her. "Why don't you find out?"

She must've moved to fast as she opened the envelope and pulled up the card inside because she hissed as the paper left a cut on her finger. A bright red droplet swelled up and stayed on her pointer finger. Instinctively, she was about to put her aching finger in her mouth when a strong, cold hand stopped her.

She looked up and Edward's face was entranced with the blood on her finger. His pupils were dilated, the black almost overtaking the gold irises. She didn't stop him as he pulled her finger towards him. His mouth opened and closed around the digit, sucking lightly. She felt a flash of heat travel down her abdomen as his tongue licked her skin clean.

Slowly, he dragged his mouth away from her finger but still held unto her hand. His eyes were still staring into hers. She moved first, hands curling around his neck as she pressed her mouth against his. She was practically in his lap, wrapped around him as he kissed her back, his hands drawing her even closer to him as the kiss deepened.

She had only kissed Edward Cullen a handful of times and she thought that had to be a crime. Kissing him was a lovely experience. His lips were soft, he tasted like sweet mints, and he reacted to every little thing she did. He even smelled nice, like pine, snow, and gingerbread cookies. He smelled like freaking Christmas.

It had to be part of his genetic makeup. It had to be ambush predation, to lure their prey until they couldn't escape by tricking them with enticement. He was designed to lure her, to make her want him. Make her compliant as he bit into her neck…

He pulled away abruptly, dropping her on the bed as he sped to the other side of the room, facing the wall. He leaned his head against the wall, shoulders heaving deep breaths as he struggled with control. She sat up on the bed and waited. A part of her knew that she was in danger, the sitting duck, if he decided to prey on her.

"I wouldn't…" he groaned. "I couldn't…I could never feed on you."

"Do you want to?" She knew she was tempting fate. "Does it hurt to stop yourself?"

"The hunger burns," he answered. "Down my throat. I can barely think."

That sounded unpleasant. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Don't move."

She held still. She was too afraid to even breathe. Even Sunny sensed that she shouldn't move and she kept still in her dog bed. Seconds passed by before she finally inhaled. Edward's shoulders drooped.

She asked, "Are you okay?"

"I need to go," He sped to the window in a blur. "I'll see you at school."

He was gone. She got up and looked out the open window, wrapping her arms around herself as the cold wind breezed into her room. She tried to find his silhouette in the darkness and found nothing. She looked down at her finger, the one he had licked the blood from and wondered how one little drop could cause have him so undone.

* * *

Edward was not at school the next day. His siblings were there and she approached Alice in the hallway, too worried to care about how awkward it would be. The shorter girl was sketching something in a notebook and seemed oblivious to her surroundings. Jessica had to tap her on the shoulder to get her attention.

Alice didn't look up as she continued with her drawing. "Hi, Jess."

"Is Edward okay?" she asked. "Last night…we had a bit of a moment and I'm worried that's why he's not here."

"I know about that," Alice replied. "Don't feel bad. It's not your fault."

"It kinda feels like it is. I was clumsy and I got that stupid paper cut," Jessica sighed. "Is there anything I can do to help him?"

"Nothing really," Alice stopped with her sketching and finally looked up. Her golden eyes were somber. "The hunger is harder for others. Edward prided himself on his control but even he is not infallible."

Jessica still felt that pang of guilt. She should've been more careful around him. She had been poking a bear and expected not to get hurt. Last night could've ended so much worse.

"He forgets what he is when he's with you," Alice continued. "He gets to pretend to be human and even he can believe the lie for a few moments. But never forget what he really is. We are what we are."

Jessica felt stricken. "What do I do?"

"He'll be back tomorrow," she replied. "Pretend like nothing happened. Let him have his moments of humanity. It brings him happiness."

"The lie?"

"No, silly," Alice smiled, knowingly. "You."

Jasper appeared. He looked miserable as always. He eyed the band aid she'd wrapped around her finger then turned away. Alice took his hand and led him down the hallway, away from everyone.

 _We are what we are._ There was a truth she couldn't deny. She had been pretending that Edward was human too. His vampirism like an inside joke between them that couldn't hurt anyone. But he wasn't human.

 _She_ was human. She was breakable and she bled so easily. They would walk on eggshells and hoped she never got hurt and he wouldn't be tempted again. Her mind was a cloud of confusion. What must it be like for Edward? To love someone he wanted to kill?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is all rainbows and sparkles in Jessica and Edward's wonderland.
> 
> 1\. The song Jessica sings is The Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani which did come out in 2007. I listened to the Taylor Swift cover of the song while writing. 
> 
> 2\. The Singing Telegram is inspired by the film To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You.
> 
> 3\. Jessica isn't Edward's singer so while her blood is tempting, it doesn't drive him to distraction. Fresh blood, however, will truly test his control.
> 
> 4\. Chapter title is from the song by Connie Francis.


	16. Winnie: Fully Loaded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica turns eighteen.

Jessica had always worn her heart on her sleeve. Her emotions poured out of her like spilled coffee and staining everything around her. She knew part of the reason why people found her exhausting to be around was that she could not hide how she felt no matter how hard she tried. There was a kind of likability to such transparency, an admiration of honesty, before that like turned to exasperation.

People had told her she was too much. She tried too hard. She cared too much. And when she tried to be less, suddenly she wasn’t enough.

She wasn’t trying enough. She didn’t care enough. And she wondered if she would ever be – just right. Like Goldilocks finding the perfect combination, she would be ‘just right’ someday.

A fear she tried to bury within her as deep as she could was that she would never be that perfect amount. That she would stay unbalanced, a girl of extremes that would exhaust people to the point they would abandon her. Leave her for better, prettier girls who would always be exactly what people needed. For girls that never had to doubt their worth to people.

Love was terrifying to her. For all her chasing of Mike Newton all these years, she had never really wanted him to love her back. She realized that maybe she had obsessed over him because she knew he was incapable of loving her. The actual reality of being loved felt overwhelming.

She knew it would get worse. That she would struggle harder to be what version of her they loved. Maybe they fell in love with her on the days she got it just right. And it would be worse when they decided to leave her.

Falling in love with Edward Cullen took her by surprise. Not as much as him being vampire but it had been disorienting just the same. He had told her he loved her first and a part of her wanted to believe him so badly. Because if this beautiful boy, this creature of myth, could love her then maybe she wasn’t so bad. She could just be herself.

He was hiding in the music room, playing Chopin again. It was the Nocturne piece he played when he was feeling down. She closed the door behind her and took a seat on a chair, content to let him finish. The last note echoed in the room.

She waited for him to speak. He still wouldn’t look at her.

“The other night,” he said. “I…I almost lost control. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she replied. “It’s not your fault.”

“It is though. I’m responsible for myself,” he returned, firmly. “It doesn’t matter what I am. I’m in control of my nature.”

She got up and walked to him, standing over him. “Hey. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s like that scene where Bruce smelled Dory’s blood. He’s still a nice shark. And he didn’t eat her and Marlin so it all worked out.”

He shook his head. “This isn’t a Pixar film, Jessica. I could’ve hurt you. You wouldn’t have been able to run away or fight me off. I would’ve torn into your neck before you could even scream.”

“But you didn’t,” she countered. “You stopped yourself.”

“This time. What about next time?” He sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair. “If you trip and skin your knee or cut your hand while you’re cooking, it takes one mistake and it’s over.”

“I’ll be more careful,” she insisted. “I promise.”

“We can never be careful enough.”

Enough. The word made her heart want to stop beating. Her eyes began to water. She asked, “Why does it feel like you’re breaking up with me?”

“It would be for the better,” he answered. “You would be safer.”

“And happier?” she returned. “Will you be happier without me?”

He got to his feet, wiping the tears at the corner of her eyes with his thumbs. “Don’t you see, Jessica? I’m a walking death sentence.”

“I love you,” The words spilled out of her and she couldn’t stop them. “This is the worst timing ever but if you’re gonna break my heart then you should know that. I love you and your stupid hair and the way you smile at me like I’m the funniest person in the world.”

“Jessica-”

“I love you even when I _really_ want to punch you in the face when you’re being a butthole. I love you when you talk to me about your life cause you’re as old as God and you never run out of stories,” she continued. “And I love you even knowing that a part of you really wants to drain me of my blood like I’m a jumbo size juice box.”

He snorted. “Jumbo size is a stretch.”

“Can you not right now, dude?” He was such a butthole. He had to ruin this moment by being himself. “I am pouring my heart out to you and you’re making jokes?”

“It’s part of our dynamic,” He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers. “And you know you wouldn’t want things any other way.”

The fact he was right just made him more of a smug butthole. She kissed his mouth, lightly. “And I love you anyway.”

“Sounds like a you problem,” He chuckled and pulled her into a hug. “We’ll just have to make this work, huh?”

This would have to be enough for now. She loved a boy and he loved her back. Everything else didn’t have to matter. The only thing that mattered was that moment.

* * *

Jessica’s mom had agreed on finally getting her a car for her eighteenth birthday as she knew her daughter was planning on going to college out of state. Jessica didn’t know what kind of car her mom would be buying for her but she wasn’t expecting anything fancy. Then, on the weekend before her birthday, Jacob Black arrived in a yellow Chevy. Her mother dragged her outside and Jacob smiled at them as he got out of the truck.

“Good morning, Mrs. Stanley, Jessica,” he greeted them. “Does the truck pass inspection?”

Jessica’s mom turned to her. “I don’t know, Jess. Why don’t you check it out?”

“Did you…” Jessica gaped at her. “Is the truck for me?”

“If you want it,” Jacob answered. “I’m also working on restoring a dirt bike if that’s more your speed.”

Jessica ignored him. “No freaking way!”

She made her way to the truck, circling it and trying to inspect everything from the wheels to the hood. She ran back to her mom and seized her in a hug.

“Thank you! Thank you!”

“It’s a little early for your birthday but I thought you’d like to drive to school instead of having to rely on Lauren so much,” her mom said. “And Jacob told me it should be fine for driving to California.”

California. Stanford. Her mom didn’t even know she was getting in cause a vampire who could see the future told her she was and she got her a car anyway. Her mom’s faith in her made her want to cry.

Instead, she got inside the truck and Jacob gave her some pointers on how to drive a truck.

“This is a 1966 Chevy. Lovingly restored by me so take good care of her,” he told her. “I even put on a fresh coat of paint as a freebie.”

“Why yellow?”

“Lauren told me it’s your favorite color.”

“No, it’s not,” She shook her head. “My favorite color is dusty rose.”

“Oh,” Jacob looked thoughtful. “I have a feeling Lauren is playing a prank on you.”

Yellow. Edward’s eyes. Lauren was an evil little demon. She explained it to Jacob who just laughed.

“Well, Cullen will probably like it then,” Jacob joked.

“Oh, he will,” Edward would find it funny if not flattering to his ego. “I should name this car Eddie Jr.”

“Don’t curse the poor thing,” he replied. “And the Chevy’s a girl.”

“Edwina then.”

Jacob laughed again.

Monday morning she drove to school and happily showed off her new truck to her friends. Edward and his siblings arrived at the parking lot and she went to greet Edward as he was getting out of his curst Volvo. Confused by her enthusiasm, he let her drag him to see her truck. Edward was not amused by the name she’d chosen.

“You’re not naming a truck ‘Edwina’,” he said. “Who gives a car a name like that?”

“I do,” she replied, defensively. “And it’s Winnie for short.”

“I know I should be flattered but I have a feeling you’re just insulting me again,” He looked over Winnie and inspected her. “Why did you pick a yellow truck?”

“Cause it’s the color of your eyes.”

It disturbingly was the exact shade and she wondered if Jacob and Lauren spent hours looking over paint swatches to find the right one. Knowing Lauren, they probably did.

She added, “And she’s an older broad like you except Pangea wasn’t around when she was born.”

He gave her a look. “How do you not run out of these jokes?”

“My mind is a bottomless well,” She looked over to where his Volvo was parked as they began walking from the parking lot to the school building. “I never got to ask. What’s your car’s name?”

“It doesn’t have a name,” he answered. “I don’t feel the need to name inanimate objects.”

“Well, in that case, we should give him or her a name,” she suggested. “I think Jessica is a good name.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“And have it randomly stop working in front of Retirement Homes?”

She laughed. “Okay. What about Moses then?”

He looked confused. “Moses?”

“Yeah,” She smiled. “You went to school with him when you were kids, right?”

He didn’t reply to that. They made their way inside the building and he walked away from her to get to his next class. She waved at him as he ignored her.

* * *

Wednesday came and Angela baked a small pink buttercream frosting cake for her birthday. Jessica had squealed at the sight of it. Lauren put a plastic silver crown on Jessica’s head and they all ate the cake at lunch. Edward was sitting at their table with them which was only a little bit awkward.

Edward did not eat his slice of cake and it sat untouched in front of him. Jessica eyed it and he slid it over to her.

“Isn’t it a bit weird Jess that your actual birthday only comes every four years?” Eric asked. “Shouldn’t that technically make you about four-years-old?”

“That’s not how leap year birthdays work, Eric,” Tyler told him. “Most people just celebrate it on the twenty-eight.”

“Yeah, but it only comes around every four years so you shouldn’t really get to celebrate until then…”

Jessica tuned out that pointless conversation and unwrapped the present Lauren got for her. It was a red Stanford sweatshirt.

“Oh, Laur, thank you” Jessica pulled her into a hug. “You’re the best.”

“As if anyone doubts you’d get in,” the blonde told her as she pulled away. “I thought you’ll need a little motivation to keep you going till graduation.”

“I love it,” Jessica hugged the soft fabric to her cheek. “I’m going to wear it all the time.”

Eric surprised her by giving her a scrapbook of photos he took of all of them over the years. She had been touched by the thoughtfulness. It must’ve taken him a while to find all those photos. He even had a few of them going back as far as grade school. It looked like a montage of her life.

She found herself staring at the photos as she got home. There was a photo taken before they took the yearly field trip to the Forks Timber Museum back in the sixth grade. They all looked so young. They looked like tinier versions of themselves. Edward was looking at the photos too, his expression pensive.

She asked, “What are you thinking?”

“Just that you had a whole life before I moved here,” He answered. “I knew you did but sometimes I wonder…”

“Wonder what?”

“What it would’ve been like if I was born here around this time,” He smiled wistfully. “What kind of person I would’ve been if I grew up with those kids in the photos.”

“Probably a lot less maudlin,” she teased him but took his hand in hers. “Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if I had been born earlier?”

“Honestly?” he said. “We would be married by now.”

“Married?”

“Maybe when you turned sixteen,” he continued. “Things were different. Girls finished school at age fifteen. If they were from a well-off family, they would be looking for a husband. Women would only be working if they had little means.”

“So, in this hypothetical world, we meet at age sixteen and get married before you go off to war?” It didn’t sound that pleasant. “And if you survive the war, we have to deal with a pandemic later?”

He nodded. “Pretty much. And if we survive the pandemic, we have to deal with the Great Depression and another war.”

“That sounds like a nightmare,” Jessica confessed. “I’m kind of happy I was born in this century.”

“Despite all my misgivings, I wouldn’t change our story,” He cupped her face and kissed her gently. “Happy Birthday, Jessica.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit late. We had a storm and the power was out. Not fun. 
> 
> 1\. Jessica's birthday isn't revealed so I chose February 29th.  
> 2\. Jessica gets a yellow Chevy cause one of my favorite films, Keith, features a yellow truck. It's basically Bella's truck by painted yellow.  
> 3\. In my research of the Progressive Era, I learned that women left school at age 15 and got married not long after. While the men went off to college when they weren't fighting in wars.  
> 4\. Bella romanticized a lot of earlier times as most people tend to do without thinking about how those earlier times weren't all that great at times. Especially in the treatment of women.  
> 5\. Chapter title is a play on the film 'Herbie: Fully Loaded'.


	17. Top Of The Morning!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Jessica didn't want to have this conversation with Lauren. But Angela grew red as a tomato when anything beyond a PG rating was discussed and Jessica would rather jump off the cliff at La Push than discuss sex with her mom. Her only option was to talk to Lauren for advice. She wasn't sure about taking the next step with Edward who always kept his hands strictly at her waist when they would make out and seemed oblivious to any of her hints despite the telepathy.

Lauren was recovering from the full moon that weekend and would be at her house. Jessica was in luck because Jacob wasn't skulking around and Angela wasn't hovering over Lauren like a mother hen. Lauren let her in and the blonde went back to the couch where she had been resting. There was an empty bowl and a half-empty mug of ginger ale on the coffee table.

Jessica took a seat on the couch by Lauren's feet. She told her friend about the situation. Lauren listened and uncharacteristically let her finish without interrupting her. Jessica tried not to blush. She wasn't a virgin for Pete's sake.

Lauren reached for the mug of ginger ale and asked, glibly, "Can Cullen even have sex?"

Jessica sputtered. "Of course he can…I think. He's undead, not _dead_."

"I don't know how it works with vampires," the blonde replied, "For all we know it's all just biting and playing piano by candlelight."

"You've watched too much _Interview with the Vampire_ ," Jessica pointed out. "His living with three married couples and he's mentioned how uncomfortable that gets."

"Being the only one not having sex in the vampire cave?"

"Every time I try anything he stops me and just wants to talk about a dead poet," she griped. "I want orgasms, not literary discussions."

"Maybe they're the same thing to him. Maybe he's asexual," Lauren sipped her mug. "Have you tried to talk to him about it?"

"He's a literal mind-reader!"

"He's still a _guy_."

Jessica slumped against the couch cushions and voiced out her real concern. "Maybe he doesn't find _me_ attractive."

Edward was so aesthetically pleasing, it was ridiculous. There were some moments she found herself just wanting to stare at him until she snapped out of it and remembered that he was still the same nerd who got mad when people dog-eared books. She still couldn't ignore the fact that they must look mismatched together. She noticed their classmates staring at them and wondering why of all people Edward Cullen decided to date that it was just plain old Jessica Stanley.

Lauren scoffed. "I'm not Cullen's biggest fan but he doesn't seem the type to date anyone he doesn't feel anything for. He _stalked_ you cause he wanted to know where you were all the time. When you were ignoring him at school, he walked around like you shot his dog."

She remembered when he confessed his feelings to her. _I hate it when you ignore me_. He told her he loved her frequently. And he put up with all of her teasing. He did care for her but did he want to be intimate with her?

"You know what I think?" Lauren said. "You should just be up front and ask him if he wants to have sex with you. Or wait in bed wearing sexy lingerie. Or mentally assault him with porn or something. Whatever works."

Jessica did not like any of her ideas. She was sure Edward would freak out and run away or worse he would laugh at her. Like the sight of her naked body might make him wish he _did_ die of the Spanish flu. Or make him realize he wasn't even into women at all.

She groaned. "You suck at giving advice."

Lauren shrugged. "That's Weber's forte. I'm better at stating uncomfortable truths."

* * *

Jessica had a plan. She realized how difficult it was to surprise a telepath but after some advice from Alice, she was doing a good job of keeping Edward in the dark. She had been mentally thinking about Rick Astley's _Never Gonna Give You Up_ every time he was near and he gave her confused looks all week long. She had done some shopping and the day finally came to execute her plan.

Thursday morning she arrived to school dressed in a green dress, green leggings, and a pair of green suede boots she got on sale. She was getting some looks but she ignored them as she made her way to where Edward was standing by his locker. He raised his eyebrows at the sight of her.

"Top of the morning to ya, Eddie!" she exclaimed in a very poor imitation of an Irish accent. "Happy St. Patrick's Day!"

He gaped at her. "What?"

"You're half-Irish!" she replied. "We should be celebrating your heritage today. I would've gotten you green beer but since you don't drink that…"

She reached into her bag and pulled out the green leprechaun hat she found at the Dollar Plus store. She showed it off like she was one of those _Deal or No Deal_ girls. "You like?"

He stared at her, bemused. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome!" She reached up and put it on his head. "There. Your Irish-ness is becoming more apparent."

He sighed but didn't take off the hat. He asked sarcastically, "Should I attempt river dancing as well?"

"If you like," Jessica reached into her backpack again and pulled out a green t-shirt. She had to make a guess at his size. "This is for you so we can match."

He took off the leprechaun hat. "I'm not putting that on, Jessica."

"But I got dressed up for you," she countered. "And I went out of my way to find us outfits. It's too bad the nearest parade is in D.C. cause I would've dragged you there too."

"Yes, too bad we can't go," He sighed deeply and took the green shirt. "I am only doing this because I love you."

"Yay!" She wrapped her arms around him a hug. "Happy St. Patrick's Day."

Despite himself, he was smiling. "Happy St. Patrick's Day."

They got stares from everyone. Jasper had stopped and stared at them for a full minute before bursting out into laughter much to everyone's shock. No one had ever seen him smile before let alone laugh. Alice had to drag him away as Edward looked like he was ready to behead his brother.

Her friends had teased them but Jessica grinned and bore it. This wasn't about them. Those little shits. And this was all part of her plan so they could suck it.

She discarded the green clothes when she got home and nervously tidied up her room. Banishing Sunny to the living room, she lighted candles. She had considered playing music but that might attract her mom's attention so she had to forgo the ambiance for not getting caught. She carefully applied red lipstick, pushing past her nerves to get the task done.

Edward was always very punctual and always arrived after dinner at the exact time. He always knocked on her window before letting himself in. He was still wearing that stupid green shirt she got him though he had discarded the hat. Closing the window behind him, he looked around the room and paused at the sight of the candles. She smiled nervously and waited for him to look at her.

He asked, joking dryly, "Did you not pay the electric bill?"

She explained, "It's called mood lighting,"

Steeling herself, she untied the sash of her robe, the material parting and she pushed them down to show off the green bra she was wearing underneath. Edward froze. She put the robe aside. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at him again.

"Do you wanna come over here?"

He took two steps before he stopped and turned away. "Jesus Christ."

"It's Jessica, actually," She giggled, her nervous making her want to cover herself but she held on to her courage. "My half-naked body isn't that repulsive, right?"

"Repulsive? No, no," He still wasn't looking at her. "You're…you're nicely proportioned."

"Thank you," Why wasn't he looking at her? "I kind of think my boobs are too big for my body. I'm not complaining but they're bigger than they should be."

"That's not a bad thing…" He almost turned to look at her again but panicked and faced the wall. "Could you put something on _please_?"

Self-conscious, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you not like me like this?"

"Um…I…you look cold," he stuttered, voice nearly breaking. He coughed. "I want you to be more comfortable."

"I'm comfortable like this," She really wasn't. "Can you turn around? You're making me feel like I'm a hag here, Edward."

He turned around, one hand covering his eyes. She nearly threw a pillow at him. He was being so childish. Why did she follow Lauren's advice? Why did she think this would work?

"Edward," she said, her voice small and her insecurities pressing down harder on her than ever. "Do you not want me?"

Because how could he want _her_? It made no real sense. Maybe you could love someone and not want to be intimate with them. Sex and love could be separate and Edward didn't feel any attraction towards her.

God. She was so stupid.

"You're not stupid," He put his hand down and finally looked at her. "And I _do_ want you, Jessica, more than I've ever wanted anyone in my long existence."

Her confidence felt less bruised at that. "But?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked uncomfortable. He coughed again and looked down at the floor. If he could blush, he would be. She waited for him to explain.

"I've never been intimate with anyone."

"But…" She tried to process that. "Never? Not even once?"

He shook his head. "When I was human, there were girls I found attractive but I didn't really want to be tied down yet. Then there was a war and a pandemic after that so I didn't really get the chance."

"And after?" she asked. "That's a long time to not try anything. There had to be some vampire girls you could've experimented with."

"I told you there were no other girls before you," he replied. "I hadn't wanted anyone until you."

She nearly melted. Who was this boy? The hundred-year-old virgin, he was like that Steve Carell film but sadder. It was off for her to be the more experienced of the two. It changed how she had to approach this.

She beckoned him over and he took a seat at the end of her bed. "Okay, so you're not the most experienced. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I know you're not new to this," he said. "And I don't want to disappoint you in that regard."

"You won't. We'll go at the pace you're comfortable with," she told him. "If you want to not have sex for a while, that's okay. If you want to experiment and find out what you like first, that's also okay. We'll do this together."

"That's not the only thing," he added. "You know how fast I am. I happen to be _really_ strong."

"How strong?" she tried to joke. "Superman level?"

He nodded. "Superman level."

Oh. In other words, he could crush her with his bare hands. Well, that put a new damper on things. She frowned as he looked at her apologetically as if his super powers were his fault.

She moved closer to him. His eyes dropped down and stared at the swell of her breasts. Maybe he was attracted to her after all. She took his hand in hers and squeezed reassuringly.

"We'll be fine," she explained. "It's something we'll have to work on. And in the beginning, I should probably be the one doing the driving."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "The driving?"

"Yes," She smiled. "You lay back and I'll do the work."

He rubbed at the back of his neck again. "Um…I don't know if that's…"

"Only if you want to do this," She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. "There's no need to rush. We can do whatever you want to do for now."

His hand reached up and slid the strap of her bra down, baring her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the skin of her shoulder. The cold touch of his lips made her shiver. His other hand reached around her back to the clasp of her bra and he paused there.

She giggled. He was adorable. And maybe Lauren's advice wasn't the worst. Even if she would never tell her that.

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

He rested his forehead on her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his hair. She waited. Finally, he lifted his head and looked her in the eye.

"Rain check on the…on the sex," He smiled self-deprecatingly at his own apprehension. As if he hadn't waited decades for this. "But we can try other things?"

"Okay," She reached behind her and finally, _finally_ unclasped her bra. She grinned as his eyes widened in awe. "Other things could work."

They worked just fine. More than fine.

* * *

At school the next day, Jessica greeted Edward good morning by kissing him deeply in the parking lot in front of all their classmates. He looked dazed as she pulled away and took his hand. She smiled triumphantly at all the looks they were getting.

Jessica Stanley got _the guy_. And not just any guy, she bagged the hottest boy in school. No matter what they thought of her, she succeeded when they all had failed. She had gone to where no girl had ever gone before with Edward Cullen. These jealous witches could all go jump into a river.

Edward gave her a knowing look. She smiled innocently at him. He didn't say anything and let go of her hand. She felt bereft until he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. She was so giddy she could've screamed.

"Please don't," he said as they stopped at her locker. She unlocked it and pulled out her textbooks. "And by the way, what are you doing tomorrow?"

 _You_. She grinned as he coughed. She wondered if he would always get flustered or if that would fade over time. She was excited to find out.

He continued, "What I meant was that my family wants to meet you formally."

She had met most of the Cullens at that point. She went to school with his siblings, met his dad at the hospital due to volleyball injuries, and it was only his mom she hadn't truly met. She had heard Mrs. Cullen was young and beautiful and didn't look like she could be a mother to five teenagers. She learned these past few weeks that Edward adored his adoptive mother and meeting her would be a big thing.

"They want to meet me?" she asked. "What lies have you been telling them?"

"No lies but I may have stretched the truth a bit," he returned. "I made you sound nicer than you really are."

"Oh no. I'll have to be on my best behavior," She sighed, pretending to be despondent. "No bad jokes and inappropriate questions. What have you done, Eddie?"

He rolled his eyes and pulled her against him. "They want to meet the girl I love. You don't have to pretend to be what you aren't."

"And there goes my plan to tell them you blackmailed me into dating you."

He snorted. "As if they would believe that."

"It's totally possible," she insisted. "Here you are the only single person at the house and everyone just wants to set you up with a sexy vampire girl that looks disturbingly like Megan Fox. But not you, Eddie, you want to rebel so you bring home a human. And not as dinner."

"I'm taking you to have lunch with us actually," He kissed the tip of her nose. "And as far as rebellions go, you're a step above a rabbit."

"I'm not even at mountain lion level?" She scowled. "Or a grizzly bear?"

"You're miniature," he replied. "You fight like a hamster."

She was very offended. "Excuse me?"

"I could kill you without trying," he said matter-of-factly. "The only thing you'd hurt would be my hearing."

"I'd like to see you try it, bat boy," She pushed him away and they walked side by side towards their classroom. "You pick me up tomorrow and I'll meet the parents and charm them up to their eyeballs."

She just hoped she didn't die trying. She was meeting an entire family of vampires. Would bringing a stake with her be considered rude? Just in case.

"Stakes won't work," he told her. "And they won't eat you."

"I hope not," She would come back as a ghost and haunt him. He would never be safe. A little unsure, she asked, "Do you think they'll like me?"

They stopped outside their classroom. Edward took one of her hands and kissed the back of it. It was something straight out of an old film. Her man out of time was something else.

"They'll love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. No update yesterday. I was tired. We are eight chapters away from the end.
> 
> This story now has a trailer if you want to check that out. It's on YT. /watch?v=LmcM7LkFk1I
> 
> 1\. I am aware that canonically Edward doesn't believe in sex before marriage. But in this story he's a 105. He's earned it. I also wanted to show the importance of communication and respect in intimacy. It should be two people working on it together and not one dictating sex/no sex and practically forcing a girl to marry him.
> 
> 2\. Interview With The Vampire is a 1994 film.
> 
> 3\. Yes, Jessica did Rickroll Edward.
> 
> 4\. I made it my headcanon that Edward's mother migrated from Ireland. And Irish people don't say "Top of the morning!". That misconception started from Friends and of course Jessica adopted it.
> 
> 5\. The Steve Carrel film mentioned is The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
> 
> 6\. "You're miniature. You fight like a hamster" is from the film No Strings Attached.


	18. Remains of the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the Cullens

Mike had invited what appeared to be the entire school to his eighteenth birthday party. With his parents out of town for the weekend to attend a wedding in Vermont, Mike and the boys had sneaked in a keg or two and people were crossing the line from tipsy to drunk. Even the Cullens were invited much to Jessica's surprise. Alice and Jasper had declined going as the latter got secondhand buzz of drunken people and that was sure to make the night end badly.

Reluctantly, Edward agreed to go with her. It was the first time they would be going to a social event as a couple and they were both a little antsy on how to act. He insisted on driving Moses (or Mo as she nicknamed his Volvo) to the party instead of Winnie cause Edward said her Chevy was as slow as a turtle. Jessica had been offended. It wasn't Winnie's fault she couldn't handle Edward's _Fast and Furious_ antics.

Mike answered the door, face already red from one too many beers. He grinned brightly at them and pulled Jessica into a hug, kissing her on the cheek as he enthusiastically greeted her. Edward's glare could've melted Mike into a puddle of goo. Jessica laughed it off and pushed Mike away gently.

"Happy Birthday, Mike," she told him. "Is everyone already here?"

"Thank you, Jess. Everyone is here," he replied. "Angie and Laur came with that tall boyfriend of theirs. Eric and Ty are somewhere…"

He looked around as if he could find their friends. He swayed a little and nearly spilled the cup of beer he was holding. He snorted. "I may be a little drunk already."

"You don't say?" Edward muttered.

"Hey, man," Mike finally seemed to notice who came with her. He patted Edward in the shoulder. "Glad you could make it. There's beer and chips. Help yourselves."

He began to walk away backwards. "Bedrooms are off-limits so if you're gonna sneak off no touchy-touchy in my bed, okay? I sleep there. Gross."

They watched him disappear into the crowded house of people. Edward gave her a look.

"Remind me again why you were so into him?"

She shrugged. "He's tall."

"I'm tall."

"He's cute."

"I am also cute."

"Yes, you are," She smiled at his grumpy face. "He has a car."

"Moses is better than that pile of metal he calls a car," Edward shook his head at her. "Let's chalk it up to you being young and foolish."

"I'm still young," she admitted after a second. "And still foolish."

"I know, I know," He wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her through the maze of people. "Lucky for you, I'm wise enough for both of us."

"You're wise enough for ten people," she replied. "Since you're old as the pyramids."

He pinched her at the side, making her yelp. "Behave or I will put you in time out."

"Are you gonna take my toys away too?" she challenged. "You wouldn't dare."

He grumbled something about misbehaving children as they made their way through the house. Tyler and Eric were in the living room with other guys playing a drinking game while watching an episode of SNL. Lauren was talking casually to Katie and Ben in the kitchen. Angela and Jacob were making out in a bathroom with the door open. Jessica closed the door so people wouldn't have to keep seeing that.

* * *

They finally found the keg and Edward poured her a cup before they made their way to the back of the house to sit at the back porch away from everyone. Edward sighed in relief at finally being away from everyone and took a seat on the porch swing. Jessica took the seat beside him and slowly sipped her beer.

She remarked, "I'm guessing you don't care for parties."

"People's thoughts when they're sober are bad enough," he replied. "But drunken thoughts? They're even worse."

She laughed. "Just admit you don't want to party with the kids, granddad."

"I don't dislike parties. I dislike drunk people," he argued. "Back in my day, we had parties too but it never ended with someone vomiting in the bushes."

"Back in your day…" He was the gift that kept on giving. "What were parties like then?"

"They were more formal. The ones we had were usually so my father could discuss business with clients and partners at a more casual setting. They'd retreat in his office, smoke cigars, and drink expensive brandy," He looked lost in thought as he recalled. "My mother would be entertaining their wives and they would gossip and talk about marriage prospects for their children. There was a lot of nudging me towards their daughters and hints about grandkids."

"Poor Edward," she said, sarcastically. "All those devious mamas pushing you to settle down and start producing kids. Oh, the horror, the horror. How did you survive?"

"Ha-ha. Laugh it up, Stanley," He patted her on the nose. "And too bad for them because the girl I wanted was born in a different century."

"They are rolling in their graves," She stopped as she saw a movement in the darkness past the row of trees. "Edward, is something out there?"

He stood up and stepped down the porch steps. He peered into the darkness for a second before sprinting back up the steps in a blink of an eye. She nearly dropped her cup of beer in shock. He opened the back door.

"I'm going to get Jacob," he said. "There's a wolf out there. Try to calm him down. He's hurt."

"Wait, what-"

Edward left her and she sighed and placed her cup down. She turned back to the row of trees and tried to see anything. Apprehensively, she made her way down the steps and moved closer to the trees. There was a whimper. It reminded her of Sunny when she was in pain.

"Hello?" she called out. "I'm not going to hurt you. My name's Jessica. I'm a friend of Angela and Lauren."

The big snout was the first thing she saw before two big brown eyes was staring at her. She knew the Quileute wolves were huge but this one was smaller. His paws looked almost too big for his body like he wasn't quite done growing. She winced at the bear trap around one of his front paws.

He whimpered as he kept up the injured paw. The metal almost looked embedded into his skin. Blood had dried on the metal jaws. It looked incredibly painful.

"That look like that really hurts, buddy," she said. "Don't worry. We're getting Jacob and we're going to get that off you."

He let out another whimper, his ears flattening to his head. She held up her hand hesitantly. He lowered his head and she patted him lightly, trying to give him comfort. She tried to remember what his name was. She thought Angela mentioned it was Rhett Watersomething.

Jacob was finally there, followed by Angela and Lauren. The taller boy grimaced at the sight of the bear trap. "What'd you get yourself into now, Seth?"

The wolf whimpered again. Jessica moved to the side as Jacob assessed the injury. Angela was petting Seth's fur and trying to relax him. Lauren was texting someone on her phone.

Jacob shook his head in dismay. "What even happened here?"

"If I may?" Edward waited for permission before Jacob nodded reluctantly and he examined Seth's paw without touching him. "It looks like his body started healing itself around the bear trap so it's now embedded into his paw."

"Oh, Seth," Angela nearly cooed at him. "We're gonna fix it."

Edward told Jacob. "You can pull out the bear trap but it will tear through his paw and it will hurt."

"No shit," Jacob turned back to Seth. "I'm gonna pull it out. I need you to stay still."

Seth's big brown eyes looked terrified. Still, he didn't pull away when Jacob reached for his paw. Edward stopped him.

"I can do it," he said. "I have medical training."

Jacob looked doubtful. It was well-known the Quileutes didn't care for the Cullens but Seth's health overpowered any misgivings. He held up Seth's paw as Edward worked on removing the bear trap. It was over in a second but Seth let out a loud canine yelp as the metal teeth came off.

There were big bloody holes in his paw. And he continued crying. Angela tried to soothe him but he shook her off. He tried to run off but Jacob prevented him from going far.

"Seth, Seth," Jacob coaxed him. "Change back. You have to change back now."

Seth let out a growl and tried to shake him off. He was more animal than boy at this moment. And a wounded, trapped animal could be dangerous. Lauren was calling somebody on her phone.

"You have to issue it as a command," Edward offered. "A wolf has to obey when an Alpha issues a command."

Jacob argued. "I'm not the Alpha."

"Maybe not," Edward shrugged. "But you _are_ a Black. That has to count for something. I met your great grandfather and he held himself with power. And you are his descendant."

Jacob looked unsure before he turned to Seth who was still struggling to get away. His voice was deeper and there was a sense of power as he said, "Change back. Now."

Seth stopped moving. His transformation was quick as he became smaller. A skinny fourteen year old boy was in his place, the palm of his left hand torn and bleeding. Angela had a blanket with her and wrapped it around the boy.

"I called Leah," Lauren finally spoke. "She's going to come get you."

Seth sniffed, eyes tearing up as Angela hugged him. They made him sit down on the porch as they waited for his sister to arrive. Jacob went to get some towels and water to clean his wounds while Lauren got him something to drink. Angela stayed with Seth and he accepted her comfort.

Jessica assessed Edward. "I didn't know you had medical training."

"I have two medical degrees," he explained. "I've been to college more than a few times."

"And you don't work at a hospital with your dad because…?"

"Because people bleeding around me makes me want to kill them more," he admitted. "Not all of us have my father's impeccable self-control."

Fair point.

"And did you go to vet school too?"

"Once," he answered, looking away. "I accidentally fed on a horse. I don't want to talk about it."

* * *

Jessica was nervous. And she did what she always did when she was nervous and that was distracting herself with everything around her. She turned on the radio inside of Mo the Volvo and switched between stations until Edward slapped her hand away. She tapped her hand on her thigh repeatedly until Edward took her hand and held it in his.

She never really had too much problem with meeting parents before. Some of her past relationships ended before she ever had to meet them. Some of their parents she already knew before as Forks was a small town and everyone knew everyone so it wasn't a big deal. Meeting the Cullens was a big deal because not only was she the first human to be entering the vampire den but she was the first girl Edward had _ever_ dated.

She was sure they had high hopes and expectations for the girl that managed to end Edward's affair with every piano he came across. What if they hated her? What if they decided she wasn't good enough for him? What if they took one look at her and go, "Seriously, Edward?"

That actually might be a step up from when Edward picked her up at her house and her mother answered the door and stared at him in surprise. She had told her mother she was dating somebody but her mother must've forgotten as she asked who he was. When she explained, her mother looked at them both before slowly nodding. Emily had outright asked, "Is she paying you?"

She was about ready to disown her family. Her sister kept asking if she was being _Punk'd_. Her mother recovered and whispered to her that Edward was really handsome and that she was happy for her. This might've been sweet if Edward hadn't heard with his super hearing and looked insufferably smug as they left.

The Cullens' property was on Clearwater Road, right by Clearwater River. Their house was miles away from any neighbors and cut off from the road by a cover of trees. Edward parked the car and Jessica stepped out of the car to stare at the house. It wasn't what she was expecting.

She was expecting some gothic Victorian house with oil lamps and iron gates. Maybe a few ravens hanging about to give it that eerie atmosphere. Instead, it was a sleek modern structure with the whole front side of the house covered with windows. It looked like something out of an architecture magazine. And it was something completely different from any other house in town.

"Nice house," she remarked. "Did you buy it like that or did you have it built?"

"My mother, Esme, built it," he explained. "She has a fondness for architecture."

He opened the front door and she stepped into the house. It smelled like peppermint and gingerbread cookies. She looked up at the high ceilings as Edward led her through the house, past the living room and towards the kitchen. She found his family cooking a large feast.

She whispered to Edward, "I thought you guys didn't eat."

Dr. Carlisle looked up from the salad he was making and made his way towards her. "Jessica! Nice to see you again."

She tried not to melt. "Hi again, Dr. Cullen."

When she met him the first time, she was fourteen and had to go to the hospital for a sports injury. There was this new doctor that was in his twenties and was as handsome as a movie star. She hadn't known he was married with a brood of adopted children and fantasized about eloping with him. Of course, that didn't happen.

Edward was staring at her in disbelief. She ignored him. A brunette woman that couldn't be older than her mid-twenties came over and greeted her. She looked like a porcelain doll with her doe eyes.

"Hello, Jessica. I'm Esme," She smiled sweetly. "I'm so glad we finally get to meet. Edward's told us so much about you."

"All good things I hope," Jessica laughed nervously. "Whatever he told you otherwise is a complete lie."

"He talks very kindly of you," Esme assured her. "We're making lunch for you. I hope you like Italian."

"I _love_ Italian."

Jessica wasn't even lying. She loved Italian food. She could eat her weight in it. She probably did at her grandparents' house in Maine.

The tall, muscular man she remembered from school years of the past came around the island and proceeded to pick her up in a big hug. She let out a squeak in surprise and her put her down.

"Nice to see you again, Stanley," He offered his hand in a fist bump. She obliged, having grown up with Tyler Crowley and was used to this. "It's very nice of you for taking a chance on Edward here."

She smiled conspiringly. "Anything for charity."

Edward glared at the both of them and pulled Jessica away from his brother. "Do _not_ join forces, you imps."

Then, Rosalie Hale, perfection in physical form herself stepped forward and looked her up and down. Jessica tried not to wilt under her scrutiny. She grew up with Lauren freaking Mallory. Scary blondes weren't new to her.

"You're shorter than I remember," Rosalie remarked.

"My doctor said I may be shrinking instead of growing now actually," Jessica joked. "Before you know it, I'll be _Thumbelina_."

Emmett burst into laughter. Rosalie glared at him before walking away. He gave Jessica a salute before running after his wife. Esme wrapped her arm around Jessica's and led her towards the table in the kitchen to take a seat with her.

"Edward tells me you're planning to go to Stanford?" Esme asked. "What are you going to major in?"

They had a pleasant afternoon as Jessica demolished as much of the food as she can. Alice and Jasper stopped by and greeted her. Esme and Carlisle asked her questions about herself and they told her about their very long lives, especially Carlisle's interesting upbringing.

"You were a vampire hunter?"

Carlisle nodded uneasily. "No actual vampires were actually captured. A lot of innocent blood was spilled unfortunately."

"And this was in the 1600s so people had knowledge that vampires existed," Jessica supposed. "Perhaps, even earlier than that? Where do vampires come from?"

Carlisle looked taken aback and shared a glance with his wife. "No one really knows. The oldest vampires I've met are from Egypt. And they aren't sure where vampires started."

"Ancient Egypt then?" she queried. "Because that would make vampires almost as old as humans are if they were around during the cradle of civilization. And if they weren't first, it could be they mutated from humans themselves."

Edward looked pensive. Carlisle and Esme began to look worried.

"It could've started with a virus. A human got infected and it caused the mutation to evolve fast and create what vampires are today," Jessica continued. "And if it was a virus then-"

Carlisle reached forward and grasped her hand tightly. "You would not be the first to ask these questions, to theorize about our existence. I have met many bright minds who were interested in the secret of our immortality but I suggest not going down that path."

"Why not?"

"We have a form of government," he explained. "And they are not interested in answers. They only care for order. Many people's curiosity was put to a swift end."

She stiffened as she realized what he was implying. She moved her finger over her throat and he nodded. She shivered, feeling goose bumps crawling up the back of her neck, and he patted her hand lightly. Edward suggested he give her a tour of the house.

He eventually brought her up to his room and she inspected his large DVD collection. It made sense that he would be a Tim Burton fan. He was every male Tim Burton character squished together. He gave her a look and she grinned at him, daring him to contradict her.

"Let's watch a movie," She pulled out his DVD of _Corpse Bride_ from the shelf. "I haven't watched this one yet."

He nodded and he went to turn on the TV and DVD player. "It's about a living man marrying a dead woman, hence, the title."

"Oh. Kind of like us," she pointed out. "They have a happy ending, right?"

He paused for a second, keeping his back to her. "Of course they do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is Jessica so interested in the origin of vampires? Wouldn't you be too? And she's going into a field where she studies the makeup of living creatures so she can't help herself. And maybe she's interested in what the existence of vampires say about human evolution. Maybe there's gonna be a sequel about it. Who knows.
> 
> 1\. Mike isn't interested in Jess. He just gets really affectionate when he's drunk.
> 
> 2\. Thumbelina is a 1994 animated film.
> 
> 3\. Corpse Bride is a 2005 stop-motion animated film. Edward would be the type to like Tim Burton (at least his older work). Jessica's sister, Emily, isn't named after the title character. It was just the first name to pop into my head.
> 
> 4\. Chapter title is from a song in Corpse Bride.


	19. Legacies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baking, talking, letters - the usual.

Jessica's mother was a cheerful woman. She tried to keep her spirits up as much as she could despite the state of the economy and having to raise two daughters all by herself. She never complained and she was for most of the year an impenetrable force. She only ever showed sadness twice a year.

During the Christmas season, there was the anniversary of her husband's death and in April there was their wedding anniversary. The first year after her father's death, their mother dropped them off at the Webers' to spend the night while she spent the whole day by herself in the house. The next day, their mom picked them up and it was like nothing happened. Jessica saw through her mom's fake smiles and the next year when the anniversary rolled around again, she made an awful chocolate cake that collapsed when she took it out of the oven.

Her mother had laughed at the mess and hugged her even with tears in her eyes. It became another tradition that Jessica had taken upon herself for the family. Her dad couldn't be there to go celebrate his anniversary with his wife so Jessica was going to bake a cake for her mom to show her how much they loved and appreciated her. Since she was going to be at college this time next year, she had to pass this responsibility over to Emily. Her sister had no idea how to bake and it was going to be a long day of trial and error.

Edward tagged along as they went to the supermarket to buy ingredients. He pushed the cart as Jessica picked things off the shelves. She gave Emily the grocery list and taught her what exact things she needed to make a cake. Her sister frowned as she looked at two different brands of cake flour.

She asked, "What's the difference?"

"The price," Jessica took the cheaper one and threw it in the cart and returned the more expensive one on the shelf. "Consumerism. They're trying to sell you the same thing but more expensive."

"You're paying the extra dollars for the brand," Edward added. "Don't give in to their shady marketing tactics."

Emily frowned as she processed this. This was the first time she was really hanging out with Edward and didn't know what to make of him. She asked him again earlier if Jessica had bribed him to date her. Jessica was not amused.

The rest of the shopping trip consisted of Emily asking more questions. Like what was the difference between white eggs and brown eggs? Why was there white sugar and brown sugar? Why does food coloring only come in a certain amount of colors? And so on.

Thankfully, they got everything they needed and they made their way back to the house. Edward drove a lot slower when Emily was in the car which made Jessica a bit jealous as he always drove like a madman when _she_ was in the car. Jessica usually held unto the car door and her seat belt, constantly tense as Edward drove at a hundred miles per hour and swerved around like he thought he was Paul freaking Walker. By the time they arrived at their destination, she would step out of the car on shaky limbs relieved she survived and was on land again.

Edward hid his smug smile and she glared at him. He parked the car especially slowly and carefully as if he was mocking her. They made their way inside and to the kitchen and Jessica looked for her copy of Nana Caroline's chocolate cake recipe. Edward and Emily had emptied out the ingredients on the island and she took out a mixing bowls and a whisk from the cabinets.

"Okay, squirt," Jessica held up the small index card where Nana Caroline's recipe was written. "This is Nana's personal recipe. She doesn't give this out to anyone but she gave it to us so we have to guard it with our lives."

Edward looked over her shoulder to see the recipe and she elbowed him away. "This is a family secret! Not for your eyes, Cullen."

He nearly rolled his eyes. "I don't even eat cake."

"No, but you might enter a baking competition using _my_ Nana's recipe," She clutched the card to her chest protectively. "And _when_ you win they're gonna praise you for this _amazing_ recipe you created but it's _not_ yours. It's my Nana's and you _stole_ it."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Jesus Christ."

Emily was watching their interaction back and forth and asked, "How did you two end up together?"

"Besides me being so pathetic I bribed him?" Jessica returned sarcastically before saying, "What really happened is that he wooed me with roses and played piano for me."

"Like in those old movies," Emily grinned. "Gene and Judy."

Jessica caught the _Me and My Gal_ reference as she would switch out _Singing in the Rain_ for that movie or _Summer Stock_. She felt something in her melt. Their dad would've been proud. She beckoned Emily closer to her as she showed her the recipe and she taught her sister how to break an egg with one hand.

Edward watched them bake for a few minutes. Emily complained when she had to mix the batter and that her arm was hurting. Edward took over for her sister after the younger girl pouted at him and it earned him a bright smile. They ended up with a round cake with chocolate icing sloppily smothered all over it.

Her mother loved the cake and they ate slices of it as they watched _Me and My Gal_ on the TV. Edward got away with not eating by telling her mother he was allergic to chocolate. He left before they were about to have dinner. Jessica escorted him out to where Mo was parked.

"Thanks for today," she said. "Emily told me she thinks you're cool."

"I heard," Super hearing had its perks. He smiled. "I'm gradually winning over all the Stanley women."

"Even my Nana?" He shrugged and she laughed. "You fiend!"

He was leaning on his car and pulled her to him to stand between his legs. He titled her chin up before dipping down and kissing her. Kissing while standing could be a pain with the height difference but Edward never complained. He pulled away, looking past her towards the window where her mother and sister were watching them.

"I should go," He gave her one last peck. "I'll see you tomorrow, darling."

 _Darling_. He never called her that before. It was usually "Jessica" with a good deal of exasperation because she was driving him insane. He would even draw out the syllables when he was especially incensed "Jes-si-ca" and that's when she knew he was close to his breaking point.

And it was such an old-fashioned endearment. That's what she got for dating a senior citizen. He glared at her before he got inside his car. She watched him drive away and felt a pang of wistfulness.

She already missed him. It wasn't like he was going anywhere far. She would see him tomorrow. This being in love stuff was making her crazy.

* * *

Jessica was in the middle of a phone call with her Nana when Edward arrived outside her window. She pushed the window open, squeezing her phone between her neck and shoulder to not drop it as her Nana continued to tell her a story about having met Gene Kelly at the premiere of _Summer Stock_ back in 1950. It was her grandmother's favorite story and she kept repeating it to anyone no matter how many times they'd heard the story before. Jessica couldn't really blame her because if she ever met Gene Kelly (with the use of time travel and some ingenuity) she wouldn't shut up about it either.

Her Nana was in the middle of describing the dress Judy Garland wore when she stopped and asked, "Your mother told me you have a boyfriend. Is that right?"

She inwardly sighed. Her mother's big mouth was going to be the death of her.

"We've only been dating for a few months," she answered, avoiding looking at Edward who was watching her with clear amusement. "There's not much to tell."

Nothing she could really tell her grandmother. _Nana, did you know my boyfriend's a vampire? Don't worry. He likes to eat mountain lions. And he recycles!_

"Months? Your dad didn't even wait a month before he told me he was dating your mother," Nana reprimanded. "I had to pull it out of him and he insisted it was nothing serious. He said _she's just some girl, Ma. It probably won't last._ And we saw how that turned out, didn't we?"

Jessica sat down on her bed, surprised. "They never told me that."

"Your Nana remembers everything," her grandmother said. "Now tell me about this boy of yours."

She rubbed at her eye, trying to fight off the discomfort at being put on the spot. Edward took a seat beside her and waited for her to start speaking. She rolled her eyes at him. She moved the phone to her other hand and glared at him.

"His name is Edward. He's originally from Chicago," she said. "He plays piano and randomly quotes Shakespeare. He drives like a crazy person. And he's _really_ moody. Worse than me and I'm a teenage girl."

Edward gave her a look and she stuck out her tongue at him.

"It sounds like he's gotten under your skin," Her Nana let out a little laugh. "What does he look like?"

"Tall, pale, red hair," She squinted at him and tried to find a lookalike her grandmother would know. "Looks very, very vaguely of Elvis."

"Oh, Elvis!" Her grandmother sounded excited. "He must be so handsome."

"Sure," She hit him with a pillow, wanting to wipe off the smug grin on his face. "If you like a very pale Elvis who cries at sad dog movies."

He looked at her in betrayal. He hissed, "You swore a blood oath to never tell anyone."

She shrugged. They watched _My Dog Skip_ last week on the TV and Edward was despondent and teary-eyed at the end of the movie. He insisted it was only sweat and tried to lie to her that vampires could sweat from their eyes. She wasn't having it and he made her swear to never tell another soul what happened.

He glared at her and crossed his arms over his chest. He refused to interact with her as she finished her phone call with her Nana and she tried to get him to stop being grumpy.

"It was a joke," she persuaded. "I was crying harder than you. I could barely even see through all the tears. And it's sweet that those movies make you emotional. It makes you more…"

 _Human_. He finally looked at her. The line between human and vampire blurred when he was with her. And she wondered if he even noticed anymore that whatever humanity she was able to bring out of him was becoming bigger by the day. She wondered if for him it was evolution or regression. Were emotions human or were they universal?

He didn't acknowledge her thoughts and took her hand in his. "Tell me about your dad."

Not expecting that, she replied, "What?"

"You think about him a lot but you don't talk about him," he explained. "I'm curious about what he was like."

He did look genuinely interested. She closed her eyes and tried to remember her dad's face. She took more after her mother with her features but she had her dad's blue eyes. He had dark hair and had a beard since she turned ten and he started wearing only plaid shirts. Tall and bulky, he looked like a handsome lumberjack.

"He was from Maine. And he went to Bates college and that's where he met my mom. He majored in Geology and was on the rowing team," she said. "We moved to Forks because he was offered a job in a logging company. My dad was a big outdoors guy. He always smelled off the woods. He would make us go hiking and camping and I _hated_ it."

She smiled at how whiny she had been and complained about getting mud on her boots and how she just wanted to stay at home and watch _Lizzie McGuire_. Her dad looked most at home in a tent in the woods and being one with nature. Her mother hated being outdoors too but she tolerated it for him. Emily never even got to go on any of these trips because she'd only been four-years-old when their dad passed away.

It saddened her that Emily never knew their dad. All she ever knew of him were photos and secondhand stories. She had been too small to have any lasting memories of him. Jessica counted herself lucky that she had over a decade with her father and she had all these memories she had of him. She couldn't imagine not having known him.

"He was a good dad. He taught me the importance of hard work and he encouraged me when I became interested in science," she continued. "You're gonna laugh at me but the reason I want to take up Biochemistry is because my dad took me the watch the first _X-Men_ film. And I was so enamored at the idea of mutants and evolution and he told me there was a job that studied that."

"So you want to usher humanity into the age of mutants," he concluded. "All this because you liked Storm's powers?"

"She was super cool. And she's Halle freaking Berry," she agreed. "I wanted to marry Hugh Jackman and he could whisk me off to Australia where we could adopt a mob of kangaroos."

Edward laughed. "I'm pretty sure he's married."

"Tragedy of my life," She nudged him. "Tell me about your dad."

"There's not much to tell. His family was originally from New York before they moved to Chicago. They had a shipping business before selling that off and becoming barristers and lawyers," he expounded. "My father didn't really interact with me much. He left me in the care of my mother and he worked as much as he could. He seemed more in love with his job than anything else. I can count on one hand the few times he spoke with me directly and they were mostly about my schoolwork."

"He was distant and cold?" she asked. "And he wanted you to go into Law like him?"

"I probably would've gone into Law had the pandemic not happened," he answered. "My father didn't think becoming a musician was a worthy profession and he didn't want to be funding my 'hobby' as he put it."

She grimaced. "I'm sorry but it sounds like he was a dick."

"If the shoe fits…" His eyebrows furrowed. "I don't even know why he married my mother. They were complete opposites."

"Opposites attract?" she offered. "Maybe he saw this beautiful red-haired goddess and it made his heart swell up three sizes?"

"I doubt that," he countered. "She was a penniless Irish girl with no connections. I wish I knew the story of why she married him but I guess I'll never know."

Knowing there wasn't really anything she could say to make him feel better, she leaned her down on his shoulder and curved herself into his side. He accepted her touch and pulled her closer until her head was resting on his chest and played with her hair. It was disconcerting not hearting a heartbeat but it was one she was getting used to. She knew there was a heart underneath even if she couldn't hear it.

"For what it's worth, I don't think you're anything like your dad," she told him. "You would've made a terrible lawyer. Your poker face is a disgrace."

He snorted. "Thanks."

* * *

Her letter from Stanford arrived when she was at school. Her mom told her she had put it on her bed and Jessica had let out a high-pitched squeal before running to her room. She found the envelope sitting innocuously on her bedspread, a white beacon that beckoned to her. She approached her bed slowly, fearing that going any faster would cause the universe to implode.

Picking up the envelope, she traced her name on the envelope reverently. Her heart was beating so fast she was getting light-headed. She was scared to even breathe. Slowly, she flipped the envelope over and reached to open the flap. The slight tearing made her wince. Her fingers sweaty, she reached into the envelope to pull out the letter inside. She closed her eyes, praying to every deity she knew for good fortune, before finally looking at the page.

_Dear Jessica,_

_Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to Stanford University Class of 2007._

She couldn't read anymore before she opened her mouth and let out a scream that didn't even sound human. Her mom and Emily burst into the room in concern and she had to explain what happened. It was mostly gibberish. Her mom finally took the letter from her, read over it briefly, before smiling brightly.

"Oh, Jess," She pulled her daughter into a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

Emily was still confused. "What happened?"

Jessica finally remembering English language, exclaimed, "I got into Stanford!"

"Oh," Emily, innocent angel that she was, said. "Is that a big deal?"

"It is the biggest deal ever, squirt!" Jessica pulled her into a tight hug until her sister squirmed and complained she was crushing her. "I'm going to California!"

"Isn't that where Zac Efron lives?"

"Yes, that is where Zac Efron lives," Jessica answered. "He's a few cities away but we'll be in the same state."

Emily smiled. "Cool."

To celebrate, her mom baked them a pie and they talked over what she would need to bring when she moved into the dorms. Jessica called Lauren and Jessica and told them the good news. Her friends both got their acceptance letters from the University of Washington and were already making plans of rooming together. And Jessica tried to calculate how much she would have to pay for gas when she drove Winnie to California.

She thought many times about calling Edward. He would be happy for her and would roll his eyes as he pointed out that Alice already told her she was getting in so she shouldn't be surprised. She hesitated because Edward had told her he was planning on attending Berklee which would be in Boston on the other side of the country from her. They would have to make it work long distance and she had heard too many stories of that crashing and burning for couples.

The realization of what this meant for their relationship gradually killed her buzz until she was sitting on her bed, glaring down at her acceptance letter and wondering what she was going to do. Going to another college was out of the question. She had worked too hard on this. Asking Edward to go to California with her sounded selfish and he would be playing cat and mouse with the sun there.

Edward let himself into her room. She hadn't turned on any lights and was sitting gloomily in the darkness. He turned to a napping Sunny as if her dog could provide any answers. He was ignored.

He approached Jessica warily and asked, "Is everything okay?"

She wordlessly handed him the letter. He didn't ask her to turn on the light as he explained to her once he had built in night vision. His eyes skimmed the page for a second before looking back at her. He smiled but he was confused.

"This is a good thing," he said. "It's everything you've ever wanted."

"Of course it is," she replied. "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"But?"

"You said you wanted to go to college in Boston or New York," She sighed. "And long distance doesn't really work out. We'd probably give it a go for a semester before realizing how terrible things are between us and we'd break up. You'll find some sweet girl from Arizona who would worship the ground you walk on-"

"Jessica," He interrupted her babbling. "I can go to school anywhere. I've been to colleges more times than I count. I have several degrees. There's nothing I want to study in Boston I couldn't do it California."

"It is really sunny in California," she told him. "You would have to walk around with a black umbrella and hope you never slip and expose people to the sparkles…which sounds really wrong but you get my point."

"I would just need to be extra careful," He put down her letter on her bed and cupped her face in his hands. "You would be worth all the hassle, Jessica."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't want you to go to California with me and then realized it's too much work and you would resent me for making you go there-"

"No, no. I'm sure," he cut her off. "When it comes to you, I am always sure."

She sighed in relief as he rested his forehead against hers. The panic and fear ebbing away slowly and she felt like she could breathe again. She was becoming one of those girls that always needed to have their boyfriend around them, unable to exist otherwise. She didn't know what to do to stop it or if she even wanted to.

There was also another concern.

"It's too late to apply for any college in California now," she explained. "You would need to wait until the next semester to apply and Stanford has the most difficult acceptance rate."

"Actually I have something to show you," He pulled away from her and pulled out a piece of paper from his jacket. He handed it to her and he went and opened the lights so she could read it. "Alice applied for me months ago."

She blinked in surprise at the letter. "Alice applied for you so you can go to Stanford? Why?"

He let out a deep sigh. "She's a clairvoyant. Apparently, after I saved you in the parking lot back in September, she went and did all this."

"She saw us happening?"

"She saw but a glimmer of a different future for me and she trusted her instincts," He shook his head. "Not that I enjoy it when she meddles but in this case, I'm grateful."

She smiled, hope burning through her like the sunrise. "You got into Stanford."

"I'm smart too, Miss Valedictorian," He gave her a look then admitted, "Besides, I'm a Legacy. My grandfather, Edward Masen, attended Stanford in 1957."

"Your granddad who happens to look _exactly_ like you?"

He nodded.

"It's not a legacy if you're your own descendant," She grimaced. "You're your own granddad. That's weird."

"I'm a vampire," he replied nonchalantly. "Weird comes with the territory."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter than usual. There was a lot to tackle. We are six chapters away from the end. This story will end at 25 chapters. How the time flew by, huh?
> 
> 1\. Me and My Gal, Singing in the Rain, and Summer Stock are all movies starring Gene Kelly.
> 
> 2\. "This being in love stuff is making me crazy" is from 90210.
> 
> 3\. Edward's dad, Edward Masen Sr., is canonically said to be distant and that's really it. I took some liberties and expanded on what he may have been like and how it affects how Edward turned out.
> 
> 4\. Do you think Robert Pattinson looks like Elvis? I went on Google and wanted to see what old film actor he looked like and people were like "Elvis". I mean, very very faintly and with certain lighting, maybe.
> 
> 5\. The first X-Men film came out in 2000, two years before Jessica's dad passes away in this story.


	20. Like A Virgin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward loses it.

Jessica's mother was going away for the weekend for a company retreat at some place in Montana. Emily was having a sleepover at her best friend's house for the latter's birthday. Thus, Jessica would have the house all to herself. It was a rare treat being alone with Sunny and being able to eat only cereal and binge watch _Friends_ without judgment.

More importantly, this weekend could finally be the time when she and Edward would make it to fourth base. Not that the previous bases hadn't been a ton of fun. Edward was significantly less high-strung after an orgasm or two and he became very pleasant to be around. But reaching that final base and getting to home run was something she increasingly wanted to achieve.

She wanted it to be good for him. Hers had been very awkward, a little painful, and over in about two minutes. She had thought maybe she just didn't like sex and it was only after she had sex with someone else who was more generous that she realized her first time was just one big disappointment. She found comfort in that Lauren hadn't liked her first time either and they shared a bottle of Mrs. Mallory's wine to commemorate their mutual dissatisfaction.

Edward had waited so long for this. He deserved a good first time. She didn't want him to feel the same disappointment she did. He went through a sexual revolution and held unto his virginity like it was a lost treasure.

Her main concern was something going wrong so she went to their very own magic eight ball and asked for her advice.

"It's going to be fine," Alice reassured her. "Better to do it now than when you're in college. Your roommate walks in on you two and it's downhill from there. Edward gets called 'fire crotch' until graduation."

She didn't know what to say to that.

Alice frowned, adding, "And no lighting candles and no massage oil. Vampires are highly flammable."

"Got it," Jessica grimaced. "Anything else?"

The other girl shook her head. "You're good."

She asked Edward to sleep over and he was surprised. He narrowed his eyes at her as she repeatedly thought of _Never Gonna Give You Up_ in her head until he stopped trying to read her mind. He knew she was planning something but she was going to get him to play along anyway. He arrived at her house just as her mother drove away with Emily.

She let him into her room and they spent the afternoon watching Friends. She mostly spent it staring at his profile and wondering how to approach this. He noticed her staring and asked her what was wrong. She decided to just let the chips fall where they may.

"I think we should go all the way tonight," she told him, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. "If you want, I can, um, deflower you."

He winced. "Please don't say 'deflower'."

What was a better euphemism? Make him into a man? That just reminded her of that song in _Mulan_. She shouldn't really be thinking about shirtless Shang at the moment even if it was a really great musical number.

"We don't have to if you don't want to," she kept going. "But Alice said now is a good time because apparently college ends with you getting bullied."

"You told Alice?" He looked horrified. "Why would you tell my sister?"

"Cause she can see the future and I want tonight to be perfect," She took his hand. "I want it to be good for you."

His expression softened. He cupped her cheek with his free hand. "It will be good, Jessica, because it's with you."

She practically melted. He could be so sweet when he wanted to be. She pulled him closer for a kiss. He didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss, his hands on her waist and pulling her unto his lap. His lips travelled to her cheek then down to her neck.

There was a heady rush at having him kiss her at her pulse. It reminded her of vampires in classic literature as they seduced their victims before feeding on them. There was that rush of danger when he was between her legs and he could so easily bite into her femoral artery. And she remembered how the French likened orgasms to dying and how it all melted together when she was with him.

She pulled away, getting to her feet despite her wobbly knees and offered her hand to him. He stared up at her in wonder, this boy of hers, and placed his hand in hers. She led them to her room and shut the door behind them before Sunny could follow. Edward swallowed as he stared down at her, nervous and excited, and she felt so _special_ that this boy waited all this time for her.

She pulled him down for another kiss.

* * *

Later, she woke up in bed and it was dark outside. She was alone and she sat up, pulling the duvet to cover her as she looked around for any sign of Edward. The door opened and he entered, wearing only his dark jeans. He smiled softly at her as he approached the bed.

"Sorry you woke up alone," he said. "I had to feed Sunny her dinner."

"Oh, thanks," She smiled as he kissed her hair. He left soft butterfly kisses all over her face until she giggled and pushed him away. "Aren't you sweet?"

He kissed her on the lips. "Thank you for finally showing me what I was missing."

"No problem," she replied, running her fingers through his hair. "Was it everything you expected it to be?"

"Better," He kissed her again. "You were better than anything I could've imagined."

"Careful," She returned the kiss. "That sounded awfully cheesy."

"Get used to it," He pushed her down until she was laying on her back, his hands going to her belly and tickling her. He effortlessly fought her attempts to push him away. "Cheesy comes with the territory."

She laughed as he continued his ticking assault and she begged him to stop. Music playing from the living room made them stop.

"Is that music?" she asked. "Did you we leave the TV on?"

He looked furious and terrified. "Oh, fuck no-"

The door burst open and there was all of his siblings, holding up a banner that said 'CONGRATULATIONS, EDWARD!' as Madonna's _Like A Virgin_ played in the background. They were all wearing party hats. Edward pulled up the duvet to cover Jessica more as his siblings entered the room. Alice and Rosalie came over and put party hats on both of them.

Alice handed her a plate of pie with whipped cream and a fork. "It's cherry pie."

Oh God. Jessica's face had to be red. She had never been more embarrassed in her life. Edward got to his feet and started threatening them, "Don't you dare!"

They weren't listening. The four of them stood in a line and Emmett chanted, "And five, six, seven, eight!"

" _Like a virgin touched for the very first time_!" they sang and danced along to the music. " _Like a virgin with your heartbeat next to mine_!"

They all spun in a circle and swayed to the music, synchronized in their choreography and ignored Edward's shouts for them to stop. Jessica watched the spectacle, unable to process what was happening. Edward had told her his siblings had no boundaries but she didn't know to what extent.

"Stop singing and dancing!" Edward yelled. "Is this why idiots kept going to the woods in the middle of the night? To practice this?"

" _You're so fine and you're mine_!" Emmett spun Rosalie around then dipped her. " _I'll be yours till the end of time_!"

"You think this is funny?" Edward looked apoplectic. "I'm going to kill all of you!'

Not knowing what else to do, Jessica started eating the pie. It was really good pie.

* * *

Jessica didn't see Edward for the rest of the weekend. He kicked out his siblings after the spectacle made in her room and they tried not to think about what happened. Eventually, Jessica fell asleep. She woke up the next morning to Edward staring at her.

She frowned. "Were you watching me sleep?"

"I like watching you sleep," he replied. "It's relaxing."

"It's creepy," She rolled over, away from him. "Don't do that."

He didn't reply to that and got up from the bed. "It's almost time for you to pick up Emily."

Edward left and she got into the shower. She picked up Emily from her friend's house and she thankfully had no idea what occurred the night before.

Monday morning, she greeted Edward in the hallway with a kiss. He smiled at her.

"I'm sorry for my siblings," he said. "They're shameless and I'm going to disown them."

"What they did was kind of funny if you think about it," she acquiesced. "They had to have been waiting how long for you to lose your virginity."

"Hi, Jess. Cullen," Lauren appeared and she raised both eyebrows at them. "Did the deflowering go alright?"

Edward stared at her, appalled. "That is none of your business."

Mike came over. "Hey, guys. What's up?"

Lauren told him, "Jessica took Edward's v-card this weekend."

"You were a virgin?" Mike looked at him in incredulity before shrugging and fist bumped Jessica. "Good job, Jess. Welcome to adulthood, Cullen."

Edward looked like a trapped animal, his eyes wide in furious and indignation. "I don't appreciate you talking about this. This is a private matter."

Eric and Tyler arrived. Mike turned to them and told them what happened. They both looked at Edward before nodding in respect. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.

Angela was the last to arrive, smiling innocently. "Hello, guys. What's going on?"

Lauren answered, "Jessica successfully deflowered Edward."

Angela grimaced, her face going red. "Oh."

Having enough of this, Edward exclaimed. "Yes, I was a virgin! I am no longer a virgin! And we'll keep you updated as things develop!"

Their classmates in the hallway turned to look at them. Edward walked away, fuming. Jessica's friends started snickering. She shrugged before running after her boyfriend.

Edward was in a mood for the rest of the day. Jessica tried to cheer him up but he was determined to mope. Eventually, she just gave up and let him stew. When classes ended, he asked her to go somewhere he could cool off.

He took them to a meadow in the middle of the woods. The flowers were blooming around them and it looked especially pretty. Edward lied down on the grass and deflated like a sad balloon. She sat down beside him and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Poor Edward," she cooed. "All those people bullying you about your virginity."

"My siblings are the worst," he groaned. "They spent all of yesterday teasing me about it."

"They were happy for you," she replied. "And while _very_ misguided they wanted to celebrate with you."

"They blasted that stupid _Like A Virgin_ song the entire day," he added. "They hung that banner in the living room and I had to explain to Esme, _my mother_ , what it meant."

"How did she react?"

"She looked really uncomfortable and then asked me if I was 'gentle' with you."

"Why?" she returned. "I'm the one who did the deflowering."

"Please stop saying that word," he begged. "I will do anything to never hear that word again."

She acquiesced. "I'm just saying it could've gone worse."

He stared at her skeptically, daring her to contradict him. "How?"

"The sex part was lovely," Then, she added, "It was just the after that was terrible. But it was memorable."

"I didn't want memorable," He sat up, sighing. "I just wanted…I just wanted you."

She smiled softly. He had been hesitant and sweet during it all. He touched her like she was made of glass and he was terrified of breaking her. And at the end, he stared into her eyes and repeated how much he loved her until the words lulled her to sleep.

"You have me," she reassured him.

"And you have me," he promised. "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Edward lost his virginity. That's all this is really.
> 
> 1\. A lot of that scene where Edward's siblings had a banner and sang to Like A Virgin was inspired by an episode of Fresh Meat. Also that scene where Edward announces he's no longer a virgin to everyone.
> 
> 2\. Shout out to Aria who I pitched the Like A Virgin scene and asked if it was too much and she said it was fine.
> 
> 3\. Friends is a 90's TV sitcom.


	21. Alice in Fashion Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one says no to Alice.

Planning prom was stressful. Jessica learned this early on the planning stage and she was glad to never have to do it again. The prom theme was divided between 'The Great Gatsby' and 'Fire and Ice'. It has been a close vote with Gatsy winning by a measly two votes. Then, there had been all the hoopla that came with it like the venue, food, a DJ, decorations, chaperones, fundraisers, and ticket sales.

There had been the bake sale/car wash from hell that gave Jessica nightmares. She would be happy to never have to bake another cupcake again her life. The car wash had ended with a water fight with her friends as Mike decided that spraying them with a hose would be funny. She had to climb into Winnie soaked to the bone and freezing as she rushed home for a hot shower.

As prom drew closer and they were able to secure what they needed, the most important thing had to be addressed – her prom dress. She needed something to fit The Roaring 20's theme but also didn't want to look like she was wearing a costume. Angela was able to find a vintage thrift store in Port Angeles they could go to but Jessica wasn't sure she could afford a new dress. She needed to save up for gas money when she drove to California and Jessica realized with a great deal of dread that her budget just wasn't going to be enough.

It was an oversight. She had been so distracted by everything that happened that year, she failed to plan accordingly. She might just have to get a cheaper dress and beg her mom to help her alter it. Her mom had shoes she could borrow and they had no need to rent a limo because this was freaking Forks.

She looked over her prom check list again and wondered if there was anything else she forgot. They would need to make the trip to Port Angeles that weekend before all the good dresses were gone. If they all just carpooled with Lauren that would save her gas money. And if they packed a lunch, that would save them having to spend on food while they were in the city.

A tapping on her shoulder made her turn and there was Alice smiling up at her cheerily. "Hi!"

"Hi, Alice," She closed her notebook, placing it back in her locker. "What's up?"

"Don't go to Port Angeles," Alice told her. "You won't find anything good within your budget. The dress you get will keep trying to fall down the whole night and you'll be miserable. Let me make a dress for you."

Jessica was aware about Alice's sewing skills. They had Home Econ together and she used to make these avant-garde outfits that Rosalie would model for her. Alice made everything from form-fitting suits to dresses made of what looked like bandages. And they all turned out stunning.

"The dress has the most beautiful gold leaf embroidery with this delicate tulle skirt," Alice continued, her eyes wide and reverent. "You and Edward will look so beautiful together. I'm making him a tie that matches your dress."

Jessica didn't know what to say but she felt overwhelmed. "You can't make me a dress, Alice. That's too much-"

Alice grasped her arms and shook her a little. "Let me do this, Jessica. Clothes are what bring me joy in my life."

"But…" She sighed, realizing that she couldn't change Alice's mind. This would save her a trip at the least. "How much would I owe you for it?"

"It's free of charge. The sight of you wearing my creation at the dance is more than enough," Alice pulled her into a hug. Jessica stiffened and awkwardly patted her back. "You're going to look so pretty!"

Jessica pulled away from her. "I still think I should pay you back somehow. For your time at the least cause it will take so much work."

"I can get that dress done in three days," Alice said confidently. "I don't sleep and I have nothing else to do except listen to the boys fight over _Mortal Kombat_ again. This is much more enjoyable."

She wanted to protest but all her doubts melted away in an instant. Of course she wanted Alice to make her a dress! How nice of her to make Jessica something! She was so grateful and happy!

Jessica pulled her into a hug. "You're so nice! Thank you!"

Alice giggled and hugged her back. "You're welcome!"

She wanted to continue hugging the other girl and telling her how incredible she was but Alice pulled away and sauntered off to where Jasper was standing. The other girl told her to come to the Cullens' house on the weekend so they could get started on the dress. And she should bring Lauren and Angela too so they could get free dresses. Alice was the best!

The emotions melted off like the waves receding from the shore, leaving her feeling empty and overwrought. She saw Jasper's mischievous face and knew what had just happened. A bloom of indignation spread through her chest. She would've ran to him and punched him if Edward hadn't come and held her still.

"It's not worth it," Edward said. "He only did it to make Alice happy."

"That doesn't mean he can do his Jedi mind tricks on me without my consent!" she called out, knowing Jasper could hear her as he and his wife walked away. "And if he tries it again, he will be sorry!"

Jasper didn't even look back at her as he and Alice practically skipped away out of the building. The fiends. She should ban them prom. They were ancient anyway.

"Look on the bright side," Edward, Mr. Cynical, tried to reason with her. "You don't have to buy a new dress."

She gave him an annoyed like. "That's not the point!"

He was oblivious. He and his entire family didn't seem to understand what was inappropriate or not. She walked away from him. He chased after her and she ignored him.

* * *

Lauren and Angela were apprehensive about coming to the Cullens' house. Jacob hadn't been thrilled but he wasn't Jessica's problem. Lauren suggested ditching Alice's dressmaker idea and just going to Port Angeles for their dresses. But they remembered the red gown Alice made for Rosalie's prom last year and it was prettier than anything they could ever find and they knew it.

The weekend came and Jessica drove them to the Cullens' house. She had to get instructions from Edward how to get there because she tended to get lost around the woods around it that made it into a frustrating treasure hunt. Angela and Lauren stared at the large, modern house, the sunlight reflecting off the numerous windows. They both gave her a look.

"I know, right?" Jessica said. "I was expecting a dark Victorian manor with ravens flying about and warning you of death."

"I like your version better," Lauren replied. "It would be very _Jane Eyre_. Maybe Edward has a wife he's locked up in the attic."

"Come on, Lauren," Angela chided gently. "I really doubt that."

"Basement then," Lauren shrugged. "He's a creepy guy."

Jessica had to concede. He did have his moments. Like watching her sleep or stalking her. What did it say about her that she still dated him?

They walked up to the front door and before she could ring the doorbell, the front door swung open and Edward greeted them with a smile. "Hello. Are you selling Girl Scout cookies?"

Jessica and Lauren rolled their eyes while Angela, bless her, asked, "Don't you not eat human food?"

"I don't," He moved aside. "Please come in. Alice is waiting upstairs in her room."

The three girls went inside. The house still smelled like freaking Christmas. Edward guided them upstairs and to Alice and Jasper's room. He left them with a muttered, "Good luck."

There were dozens of dresses hung on racks in every color of the rainbow, made of tulle, silk, and satin. There were rolls of fabric everywhere, bottles of buttons and sequins, and a fancy sewing machine on a table. Alice smiled brightly at the sight of them, a measuring tape around her neck. She had been fussing with a dress on a mannequin.

She beckoned them over and started showing off the dresses she had made. She pulled out the legendary red dress that Rosalie had worn.

"This is my masterpiece," she declared, stroking the full skirt. "Everything I make I compare to this."

Lauren eyed it skeptically. "It's pretty but I'm not sure if I want to wear a ball gown."

Alice placed the dress back on the hanger. "It's not for everyone. And you're cool-toned so red would wash you out. I was thinking more of a royal blue for you."

"I like purple," Lauren looked at a lavender cocktail dress. "Maybe no tulle."

"Deep violet satin," Alice grabbed a notebook and pencil and started sketching. "Empire waist and a mermaid skirt. You'd look so regal."

She turned to Angela and started looking over here. "You're warm-toned with olive undertones. You could pull off red. Silk and backless. You're so tall, the silhouette would be incredible."

Alice sketched pages and pages of dresses for them and let them pick which one they liked the best. She pulled out fabric swatches and compared it to their complexions. She took their measurements and told them she would have the dresses done by next week. Perks of vampirism was speed and no need to take naps.

"This is all you do all night," Angela asked. "Just sketch and make dresses?"

"It brings me happiness," Alice answered. "Sadly, only the Forks student body gets to see my creations."

"Why don't you become a designer then?" the taller girl suggested. "I'm sure you can get into a fashion school and even then your work is impeccable. Your clothes should be on runaways."

Alice frowned, looking away. "I can't."

"Why not?" Lauren asked. "Even if you don't go to school, you have the funds to start up your own business."

"It's not that. It's…" Alice sighed. "It'll bring too much attention and that's dangerous for vampires."

Jessica questioned, "How can dresses be too much attention?"

"They'll notice when I don't age. And you can argue that plastic surgery has come a long way but I'm perpetually nineteen," Alice explained. "And I would need to travel and meet a lot of people. My control is good but it's not unbreakable."

"You'd find a way to make it work," Lauren insisted. "Delegate the travelling and public appearances to other people, hire somebody else to be the face of the company. You don't want fame but you want to be able to follow your passion so why don't you stop making excuses and do it?'

"I…" Alice looked thoughtful. "I mean…that could work?"

If Edward was going to college in freaking California, Alice would probably start a fashion line. At this point, it was a matter of figuring it out and hoping to God nothing would mess it up. Jessica stared at the sketch of the gown Alice was planning for her. A few months ago, vampires and werewolves were creatures of myth and here she was in a room with them. The sky was the limit.

"I think you should do it," Jessica told her. "Go to fashion school and take the industry by storm. If you're gonna be immortal, might as well fill that time with something you love, right?"

Alice smile was small and soft, filled with gratitude. "I suppose you're right."

* * *

They dropped Angela off at her house and went to Lauren's place to spend the night. Lauren wanted to celebrate getting accepted into their preferred colleges and also unwind from the sheer insanity that school year had been. They had been pilfering Mrs. Mallory's wine collection for years. And Lauren was always the friend she could be honest with and knew that the blonde was the same.

Lauren handed her a glass and Jessica frowned. "Vodka? What happened to the Rosé?"

"I went through the Rosé one night," the blonde explained. It's mom's vodka or dad's German beer."

Jessica didn't complain and took a sip. It tasted like poison. "What's really bothering you?'

"Why would you think something is bothering me?" Lauren returned. "We're here to celebrate you getting into fucking Stanford. That deserves a whole weekend bender."

"Bullshit, Mallory."

"Fine," the blonde gave in, taking a large swallow of her drink. "Jacob and I keep fighting."

"Over what?"

"Over everything," Lauren snorted. "Sometimes he breathes and I want to strangle him."

"That's pretty normal."

Jessica definitely wanted to strangle Edward sometimes.

Lauren shook her head. "We can't get along. He wants some sweet girl who will listen to him and let him become her world."

That sounded like Angela. Jessica hadn't pried into their situation as no one had really wanted to talk about it. She had thought they had resolved things and were making it work but that didn't seem to be the case.

"And I realized that maybe we just won't work," Lauren continued. "That maybe the magic werewolf imprinting made a mistake. That Jacob and I aren't two halves of a soul or whatever bullshit is running this."

"And?"

"I talked to Jacob and we decided to just be friends," the blonde explained. "He and Angela have their thing. And the two of us we'll be platonic."

"Platonic?" Jessica questioned. "Were you two doing things before?"

"We did some stuff but I didn't have sex with him," Lauren replied. "He and Angela are gonna mutually 'deflower' each other and I'm going to stay single and not worry about boys."

"Is this going to be temporary or permanent?"

From what she heard about imprinting, it was a big deal. Could one just walk away from it and be okay? The situation between the three was unusual and no one really knew what they were doing. But Lauren walking away from it might be extreme.

Lauren looked thoughtful, staring into her glass as if it held the secrets of the universe. Finally, she answered, "Honestly, I don't know if I want to be with anyone. I'm quite content on my own."

"But don't you want…"

Companionship, romance, love – all the things their society told them they needed to be a complete human being. If you weren't searching for your soul mate to get married and have children, then you were wasting your time. If you decided you were better alone then you were pathetic. If you didn't want the dream of a happy family with a dog and picket fence then there was something wrong with you.

Jessica asked her, "Is this what you really want?"

Lauren finished her glass. "I could change my mind. I could want to be with Jacob again or some other guy entirely. But right now, I want to go to college and worry about the next full moon."

"Speaking of the full moon," Jessica looked at her worriedly. "How are you going to take care of that in college? I doubt you can put a giant cage in your dorm room."

"I'm getting an apartment with Leah and Angela," Lauren explained. "Leah's going to grad school so she'll be there for my shifts. And we're figuring it out."

Jessica smiled. "It's nice to know you're not going on a killing spree with the Seattle residents."

Lauren scoffed. "I don't need to be a wolf to do that."

The blonde grabbed the vodka bottle and refilled their glasses. They drank and talked and fell asleep in the living room. They woke up with terrible hangovers and they drove to Sully's to eat cheeseburgers. Huddled into a booth and blearily eating their greasy burgers, they both vowed to never get drunk again. They were both lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four chapters left. We get prom in the next chapter. And shortly after that is graduation. My children are growing up and leaving for college.
> 
> 1\. Jasper doesn't mind messing with people's emotions for Alice. That's canon. Not cool. Consent is important.
> 
> 2\. I changed Alice's interest in fashion from shopping to fashion design. I thought it made her more interesting and it fits with her character more as she grew up in the 1900s before fast fashion was available. She would have had to make her own clothes or have them done at small workshops. Getting clothes made by modistes were expensive and Alice came from a middle-class family in Mississippi. Her family may have splurged on a dress or two and those dresses would be passed down to her sister. Despite the rise of garment factories, fast fashion wouldn't come around till the 60s.
> 
> 3\. I debated about the prom theme and eventually settled for The Roaring 20s cause the aesthetics. And the Cullens would totally rock the fashion.


	22. Prom Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper teaches the kids to square dance to a Taylor Swift song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading tip cause this chapter heavily features music:
> 
> 1\. Jasper and Alice dancing at prom - Flo Rida's Low
> 
> 2\. Edward and Jessica dancing - Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved
> 
> 3\. Jessica and friends dancing - Taylor Swift's Our Song
> 
> 4\. The After Party - Lorde's Ribs

Finals came and went much to the Senior class' combined relief. They no longer needed to do any work and Jessica needed to step over all the paper that was thrown into the hall way as she made her way out of the school. Mike, Eric, and Tyler were singing and dancing loudly and off-key to Queen's _We Are the Champions_. Jessica slumped against Angela when she found her, relieved to no longer have to worry about exams and how it could affect her college dreams.

She had fretted over exams and had studied religiously in the months prior, practically never living her bedroom as tried to cram as much information in her head as she could. She had been getting headaches from the constant memorization that Edward had said her thoughts were giving him a migraine. Now, it was all over and she tried not to fret about the exam results. She still had prom and graduation to take care of. She still had the last month of school before the summer.

Being chosen for valedictorian had been a wonderful surprise. Edward had said she was going to get it in passing but she hadn't put much thought into it. She had asked Alice not to tell her too much about the future as she didn't want to jinx anything. When she was told she was chosen and had to give the speech at graduation, she had been thrilled and additionally stressed at having to write a good speech.

She wasn't a writer. She didn't even keep a diary. Angela had always been better at words than her. She had asked her best friend for help and had been told to speak from the heart.

This wasn't good advice. What was she supposed to say? Get out there and don't mess up the world more than it already is? She had pages and pages of drafts for her speech and it was not coming along well. She shelved it for now as she had prom to take care of first.

Alice had finished all their dresses within a week. She had been buzzing with excitement and would give them detailed updates about how each one was going. Jessica's dress was taking the longest for the gold embroidery and the tulle was rather delicate to work with. Eventually, Alice finished it and asked them all to come over to her house again for a fitting and so she could do some alterations.

The tulle skirt was off-white, almost a champagne color and the golden embroidery at the torso travelled down the full skirt that almost fanned out around her. It was nowhere near as big as the ball gown Rosalie wore the previous year but it was fuller than either Angela's or Lauren's gowns. Jessica was scared to even touch the golden embroidery as she stared at herself in the mirror. It looked like it was something a princess should be wearing.

"It's so pretty, Jess," Angela cooed as she touched the tulle. "I'd be scared to wear this. What if I drop food on it?"

"I will not hesitate to kill any of you if you ruin your dress," Alice said, cheerily then laughed. "I'm joking but seriously don't stain the dresses."

Angela looked a little freaked out. Lauren poked at her bare back. While the front of it was a modest halter top, the back of the gown was bare and showed of all of Angela's skin.

"Do you think Pastor Weber would be okay with this gown?" Lauren asked. "He might to stop you from going to prom in fear that you'll come home pregnant."

Angela went as red as her gown. "That's…um…that's not happening. Jacob and I aren't…"

Lauren quirked an eyebrow. "You still haven't after all these months?"

"That is not something we're discussing," the brunette replied, wrapping her arms over her chest defensively. "Jacob and I are taking things slow and we're both happy that way."

The blonde turned away and examined the silver ribbon at the empire waist of her violet gown. "Whatever you say, Weber."

"Wait," Angela took her by the shoulders to face her. "Did you two…?"

Lauren shook her head. "No. We kissed. That's as far as it got."

Jasper passed by in the hallway. He stopped at the doorway shook his head at Alice before walking off.

Alice whispered to Jessica, "That's a lie."

"I know," Lauren was very chatty when she was drunk and had told Jessica over a bottle of vodka all the things she had done with Jacob. "But let's keep that to ourselves."

Alice smiled conspiringly and asked her to stay still as she pinned the dress where she needed to alter it. "You look stunning. And Edward will think so too."

"I'm sure he already got spoilers from you."

"Nope. I have been singing Avril Lavigne in my head a lot," the other girl replied. "Particularly that _Girlfriend_ song. It makes him leave the room."

"Nice to know."

Rickrolling Edward was fun it but was getting a little old.

* * *

Prom came and Jessica and her friends went to get their hair and make-up done at the same salon. She went home to change into her dress and her mom wouldn't stop gushing over. She whipped out a camera and started taking as many pictures as she could. Emily loved her dress and kept touching the skirt reverently.

Edward came to pick her up and her mom let him into the house. He stopped at the sight of her and it made her feel self-conscious. She tried not to touch her hair less she ruin the curls the hair stylist had worked so hard on. She run her fingers through the skirt of her gown and gave him a look.

"What?"

"You look…" He smiled. It was soft and bright. "You look beautiful."

"I know," she tried to be cool about it but the pleased blush on her cheeks wasn't just make-up. "And thanks."

He was holding a corsage with a white rose. He had only ever given her red roses before. Angela had given her a book of classical poetry a few birthdays ago and she had pressed the roses into the pages. Her room smelled like potpourri.

He carefully attached the corsage to her wrist. Her mom took a dozen pictures of them. They left the house and got into his car. He drove slower this time, sensing her nerves and not wanting to add to them.

"Is my dress okay?" she asked. "I know it's not quite the 20s style – and you would know – but it's not so bad, right?"

"Your dress is lovely. And I'm not just saying that because Alice made that dress and she will set me on fire if I disparage any of her work," He smiled. "You look beautiful in it and that's all that matters."

"Do I look hot though?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes. You look very…hot."

"Like irresistibly hot?"

She moved closer to him and he gave her a look. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. She fluttered her eyelashes at him. He refused to look at her.

"I thought you wanted to go to prom," he said. "Keep that up and I will take you against a tree."

She mock gasped. "And ruin my dress?"

"Alice will get over it," He paused. "No, she won't. Let's go to the dance and show off that dress. We can do…. _that_ later if you want."

"I want," He looked delicious in that form fitting charcoal suit and that golden tie that perfectly matched her dress. "Maybe not against a tree though."

He raised their joined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "Whatever you want, Jess."

They arrived at the school where they were having prom in the gym. She found her friends waiting in line to be let in. Angela and Jacob were the tallest couple there and the latter was wearing the red tie Alice had made to match Angela's dress. Lauren was taking both Tyler and Eric as her dates and held unto both of their arms as they escorted her inside.

Mike's date was a pretty Junior and Jessica exchanged looks with Angela who just shrugged. She held unto Edward's arm as they entered the gym. She didn't even remember how many times they watched the 1974 Gatsby film for inspiration. They had mostly ended up with an old Hollywood look. The student council had wanted a fountain like in the middle of the room but that was annexed for practicality budget concerns.

Jessica smiled as she saw the result of all of their hard work. Alice and Jasper were already dancing on the floor, looking like they were F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife. Alice's black flapper dress looked authentic and it probably was. They were twirling around strangely enough to a Flo Rida song and it brought her out of the aesthetic.

Mike came over sans his date. "You look stunning, Jess."

"Thanks, Mike," She was able to be really friends with him now that she wasn't so obsessed with him and it was nice. "Maybe we'll meet up in college and hang out since we're both gonna be in California."

"Actually I'm going to school in London," He explained. "I applied on a whim and I got in."

"London?" she echoed. "What happened to UCLA?"

"Changed my mind. I wanted to see more of the world, you know?" He shrugged. "Eric's going to Cal Tech. You guys can meet up. And I'm available for the occasional Skype call. Don't be a stranger, Stanley."

He walked off and she turned to Edward. "Did you know about him and London?"

"Maybe I heard it in passing," Edward answered. "I try not to read the minds of adolescent boys too much."

London was across the world. She knew Mike felt chaffed about being in a small town like Forks but abandoning the country all together seemed a bit much. She thought she could see both Eric and him once in a while but that wasn't happening. With Angela, Lauren, and Tyler all going to Seattle for college, she would be effectively alone.

"You're not going to be alone," Edward took both of her hands. "I'm going to be there with you every step of the way. You're going to be so annoyed with me and you'll wish I went to Boston for college instead."

"I know. It's just…"

 _Not the same_. She loved Edward and she enjoyed his company. But she had known her friends since as far back as kindergarten. They felt like a part of her, her limbs and her bones. Without them, she would be untethered and she didn't know how to process that.

She had been avoiding thinking about college and the eventual parting from her friends but now that it was so close, it was hard not to think about it and worry. Would she be able to make friends at Stanford? She remembered kindergarten and how the other kids thought she was annoying. It was only Angela who was a saint that wanted to be her friend all because both their favorite color was pink.

She wouldn't have Angela's sweet steadiness. She wouldn't have Lauren's blunt advice. She wouldn't have Tyler sharing snacks with her. She wouldn't have Eric's stupid jokes. And she wouldn't have Mike's references to every sport movie known to man. She was losing everyone.

"Hey now," Edward tipped her chin up so he could stare into her eyes. "Let's just enjoy the night. You spent so much time making sure this would all happen and you deserve to enjoy it. Let's dance and just live in the moment."

She closed her eyes and tried to bury the overwhelming emotion bubbling inside of her. It felt like a soda can that had been shaken and was about to burst. Edward's cool lips at her temple reminded her to breathe. She held unto his hand until she felt better, the loud music around them making it hard to think.

The music changed. It was the sappy Maroon 5 song Lauren secretly loved.

"Dance with me?" Edward offered.

She nodded and he led them to the dance floor. The heels she wore gave her more inches so the height difference between them was less but Edward still hovered over her. He pulled her close and she rested her head on his shoulder, accepting his comfort. They swayed to the music and Jessica wanted to live in the moment as much as she could.

" _Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile_ ," the speakers crooned. " _And she will be loved. She will be loved_ …"

She closed her eyes. This song was so cheesy.

Edward chuckled. "Get used to it, Stanley. Cheesy comes with the territory."

"You're a dork."

"You love it."

She would never tell him. But she really did.

* * *

Jessica felt better after a few more dances. She danced to more upbeat songs with Lauren and Angela. She danced with Eric and Tyler. She even danced with Mike even as Edward tried to not glare at him from where he was sitting.

Jacob and Edward were sat at the same table and while the two would never like each other, they weren't trying to kill each other. She was counting it as a win. Her biggest surprise of the night was getting to dance with Jasper to a Taylor Swift song. He jokingly taught her and her friends how to square dance and it ended with all of them laughing.

"Are you from the South?" she asked. "It seems like you know what you're doing."

"Texas," he answered. "But that's another story for another day."

Alice wrapped her arm around him. "It's a little dark for the occasion."

They sauntered away and Edward claimed her for another dance. They drank too much of that apple cider in plastic champagne flutes and danced until their feet were aching in the heels. When the announcement for Prom Queen and King came, Jessica just wanted to leave as she didn't care. When it was announced she won, she gaped and stood frozen as everyone clapped around her.

"You need to move," Edward pushed her towards the stage. "Go on, Prom Queen. Get your crown."

She was wide-eyed and confused as she ended up on stage and they placed the crown on her head. Mike won Prom King and they shared a dance and he told her about his plans in London. He promised to take all the tourist-y photos so she could live vicariously through him. She promised to go to the beach and make him jealous for choosing rainy London over the sunny West Coast.

Edward took her back from Mike and danced with her. She stared at him suspiciously at his too innocent expression. She glanced over to where Jasper and Alice were sitting and they waved at her. She turned back to Edward in accusation.

"Did you do this?"

"It only took a little nudging," he replied. "Jasper and I looked for people who were already considering voting for you and helped them make up their minds."

He was shameless.

"That's cheating."

"You should be proud. We were using our powers for good," He smiled at her. "A lot of people wanted to vote for you anyway. All your time spent in clubs and extracurricular activities was just paying off."

"You're saying I would've won without your and Jasper's Jedi mind tricks?"

"Definitely," He pulled her closer so she couldn't see his face. "I just didn't want to take any chances."

Which meant he was probably lying. She decided not to mind it. She looked pretty with a crown. It went perfectly with her dress.

When the dance ended, they drove to Lauren's house for the after party. The original plan was to have it at Mike's house but his parents were both in town and Lauren graciously offered her place instead.

It was mostly her friends and a few of their classmates. Ben and Katie were sitting together on the couch as they talked to Angela and Jacob. Lauren frowned at the cup of beer Jacob was drinking and took it from him. Mike had brought his date home and was playing a drinking game with the boys.

Surprisingly, Jasper and Alice came to the party. Alice told her about the fashion school she was going to attend in New York. Jasper seemed to be in high spirits from all the endorphins around him. They joined the others at the couch, talking to her friends.

It was an unusual sight, her friends and the Cullens mingling so easily. There had been a divide between them for so long and the sight of them co-existing easily made her wonder how things would've been had she and Edward stopped dancing around each other all these years. What would have happened had Edward just been nice to her in Freshman Year? What if he had said yes and they went on a date and he had been her boyfriend for all of high school and not just these past few months?

Edward took her hand and led them outside to the perch. Summer was making itself known and it was getting warmer. She was still cold in her gown and Edward took of his blazer for him to wear. It smelled like him, Christmas cookies and evergreen mint.

She carefully arranged her skirts as they took a seat on the porch swing. They stared out at the night sky, the stars bright and Edward pointed out constellations to her. He told her stories of them and she listened. She didn't think she would eve tire of his voice.

"I think about it too," he confessed. "What it would've been like if I had said yes to you in Freshman Year. I wasted more time with you and I regret it."

"I don't think I would've handled the whole vampire thing at fifteen," she returned. "I might have just run away screaming."

"You still should've run away when you found out about me," he told her. "There are other ways to get an adrenaline rush aside from dating a deadly mythical creature."

"It could've been worse."

"How?"

"You could've been a hydra."

He stared at her in disbelief. "A _hydra_?"

"Deadly, mythical, too many heads," She shuddered. "I would take you and your biting tendencies over that."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I'll just be happy that you prefer me over that."

"Even if we lost time by you being an oblivious butthole," she said. "We have now and the future, right? We can make memories now."

"We'll have all of it," he promised. "All the time in the world."

The unspoken words hung heavy in the air - all the time in the world _for her_ because her time was limited and he wasn't. It would end. Like high school, everything always ended. And one day, she would just be memories for him, nothing more.

He titled her chin up and kissed her. In that moment, in her pretty dress, kissing the boy she loved under a starry sky, she let herself be. The future could wait for one night. She was in no rush to meet it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters left. I'm sad for it to end, really so I understand Jessica's feelings. Next chapter is graduation.
> 
> 1\. All the music featured in this chapter all came out before or in 2007. I wanted to make things feel authentic. Except for Lorde's Ribs but they weren't listening/dancing to that. It's more for the vibe while reading.
> 
> 2\. Their prom is actually more peaceful them mine was. We got a bit wild while dancing. A fight almost broke out. One of my friends lost it and took our shoes. It was a weird night.
> 
> 3\. Why did I make Jessica prom queen? I want to give her something good. And Edward is canonically manipulative. There was some inspiration from Gossip Girl for that scene but I do not advertise Chuck and Blair's toxic, disgusting relationship. Aim higher.


	23. How Soon Is Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica finally graduates.

Edward walked into a disaster zone. The floor of Jessica's bedroom was covered in paper, some crumpled and he tried to not step on any. Jessica was sitting on her bed, writing in a notebook and looking frustrated. Without looking at him, she ripped the page she'd been writing it on, crumpled it into a ball and threw it across the room. He was only able to dodge it due to his super speed.

"Hello to you too," he said drily. "What did I do this time?'

"Not about you," she grumbled, writing on a fresh page. "It's this stupid graduation speech."

"Haven't figured that out yet?" He bent down and picked up one of her discarded drafts and began reading it aloud. " _Don't fuck up the world more than it already is_. I think the school might not care for the language."

She stopped writing, dropping her pen and notebook on the bed, and covered her face in her hands. "Why did they choose me? I suck at speeches."

"Your speeches when you were running for student council were fine," he pointed out. "And the speech comes with valedictorian territory. Would you rather Eric do it instead?"

"Yes. I mean no," She sighed. "And Angela helped me with my speeches before."

"Why not ask for her help again?"

"I did. She said 'speak from the heart', as if that helps me."

He picked up another discarded speech and read it. " _We'll probably never see each other again after this and that's not a bad thing._ Is this how you really feel about our peers?"

"You should read the one by your left."

" _Life is too short and_ _the world is going to end anyway so do what you want_ ," He laughed. "Well, you're not wrong."

She glared at him. "Be serious. I have two days before I have to give that speech in front of our entire class, their parents, and the school faculty. I mess this up and people will remember."

"People don't remember these things as well as you think," he told her and took a seat beside her on the bed. "Just make your speech as generic as possible and everything will be fine."

"I don't do generic," That sounded incredibly lazy and that wasn't Jessica. "You've listened to a bunch of speeches over the years, what made the good ones stand out?"

He looked thoughtful. "Charisma? A certain verbosity?"

"The school guidance counselor said I was 'abrasive'," she grumbled. "And I just don't want to ramble on forever until they want to cart me away from the podium."

"Alright. How about take Angela's advice? Speak from the heart," At her exasperated look, he handed her the pen and notebook again. "You have lived in Forks since you were three. You know everyone in our class. This little town has been your world as far back as you can remember. Your triumphs, failures, and fears were all in this rainy little corner. In all that time, what have you learned?"

"A lot," She stared down at the blank page. "And there's still a lot to learn. None of us are done growing. We're still becoming people."

"Yes, and in this moment what lesson do you want them to remember as they leave here and go on their journey to becoming themselves?"

She looked at him and the encouragement on his face. He had been the thing that had surprised her the most this past year, aside from the vampire thing. How he had gone to stranger to somebody she truly cared for and it had taken months, like rain filling an empty, to become what they were. And there was still so much to do and see, she had all this time to full with him even if in his existence it would be just a minute.

"We need to enjoy every second of it," she said. "We need to enjoy life and all the good moments, even the bad ones, before it all ends. Nothing will ever stay the same and that doesn't mean it makes it meaningless. It is better that we enjoyed this minute in time, in this universe, instead of letting fear rule us and waste all of it. Don't waste any of it."

He smiled, wistfully. The million unsaid things between them present as ever but neither of them acknowledged it. She wrote the rest of her speech and he gave his honest feedback. When she finished, she stared at the words as the sense of finality overcame her. There was no going back from there.

* * *

Graduation went by faster than she anticipated. She gave her speech and as she said the words she looked over at all the faces of her classmates. She lingered at her friends and she remembered the little kids they once were. They received their diplomas and her friends squished together in a massive group hug and she didn't even mind that she couldn't breathe.

The Cullens decided to host a graduation party much to everybody's shock. It was a surreal moment, seeing her classmates wandering around the Cullens' house, all of them surprised that they were allowed to be there. It was the easy blending of two worlds that still jarred her when she saw it. She couldn't help wonder about all the alternate worlds that never happened.

She saw Mike and Emmett were talking about sports with some guys from the football team. Angela, Lauren, and Alice were talking about the merits of _Project Runway_. Tyler, Eric, and Jasper were debating over country music. She blinked at the sight of Dr. Cullen and Esme talking to her mom and the Webers. Edward's parents looked so young next to their parents despite their real ages. It made her wonder if in twenty years it would be like that with her and Edward.

And eventually while he stayed young, she'd look old enough to be his mother, his grandmother. Oh God.

"Remember your speech," he said softly. "Focus on the now."

"Focus on the now," she repeated. "Can I use your bathroom?"

He directed her to a bathroom on the second floor and before leaving the bathroom, she stared at her reflection. Her face was round with youth, the last traces of baby fat clinging on for dear life. The big blue eyes, the too-thin nose, teeth too big for her face, she was pretty at best. And she would look more as her mom as she aged.

She wondered how it felt for the Cullens to stare at the mirror and see the same reflection no matter how much time passed. No crow's feet, no laugh lines, no wrinkles, only smooth skin. Maybe they saw time like sand in an hourglass, moving continuously while they remained. When the world ended, would vampires be the ones left, outliving all of humanity.

Trying to escape her maudlin thoughts, she made her way outside the bathroom. She found the empty balcony people had avoided and welcomed the chilly air as she tried to get herself out of her mood. She didn't want to be around Edward when she was like this as it only put him in a similar mood. It could be so difficult at times, not being able to keep even her thoughts hidden. Her emotions weren't safe either, even glimpses of her future.

"Feeling stifled yet?" Rosalie came over and stopped beside her, staring into the dark trees behind the house. "If you're having second thoughts about all of this, that's a good thing."

"I'm not having second thought about anything," she replied. "I worked too hard for Stanford-"

"I'm not talking about college and you know it," Rosalie interrupted her. "I'm talking about becoming one of us."

Jessica froze. "I…I never thought about that."

That was a lie. She had thought about it, late at night when she was alone. And she contemplated her own mortality. Eternity was a possibility that utterly terrified her.

"Never? Cause there's only one way you can be with an immortal," the blonde stated. "To become one. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time."

"I'm not wasting my time. I love Edward," Jessica returned. "Why would you say I was wasting my time with him?"

"You are hooking your carriage to a horse that will eventually outrun you," Rosalie's golden gaze stared her down. "You'll wither and die like one of those roses he likes to give you, something pretty for now. You'd be a pastime to keep the ennui from settling in."

That hit to close with her earlier thoughts and she wrapped her arms over her chest. "Why are you being so cruel? I've never done anything to you, Rosalie."

"I'm not trying to be cruel. I'm trying to help you," Rosalie insisted. "You don't want to be immortal, do you?"

"No."

"Then what are you doing with Edward? You're wasting your time, your life loving somebody like him when you could have a normal, human life with somebody else who can give you things Edward can't," The blonde sighed. "I know you don't want to hear this but this story you and Edward are playing out will only lead you both to heartbreak."

"How do you know it'll lead to heartbreak?"

"Because you're going to die and Edward who spent a hundred years running from that pain will have to experience it," Rosalie answered. "And one day you'll wake up and realize this wasn't what you wanted."

"You don't know me," Jessica retorted, anger wrapping itself around her like a blanket against all of Rosalie's accusations. The truth in them was too painful to acknowledge. "You don't get to say what I will or won't regret. And who's to say Edward isn't everything I want? Only I get to decide that."

Rosalie shook her head. "You're too young to listen. You're such a child."

"Or maybe you need to mind your own business."

"Jessica," Edward was at the doorway of the balcony. From the look on his face, he heard more than enough of their conversation. "They have cake downstairs. Why don't you go get a plate?"

Wanting to get away from his sister, Jessica wordlessly left the balcony. Edward didn't follow her. She paused at the stairs as he approached his sister and they began to talk quietly. She couldn't hear them and Rosalie gave her a disappointed look as Jessica finally left.

* * *

They still had the summer before they all parted ways. Aside from Edward, the Cullens were all moving to New York. Alice was excited for fashion school and she insisted that Jessica and Edward visit. Jessica wasn't opposed to it though the gas cost did make her pause. Edward had suggested getting them plane tickets but she wasn't sure how she felt about him paying for everything. She was aware that his family was well-off but she didn't know how much until he mentioned they owned an island in Brazil.

"Isle Esme," he said. "Carlisle bought if for her as a gift in the 60s."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Who are you people?"

"Carlisle made a lot of good investments over the decades," he explained. "And for obvious reasons, Alice is very good at predicting the stock-market."

Which did make sense but for some reason she expected Carlisle having shady business deals instead of just good investments. Like he was a doctor to mafia bosses and sold morphine on the side or sold organs on the black market. Who else would own a freaking _island_? She realized she had no idea how much money this family had. And they willingly chose to live in Forks where nothing ever happened instead of some gated community where only millionaires and celebrities lived.

"You don't make sense to me," she remarked. "And that includes the vampire thing."

"I was just saying that if you ever want to go to the beach, we can go to the island," he offered. "It's a private island and we only have caretakers come once every two weeks so there's little chance of exposure."

"Exposure to the sparkles," she clarified. "Could you imagine how weird that would be for somebody to just walk up to the beach and see a man sparkling from head to toe? What would we even say? That I painted you in glitter glue?"

"I was always focused more on the fear of being executed than the feelings of the people that would see me."

"I could tell them it's really good highlighter," she added. "Or some cool special effects. Tell them we're shooting a movie…about some sparkly aliens. Wait. Do you think maybe vampires came from aliens?"

"I doubt that vampires came from aliens."

"Nobody knows where vampires came from. If it's not humans, maybe it came from a meteorite and it caused a mutation," she continued. "Or an alien came out of a spaceship and infected people and that's how it started."

He didn't say anything, knowing that Jessica couldn't be stopped once she started theorizing. She'd been confused when he told her he wasn't really interested in knowing the origins of vampires. She couldn't understand why he could be content to not ask questions and not want to look for answers. She wanted to know as much as she could.

"Why?" he asked. "What's so important about knowing where vampires came from?"

She looked at him, blue eyes bright. "Because you're real."

He still wasn't getting it. "And?"

"And your existence goes against everything science tell us," she explained. "You defy logic and reality just by being here. You're _magic_. You are something that shouldn't exist, that shouldn't be possible and yet you're here."

He stayed quiet, unable to say anything against the awe in her expression and her voice.

"Don't you get it?" She smiled. "If you exist, Edward, what else does? What else is out there hiding and has secrets that could change the world? The fact that you exists means _nothing_ is impossible."

"I'm not…I'm not magic," he countered. "I'm not whatever you think I am."

That self-loathing he kept close to his chest was more visible than she'd ever seen it. She'd known that he hated what he was, that if he had a choice he would go back to being human. He would trade his immortality away in a heartbeat. He would refuse to see what he was as a blessing, a gift.

"You're a question and an answer," she declared. "And I want to know everything, Edward. If you'd let me."

"The answers you find aren't safe," he replied. "I can't protect you from those dangers if you want to go down that road."

"But it would be my choice."

"I wish you wouldn't."

She took his hand. "Did I ever tell you who my favorite scientist is?"

"Albert Einstein?" he guessed and smiled as she rolled her eyes. "I give up. Who is it?"

"Marie Curie," she answered. "She was a pioneer in researching radiation and she eventually died from it."

"Are you saying you would risk death to learn about this?" He shook his head. "Please reconsider."

"I think it's what I'm meant to do."

"Study something else," he insisted. " _Anything_ else _._ Not this or anything related to it. Not the werewolves either."

"I think I can do some good if I-"

"No," He said firmly. "I'm begging you, Jessica. Anything else."

She wanted to argue more. He didn't have the say on what she decided to research once she graduated from college. Whether she wanted to risk her life or not was up to her but she could tell he wasn't going to move on this. She would have to concede.

"Okay," she told him. "If that's what you want."

She still had to learn in college before she could really do any research that would give substantial results. For now, she would ask Carlisle harmless questions. For now, she would observe all the abilities she could see Edward do. For now, she would let him think he had won this argument.

And everything was fine _for now_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the late upload. I was having some internet issues. We had to get the modem replaced and it was frustrating cause I did have all the remaining chapters written. I'll be uploading all the remaining chapters on the same day. No need to make you wait longer.
> 
> 1\. In the books, Eric was actually the valedictorian so I did make a reference to that.
> 
> 2, I debated over whether to keep Jessica's graduation speech or make a new one. Jessica went on a different journey here then she did in the books/movies so she would write a new speech. I just showed glimpses of it in their conversation but I didn't want to make you sit there and read a whole speech.
> 
> 3\. The conversation with Rosalie was meant to echo her conversation with Bella in the books (without her backstory). She is trying to be kind to Jessica in her own way by telling her the truth.
> 
> 3\. Jessica's interest in vampires isn't just a passing fancy. This is explored more in the future.
> 
> 4\. Chapter title is from The Smith's song.


	24. Summer Stock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer ends.

The last summer before college was bittersweet. They were all making plans for leaving Forks but also trying to spend as much time with each other as they could. There were applications for student housing, packing, and trying not to cry every time Jessica realized she wouldn't be around her friends anymore. They would Skype and keep up with each other but it wouldn't be the same as they would be across state lines.

The Cullens were all getting ready to move and Jessica wondered about the big modern house in the woods and whether they were going to sell it. Edward told her that there currently weren't any plans to sell it and it was destined to sit empty in the woods, standing out against the nature around it. Angela and Jacob were having some issues with having to be away from each other. Seattle wasn't too far but it was still a three and a half hour drive.

Lauren was excited to be back in Seattle and was taking the impending separation from her adolescent life better than everyone. Jessica heard Ben Chenney and Katie Marshall broke up as she was planning on going to college out of state and they both agreed they wouldn't survive the long distance. It made her wonder what would've happened to her and Edward if he hadn't decided to follow her to Stanford and if Alice hadn't applied for him months ago. Mike's student visa was approved and he already booked his flight for the UK and Jessica still couldn't understand why he would take rainy London over sunny California.

Days passed by and it could've just been the summers before. They would go surfing at La Push and Jacob and Angela kept close to each other like they were afraid the other person would disappear if they didn't hold on tight enough. They ate s'mores by the bonfire and talked about all their best memories with each other as if they happened only yesterday. Eric took as many photos, trying to document every second.

Since the Cullens were not allowed on Quileute land, Jessica brought Edward to any other hangout they had. Edward had never been to any of Mike's parties and he got a crash course in a game of beer pong and pretending to get drink. After Edward's superior reflexes, guaranteed him and Mike an easy win against Tyler and Eric, Mike gave him one of those manly hugs with back pats like they were old friends. Edward didn't seem to know how to react and he kept still as Jessica laughed at him from where she was watching.

Mike drew away from him. "You're alright, Cullen."

"Thanks," Edward replied, uncomfortable. "You're not so bad yourself, Newton."

"Just between you and me, I wasn't so sure when I learned that you and Jess were a thing."

"Why is that?"

"Jess deserves good things, you know? She's smarter than everyone here and she's destined for big things," Mike explained. "She deserves someone who sees that and appreciates it about her."

"And you think I'm the right guy?"

"Well, that's for Jess to decide, isn't it? She wanted it to be me but I would only hold her back. You push her, okay? She needs pushing sometimes," Mike pulled away. "See you around, Cullen."

Edward made his way to where Jessica was seated and took the cup of beer she was finishing. She was crossing the line from tipsy to drunk and he knew her mother wouldn't appreciate if he brought her home wasted.

"I'm closing the tap for you tonight," When she tried to take it back from him, he held it high over her head. She looked like she wanted to kick him. "Listen to me okay? You said to stop you before you go too far. You made me promise."

"I'm not that drunk yet," she argued. "One more and I'm good."

"Fine," He handed her the cup. "One more and that's it."

"Okay," She took his hand as they made their way to the keg and she fumbled with the nozzle to fill her cup. "What were you and Mike talking about?"

"You. He basically gave us his seal of approval," Edward answered. "Do you think maybe you and your friends are too close?"

"We are nowhere near as inappropriate as you and your siblings." she countered before she began singing. " _Like a virgin touched for the very first time_ -"

"Stop," he groaned. "I concede. Nobody is as bad as my siblings."

"Once you get past how hot you all are, you're just a bunch of dorks," Jessica declared. "Don't know why we were so intimidated for all these years."

* * *

Mike was the first to leave. He had the earliest flight and his parents drove him to the airport in Port Angeles. They had a going away party for him the day before and Jessica tried not to cry. He pulled her into a sideways hug.

"Don't cry, Jess," he told her. "I'm not gonna be gone forever."

"I know."

They would all return to Forks at some point but it wouldn't be the same. They were going to be different people. And who they were now was not who they would be in a few years. They would change.

She would be the next to leave since the rest of her friends would be leaving later in the summer since Seattle was nearer. She agreed to let Eric travel with her since they were headed the same way. Once they arrived, he would take the train from Palo Alto to Pasadena. Edward would be travelling with them but separately in his Volvo.

As her departure grew closer, she talked to Emily and reminded her about the chocolate cake she needed to bake for their mom in April. She would be back in December and take care of the Christmas lights. She just needed her sister to be able to do the cake and advised Emily to ask Mrs. Weber for help if she messed it up. She might have to even call Emily in case she forgot.

She had one last sleepover with Angela and Lauren the week before. Lauren talked about the housing Leah was able to get for them, a three-bedroom house within campus.

Jessica asked, "And you've figured out the whole full moon thing?"

"Leah found some place I can shift for that and she'll be there," Lauren answered. "And we have a Plan B if things go awry."

"What's Plan B?"

"Tranquilizers. Leah knows a guy and they're strong enough to take down an elephant so that should work," she replied. "But it's for emergencies only."

"What would that even do to your system?"

"Let's hope we never have to find out," Lauren said flippantly. "How about you? Are you staying at the Residence Halls or are you gonna find an apartment with Cullen?"

"I'll be living at the Florence Moore Hall," Jessica explained. "And it's too soon for me and Edward to be living together."

He had brought it up as he didn't want to stay in the dorms. He found an apartment within campus and asked her if she wanted to stay with him and she could have her own room. She didn't think they were ready for that. They'd been dating for around eight months, less than a year.

It was too soon to be co-habituating. He visited her regularly and they had shared a bed, her sleeping and him pretending like he didn't watch her through the night like the creep that he was. An apartment together was a big step. A step she wasn't sure she wanted to take anytime soon.

It wasn't that she never wanted to live with him. Maybe in a year or two they could revisit the subject. If she truly hated living in the dorms, she could move in with him. He had said his door was always open and she knew he meant it.

The day of her departure finally came and she got up bright and early. Her stuff was all packed and she stood outside her house and tried to remember when they first moved there from Maine. She couldn't quite remember any memories as she'd been too young but she did try to imagine her dad leaving the house he grew up in and going to Bates College alone. Not for the first time, she wished he was there and she wanted to hear him tell her that everything was going to be okay and that she was going to do great.

Edward took her hand. "I know I'm not who you want to hear it from but you should know that everything is going to be okay and that you're going to do great."

"Thanks," She squeezed his hand. "Where's your family? Aren't they going to see you off?"

"They actually left town a few days ago," Edward explained. "Besides, I'll see them during the holidays."

She hadn't known his family had left. She didn't even get to say goodbye to them or wish them a safe trip. She wished Alice the best in fashion school and hopefully Jasper didn't eat anybody in New York. She'd been so focused on her own loss, she forgot that Edward would be without his family too, the people he'd been with for decades.

She asked, "Are you going to miss them?"

"No," He snorted. "That's a lie. I probably will in a few days."

She squeezed his hand. "You'll still have me there. Just don't sneak into my dorm in the middle of the night. You might scare my roommate."

"I can't promise I won't," he quipped. "I get bored at night."

He had to be so creepy. She still had a lot to work on with him.

She said goodbye to her mom and Emily. It had been hardest to leave Sunny who didn't understand what was going on. Her golden retriever looked older than she remembered. She still remembered when her dad had brought her home as a puppy when she was eight.

Sunny had been with her all this time and now they had to be separated. She petted Sunny and held her tears. Emily agreed to let Sunny sleep in her room and she would see her during the holidays. She wished she could sneak Sunny into her luggage and find a way to hide a big dog in her dorms but knew that wasn't happening.

They picked up Eric at his house and they were off.

* * *

The drive from Forks to Palo Alto was over fourteen hours. They had to stop for food and gas but mostly powered through till they reached their destination. Eric had made them a playlist for their road trip and they sang along. Eric put himself on snack duty and they munched on whatever he could get from convenience stories.

They stopped twice for meals and Edward went on an extended 'bathroom break'. Jessica coughed and gestured to a spot of blood on his collar he missed and they had to tell Eric it was ketchup. Eric didn't question it and was too busy taking photos of the scenery around them. Jessica let him drive for the last few hours to give herself a break and it was night when they arrived at Palo Alto.

They dropped Eric off at the train station. Eric pulled her into a hug and they were both pretty grimy from the long trip but she didn't push him away.

"I'm not gonna be too far, Jess, so don't hesitate to call me to meet up if you need me," Eric told her. "I'll always be there."

"You too, Eric."

He got on the train and they made their way to the Stanford campus. Edward insisted on helping her with her luggage up to her dorm before going to his apartment which she was grateful for as his super strength made it easy. Her dorm room was empty and her roommate probably hadn't arrived yet and she was able to call dibs on which bed she liked. She took a seat on the bare mattress and looked around her tiny dorm room.

"I can't believe we're finally here," she said. "I've been waiting for over two years for this and now I don't have to imagine."

Edward dropped her luggage on the ground and looked around. "I keep forgetting how small college dorms are. You sure you don't want to stay with me? You won't have to share the bathroom with everyone on this floor."

"Good point but my answer is still no," She lied down on the mattress and closed her eyes. "I'm so tired. I never want to move from this spot. You're going to have to feed and water me from here."

He laughed. "Whatever you want."

"I'm not kicking you out but you should probably head to your apartment and unpack your staff."

He walked over to her and took a seat on the mattress next to her. "I have all night to do that. I don't sleep, remember?"

"Are you going to stay here till I fall asleep and watch me again?"

He paused then said, "No."

"Don't lie to me," She opened her eyes and stared at him accusingly. "I know you."

"Only for like an hour," he confessed and dodged her when she moved to smack him. "Fine, fine. I won't."

He leaned down and kissed her lightly. "I'll see you in the morning. We can go out for breakfast."

"Okay," She didn't really want him to leave. "Breakfast."

He got up and she held unto his hand. He stared down at her and she pouted. He smiled and let her hand go. She sat up and watched as he left the room, feeling bereft.

It had been a long day. Maybe she should've asked him to stay the night. All the changes were beginning to take their toll. Wanting some semblance of normalcy, she got ready for bed.

Lying in bed under her duvet and staring up at the ceiling, she found she couldn't sleep. She wished she told Edward to stay. She didn't want to be alone. She turned when she saw the window opening and a shadowy figure make its way into the room.

Unsure, she called out, "Edward?"

"It's me."

Thank God. She wasn't in the mood to be murdered her first day on campus. She pulled back the covers to let Edward in and they fit somehow on that single mattress. She was still homesick and she wished Sunny was there but Edward's presence helped. If she tried hard enough, it could feel like she was home.

"Hey, Edward…"

"Yes?"

"I'm really glad you're here," She cuddled closer to him. "Thank you for coming with me."

"As if you could keep me away," He kissed her hair. "I'll go wherever you go."

Her heart so full it might be burst. It took a long time for them to end up there. It scared her to even think of the many worlds they didn't end up together, where they would've never known what they could be to each other. She was glad she was in this world where they found each other in spite of everything.

She wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jessica's high school life ends and her college life begins. Originally, I wasn't going to write about Jessica in college. I was going to do a time jump and it was going to be a spin-off with Lauren going to New Orleans but people were excited to see Jessica in college and I got curious too. It will be interesting to see how her relationship with Edward develops as she grows more as a person.
> 
> 1\. Why does Mike go to college in the UK? He doesn't in the books/movies. It's actually a reference to my other fic, Equinox, where he goes to college in London (and later gets his girlfriend there pregnant Maybe he's not gonna be a young dad in the universe or maybe he will).
> 
> 2\. Pasadena is five hours away so Eric won't be making a lot of appearances in the sequel. Everyone else is in Seattle so we are saying goodbye to Jess' friends though they keep in touch and give updates about what's going on with them. And all the Cullens are in New York so Ed and Jess are by themselves there.
> 
> 3\. Chapter title is from the movie Summer Stock starring Gene Kelly and Judy Garland.


	25. College Daze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica's life is never boring.

The first week was a mess of emotions. Jessica was excited, terrified, and nervous all at once. She met a lot of people during the week-long new student orientation including her roommate. Bonnie Bennett was from New Orleans and she was nice, friendly, and collected crystals.

They were getting along quite well even if she was wary around Edward. Not surprisingly, Edward intimidated people as he usually did. There was no hiding his otherness and he was naturally stand-offish it was going to take people a while to warm up to him. People also asked him if he was an albino with how pale he was and how he avoided the sun.

Bonnie was civil with Edward though she was pointedly not as friendly with him as she was with everyone else. In return, Edward was keenly observing the girl after noticing she smelled differently than the other students. He couldn't seem to put his finger on what was different about her. Jessica just had to accept the fact her boyfriend and her roommate weren't going to be friends.

Another person she met during orientation was a boy named Riley Biers. He was from Santa Fe and was majoring in Bioengineering which meant they had a lot of classes together. He was really nice and they bonded over _Friends_ and would quote the show at each other. Edward did not like him immediately.

"He likes you," Edward said. "And not as a friend."

"Did you read that in his mind or is that your jealousy talking?" she replied. "And Riley has a girlfriend back home."

"He thinks you're cute and funny," He looked annoyed. "And he's thinking about breaking up with his girlfriend."

That was troubling.

"He's gonna leave her for me? He barely knows me."

"It's not you. He's wanted to break up with her for a while," he continued. "But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to date you. You _are_ cute and you _are_ funny. He sees that."

"Guys don't see me like you do," she pointed out. "You think I'm irresistible but most guys think I'm annoying. Before you, I had two boyfriends and neither of those lasted long. Neither of them was serious."

"Human boys are idiots," he practically growled, pulling her closer to hold her. "I should eat all of them for making you think less of yourself."

"I think that might cause some problems down the line," She laughed. "You can't murder everyone that's mean to me."

"I can and I will," He dipped down and kissed her. "They won't even be able to fight me off. They'd be dead before they could even scream."

"Oh-kay, Jack the Ripper," She pecked the corner of his mouth. "I'm used to you being weird and creepy by now."

"Good."

He looked behind her and she turned to see Riley walking past with a few of his friends. Riley waved at her, smiling brightly. She was about to wave back but Edward grabbed her and kissed her deeply. He let her go and smiled smugly.

She smacked him in the arm. "Stop being possessive. It's not attractive."

"I have to get the message across somehow."

"What message?"

"That no matter his interest in you, you're _my_ girlfriend," he said. "And yes, that makes me possessive and jealous and you can hate it but I can't help myself."

"We'll work on it," she replied. "And don't mind, Riley. Give him a couple of weeks around me and he'll be so annoyed with me he'll wish I'd just go away."

"I doubt that," He leaned his forehead on hers. "But I trust you."

"Good."

* * *

Jessica would never get used to girls staring at Edward. She knew she couldn't really blame him. He was designed to attract them to make the chomping down on their arteries easier but it didn't mean she enjoyed it. She remembered being one of them, drawn to his undeniable attractiveness and unable to help herself.

He was different with her. She saw past the pretty face. She knew what songs he played when he was in a specific mood. She knew how to make him laugh. She knew he was deep down, just a massive nerd, who would argue anyone to death about how _Romeo and Juliet_ was atragedy dang it and anyone who thought it was romantic was vastly misconstruing what Shakespeare wrote the freaking play about.

He had declared some people in his Lit class as insufferable and on the list of people he would eat if he ever decided to give up on his 'vegetarian' lifestyle. He was grumpy most days and could barely tolerate other people. He dressed too nicely and he refused to listen to music after the 60s. He was really an old man in the body of a teenager.

When girls would try to flirt with him, he usually stared them down until they got the message. The bolder ones would be quickly rebuffed. Jessica didn't have to ever doubt his loyalty because he didn't really like people. He didn't even try to hide it either. She wondered if Edward secretly just wanted to live a cabin in the middle of nowhere, away from society, and stay there.

Jessica was walking around campus with Bonnie when she spotted him talking to a girl. She was pale with long brown hair and doe eyes and was biting her lips as she stuttered out words. Edward was staring down at her intensely, his usually golden gaze almost black. It looked like somebody needed to eat a coyote or two.

She told Bonnie she would catch up with her later and made her way to them. She sidled up to Edward and noted he wasn't even breathing. He was stiff as a board as he stared down at the girl. The brunette widened those doe eyes as Jessica greeted Edward with a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi babe," She _never_ called Edward that but boundaries had to be set. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Isabella Swan," Edward answered her, his voice flat and his gaze on the brunette's pale throat. "She's from Arizona."

Making sure to show she was holding Edward's hand, she asked, "Are you on the campus tour?"

"It's, um, Bella actually," the brunette replied. "And yes, um, I'm thinking of transferring, um, next semester."

That was a lot of ums.

"Well, good luck with that. Stanford does have one of the most _difficult_ acceptance rates," Jessica remarked. "And are you sure about California? You're so pale and skin cancer is a very real thing."

Bella frowned. "I'm used to the heat actually. I'm from Arizona."

"Arizona. Right," she returned flippantly. "Well, you enjoy the rest of the tour. _My boyfriend_ and I have things to do. Bye!"

Jessica dragged Edward away, delighting at how Bella watched them leave despondently. Lauren Mallory would've been proud. In fact, she was definitely telling her about this on their next Skype call. She glanced back to see the brunette walking off, slouching in defeat.

Edward was still stiff as a board and watching Bella walk away with his eyes dark as the night.

"What is wrong with you?" she demanded. "You're so stiff it's like you have rigor mortis,"

He growled, " _La tua cantante_."

"What is that? Spanish? You know I took up German."

"It's Italian. It means 'singer'. Her blood _sings_ for me," He explained, swallowing. "Some human blood is more irresistible than others."

She raised both eyebrows. "Should I be jealous that her blood is more appealing to you than mine?"

" _No_. I want to kill her. I want to drain her of every drop of her blood," He ran his fingers through his hair. "You shouldn't be jealous of that. God, if you hadn't shown up I might've given in and bit her right there for everyone to see."

That would've been very bad. She rubbed his back soothingly. "What do you need?"

"I'm going to go feed. It'll be nighttime soon anyway," He cupped her cheek and kissed her quickly. He looked like he was restraining himself to the point of pain. "Just so we're clear, no matter whose blood sings for me, I am yours. Heart, body, and soul, Jessica Stanley."

She tried not to smile. "No need to flatter me. Go and eat."

"I'll see you later."

She watched him leave and finally smiled. Nope. She never had to doubt his loyalty.

* * *

Jessica was a decent cook but she had taken for granted her mom cooking meals for her. There were meals at the Dining Hall but sometimes she wanted to snack on something and didn't want to have to make it herself. She'd been eating too much Cheetos as a result. Her organs had to be orange at this point.

She had a study date with Riley and he came over to see her half-way through a bag of Cheetos. He also lived at FloMo but on a different floor.

"You know those have zero nutritional value, right?" he remarked. "They taste good but they're bad for you in the long run."

"I didn't invite you here for a PSA," she grumbled. "And I'm hungry."

"How about I make us something?" he suggested. "I grew up in Santa Fe. I know good food and my family runs a restaurant so I'm a great cook."

"What are you going to make?"

"What do you have to cook?"

He went through the random assortment of food she and Bonnie kept. He looked at the expiration date of a can of beans and placed it back. He picked up the bag of tortilla chips instead.

"Nachos it is," he declared. "With three different cheeses because you're worth it."

"Aw," She placed her hand over her heart. "I'm touched."

"Careful," He waved a finger at her. "Your boyfriend might get jealous."

Oh, he would. Edward couldn't help himself.

"I won't tell him that you made me nachos if you don't," she said conspiringly. "Cheese is too erotic."

He laughed. "What do I have to cook to steal you from him?"

"Can you bake? Pie is worth an elopement."

"Will pecan pie do?"

"Not for an elopement. If you said blueberry pie, we would be driving to Vegas and getting hitched as we speak."

"Good to know," He got up, carrying the bag of tortilla chips. "Let's go to the kitchen. If you're nice, I'll make you dessert."

"I'm always nice."

They were joking around. This wasn't flirting. She would have said these things to Eric or Tyler. The difference was that Edward never thought either of them was interested in her because they weren't.

He was sure Riley liked her and she wanted him to be wrong. Away from all her friends, she wanted to make new ones. She had only Bonnie and Riley. If Riley liked her, then she couldn't be friends with him. Everything would be ruined.

After demolishing a giant plate of nachos, they went back to studying. They had dinner at the Dining Hall and Riley left her to go back to his dorm. She was getting ready for bed when Bonnie finally came back. The other girl was carrying a burlap sack.

"Hey Bon," she greeted. "How was your day?"

Bonnie emptied the contents of the sack unto the floor of their dorm. The carcass of a dead coyote stared up at Jessica and she shrieked, backing away from it.

"What the fuck, Bonnie?" she exclaimed. "Why would you bring that here?"

Bonnie toed the dead coyote with her boot. "It's been drained of its blood. I found others like it, one was a cougar."

Jessica's heart began beating faster. She knew what killed those animals. Edward hadn't been as careful cleaning up after himself as he thought if Bonnie was able to find the dead animals. She needed to talk to him about this.

"And?"

The other girl looked her in the eye and asked, "Did you know your boyfriend's a vampire?"

Oh fuck.

They were so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the end of Impossible. For now. See you all in the sequel which will be called Impractical. I never thought this story would be getting the attention and the love that it did. Thank you for reading, giving kudos, and leaving comments. Thank you for giving this story and this rare pairing a chance.
> 
> And a huge shoutout to Aria who helped me with this story by having weird conversations with me about vampire birth control and just being a great supportive friend when I was having my mini-meltdowns. I love you, cream puff.
> 
> 1\. Jessica's roommate is Bonnie Bennett from The Vampire Diaries TV series. If you know her, you might have some idea of who she is and what she brings to the story. Will other TVD characters make an appearance in the sequel? I only have the Bennett Family planned to appear but never say never.
> 
> 2\. I did say this story has 'No Bella' and that's still true. Bella's cameo was me just having a laugh cause people were asking what would happen if Bella was in the story. There you go.
> 
> 3\. Riley is the same Riley from Eclipse. He is not a vampire here or has anything to do with Victoria and the nomads. He's just an ordinary human college kid. I didn't want to make OCs.


End file.
